“Kass,” Charlotte knocked on my door.
“Yeah, Lottie?” I answer, hearing my mom’s muffled voice from down the hallway. She’s probably gossiping, I think, pulling open my drawer and revealing my straightener.
“Mom’s talking to some lady...and she sounds stressed, like someone’s dead...” Lottie opens the door, revealing herself in a black graphic tee and some sweats, looking flawless.
“It’s only 12pm on a Saturday! Is she gossiping again?” I plug in my straightener, and storm down the hallway, wobbling a bit, about to shove the door open and scold my mom about how you’re not supposed to gossip about other people, when I hear her voice crack like she's crying.
“No! I- he can’t be dying.. I know I haven’t been there but.. I have a life too, you know...” Mom’s voice says, holding back tears.
“Rosalia, it’s not too late to come and visit,” a woman’s voice says from the phone.
“I’ll leave tonight...” Mom whispers, clicking her phone off.
I hear her weight lift off her bed and her footsteps coming closer. My stomach grumbles loudly and I get dizzy, but that doesn't stop me from sprinting down the hallway and into my room. The world starts to spin and I collapse, almost knocking into Lottie, standing in the doorway.
“AHHHH!” I screech, tumbling to the ground.
“Are you TRYING to kill me!?” she yells, looking at me splayed on the hard wood floor.
“Noooo. I was trying to get away from Mom’s door. She was walking to the door and I didn’t want to get caught being nosy,” I whisper, shutting my eyes.
I get up off the floor slowly, opening my eyes, and slam my door shut. I turn to Lottie and head over to my vanity. I section my hair and lift the straightener, shaking a bit, hearing Lottie sit on my bed. I haven't drank water since last morning.
“Someone she knows is dying and she’s leaving tonight to that someplace,” I say, my voice cracking, straightening my curly hair, “We need to find out who she was just talking to, Lottie.”
“And how are we suppose to do that? We can’t exactly just steal her phone and look through it like maniacs!” she pointed out.
“You’re a genius!” I cheer, “That’s exactly what we’ll do!”
I finish straightening my hair and unplug it. I stand up and reach for my water bottle and gulp it down greedily.
"What-no! You can't be THAT crazy can you?" Lottie reasons.
"Lottie, she won't know. I promise," I give her a hopeful smile.
"Ok...if you say so..."
"Later when she's in the shower we should grab it, act normal for now, Lottie," I point at her, "Don't sell us out."
She gives me a sheepish smile. Last year, when I was 15, and Lottie, 17, she found me outside, holding a cigarette. I wasn't going to actually smoke it, I was cleaning the coffee table and found it. I was going to throw it out when Lottie threw open the screen door and gave me a wide eyed look.
"Kass," she said, "what are you doing?! You're 15, um hellooo illegal!"
Then she snatched the cigarette out of my hand and scolded me. I explained that I was clearing the coffee table and that I didn't even have a lighter! She didn't believe me but I told her, don't tell mom. And it wasn't until later at around 10pm, I woke up on the ground with my head throbbing. I most likely fainted again, then I saw out my window, Lottie sitting on the porch and pulling out a lighter. Then, she pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one! It was her cigarette that I found on the table! I ran outside in my booty shorts and gray hoodie, accusing her of smoking. She proceeded to put the cigarette in her mouth and blow smoke in my face, making me cough.
"So what I smoke? JUST TELL MOM!" she screeched that last part so loud I was afraid someone would think she's dying.
"Lottie, don't scream!" I screamed back, holding her for balance.
"Try one," she handed me the cigarette and the lighter.
What I didn't know was that my mom burst outside that second and grounded me for smoking. I tried to tell her it was Lottie, she never believed me because I was holding the stuff. Let's hope this time she doesn't say anything or scream like last time, I would like to keep my phone, thank you very much.
Lottie walks out of my room and goes to hers, locking the door to do who knows what in there, while I busy myself in taking out my paints and easel to finish my painting of mountains. This is the only thing that calms the growling of my stomach and the dizziness. My fatigue usually kicks in at 7pm and I sleep until 11am or 12pm. Time ticks by fast and I'm sucked into the focus of painting. The blue of the sky, and the green of the grass. Soon, mom is calling us down to eat. I check the time and it says, "2:35pm." Shit. I skipped breakfast, again. It's fine, I'll eat lunch just to make mom happy. Right now I stand at 115lbs, at 16 and 5'7. Technically, I'm severly underweight.. and skip doctor appointments, but no one needs to know that. I want to have the same body type as Lottie, nice and skinny. Mom doesn't know about my ED and I'm not about to tell her. It all started when I was 12, and I constantly get sick, but she thinks it's just a weak immune system...nothing more...and it doesn't matter, I won't die if I eat lunch everyday, right...?
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