Under the Umbrella

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She shouldn’t have been thinking this way but she couldn’t help it. In a few days, she wouldn’t recall that she carried thoughts as this, but for now, she all but wished that she were never a part of this family, or at least the head of the family.

She knew life was going to get harder when her father resolved his mind to leave them. She couldn’t blame him. She had wanted to leave too but she couldn’t and the only reason her father had the courage to leave was because he trusted his first daughter enough. It was his chance to enjoy his life and while it was hard to see him go, Aria, unlike her sisters, let him go without a fight. They hadn’t seen him ever since he left.

It was hard for Aria to keep her thoughts on pause as she walked and walked without a destination in mind, fighting tears all the way. She kept mulling over how she could run away from the responsibilities in hopes of her father taking care of it instead. It was selfish of her but it was especially times like these she missed him.

Everyone at the age of twenty-one was probably out there enjoying youth but here she was, taking care of her sick mother and her four sisters. Not to forget, she was working her ass off to pay for hers and her sisters’ education amongst other running expenses. Her father never failed to wire some monthly money into her account but it was never enough and she could never tell him that. Not that she was able to anyway when she had no way of contacting him.

Aria prayed that no one she personally knew saw the encounter between her mother and herself a while ago. She had to tow her mother all by herself, thankful that she hadn’t run off too far away from the house, while the entire street stared at the commotion. She could imagine the trouble her mother should be causing to her sister who was taking care of her but she didn’t want to think about it, knowing she would begin to feel sorry for her sister.

More than being mortified by the situation, she was just sad that this was what her life had come to. No. I can’t be doing this again, she thought. She was done pitying herself, mostly because people who knew her pitied her plentiful for her portion as well. Whenever she began to give into the feeling, she would remain unchanged for days and she couldn’t have that now.

It wouldn’t have mattered if she was always by herself but that wasn’t the case. She had people who would question the crestfallen smile, which eventually led her to become the kind of person to refrain talking about her problems all because it was too tiring to explain. It was much easier to look like a person who was cheery, because while being happy was judged no one ever questioned that.

There was only one person who was able to bring an easy smile on to her face without even having to ask for it so before she could change her mind, she was taking her phone out and dialing the number as she decided on the destination.

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