PAROXYSMS (What is on my mind?)

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Chapter 20

Mig was standing on April’s doorstep pleading to come with them to the hospital. April was reluctant at first before approving and Peel was embarrassed. The last thing she wanted was to be parented by Mig alongside April.

Dr. Mason greeted Peel as she walked in his office. Mig and April waited outside even though Peel literally had begged them to leave.

“How do you feel today Peel?”

She wanted to say horrible after what she had imagined last night but instead she replied,

“Better.”

“Okay, I will be prescribing you some drugs that will help subside the symptoms.”

He took out a pen and started writing her prescription.

“You will also be needing your psychotherapy sessions, I have already spoken with Dr. Bryan at NHS you have an appointment at 12 AM.

She looked at her watch, it was 10 15 AM.

“Thank you Dr. Mason.”

At 10 30 they were seated at a cafe.

“I need to be attending psychotherapy sessions at NHS from today.” Peel mumbled while April squeezed her hands underneath the table.

“I will take you.” Mig responded.

Peel nodded before Mig spoke again.

“April go to Foxan you are in charge for the day.” his eyes gleamed as his voice tensed.

“I am not leaving her anywhere!” She was gobsmacked.

“You have to interview Hermaini today!” He snapped. Peel had never seen him talk like that with April before. His eyes flinched, neck slightly cocked as he sipped in his coffee. It was the first time ever, April was intimidated by him. She sipped in the coffee from her mug generating a hum in affirmation, curling up her brows in disdain.

We were on our way to NHS after dropping off April at Foxan. Hermaini was a new actress cum model who was the new buzz of the fashion world with her Netflix show “Insomnia” being a wild hit. Foxan had decided to release its interview with Hermaini on YouTube tempting the young age group for the magazine pursuit. She sat down quietly as he drove his harrier. He was wearing the same cologne Peel remember from the night they wrapped themselves in passion. She wondered whether she was deluded about him too. She did not have memories of them ever speaking or interacting. She knew they were not friends but now he was driving her to the therapy but the question was why? He was chivalrous and generous plus she had given Foxan two years of her dedication so he was probably being polite.

“I will pick you up after the session.” His voice pulled her out from her abstraction.

“Why?” She sighed.

He turned facing her flinching his eyes contemplating the answer to her “why” before realizing it did not matter. He knew he did not exist in her world and she for him was a beguiling book he could never read.

*****

How much have I imagined, digressing from reality weaving my own world, my solace? How long have I been this numb? How much have I been detached from? When I will come back perceiving the presence will I be content with it? Will I be able to escape from what I saw behind the doors? The storm of the blue sea, the facade of flawless reflections, I do not want to witness it all over again. Sadly for now I do not know whether they had happened in the first place or not and sadly I do not even know am I with me anymore.

*******

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