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A thought of suicide

Mystery / Other
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Staring at the celling

I stare at the celling, and I look past the window. I start to think to myself, “what if I died, would they care?” I then think of ways to end it all. I start to cry. I start wondering, “what happens after death?” I cover my face with my sleeve. I start to uncontrollably crying. My throat hurts, and I don’t know what to do. My face feels cold. My nose. Numb.

Still staring past my window, I see the patio, everyone asleep. “Easy death?” I think to myself. I then look away, and stare back at the celling. I only had one life, “should I continue?” I thought to myself. I tell myself “ I’ll be fine, you’re fine, it’s going to be alright, it will get better, don’t worry!” I continue to uncontrollably sob hugging my pillow.

I think about how my death would be for my family and friends. I thought “ they won’t care, I’m just a problem child anyway.” I sallow my tears. I forgot what it was like to cry. Now I can’t. My face. Dry. Crying, but no tears to show.”death.” It’s a topic no one wants to bring up, but in the end. We all die.
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