Chapter 1
I stared up at the stars that night, laying somewhere in a wet field in the middle of nowhere. Or maybe I was somewhere. Honestly, nothing mattered but the stars. There were so many of them and they were all so brightly lit in the night sky. I wondered if anyone had ever tried to count all of them. The stars were moving, spinning, just dancing around each other in the open night sky. It was so beautiful to watch.
A cold breeze whistled in the wind but I did not shiver, despite the cold night wind and not wearing much more than a pair of shorts and tank top. The alcohol had numbed me hours ago and I just laid here, not feeling anything but appreciation for the beauty in the night sky. Why couldn't it be like this all the time? Why did life have to be so hard? I couldn't even imagine what adulthood would bring. Being numb brought me so much peace, both physically and mentally.
I could hear a faint voice yelling in the distance. It took me a few minutes to realize it was the voice of my best friend, Ashley , and she was yelling my name. "Miya! Miya where are you?" Her voice grew louder as she came closer but I remained silent, still mesmerized by the night sky. If it was that important, she would fine me.
Suddenly, a shadow with long dark hair was standing over me. "Ashhh... Move..." I groan. "Your blocking my view of the sky." I try to roll over but end up puking into the grass next to me. Ew.
"Miya you are drunk. And because I'm your best friend and I love you, I'm trying to make sure we get back to my place before my mom wakes up and kills us both."
I groan again, this time even louder and grab her freezing cold hands and let her pull me up to my feet. It definitely shouldn't be this cold at the end of the summer. The whole world around me started to spin and if it weren't for Ash I probably would of fell flat on my face and slept in this field all night but she wrapped my arm around her shoulder and we started walking into the woods and back to her boyfriend's truck.
I don't remember anything after that but I did wake up in Ashley's room with a killer migraine and the room was spinning so bad. I immediately threw myself out of her bed and ran to her bathroom down the hall to puke my guts out.
I'm never drinking again... I'm never drinking again... I tell myself over and over again knowing it's a lie that I have told myself multiple times since started highschool a year ago. I had promised my parents I would do better this year but I knew that was a lie as well. School was definitely not a priority for me when I could have fun with my friends. What's so great about high school anyways? The snobby rich kids? The shitty food? Or maybe it's the douchebag teachers who barely know the work they are teaching. Whatever the issue was, I was just not happy there. Especially after breaking up with my boyfriend Dallas over the summer.
After a few minutes, I quietly stumbled back to Ashley's room and climb back into her king sized bed, falling asleep again reeking of vodka and puke.
When I finally woke up later on, Ashley was already up with a cup of coffee and watching Secret Life Of An American Teenager in the bed. I felt so sick and the room was spinning like crazy and I groaned and held my head trying to stop the spinning.
"Here." She tosses a unopened water bottle my way and I take it immediately and begin to chug it like it's something my life depends upon. After chugging the whole bottle I look up at her and mutter a quick thank you before falling back onto the pile of pillows. My long blonde hair was knotted and tangled and had sticks and leafs sticking out at every angle and I reeked of puke. I can't go back to sleep smelling like this so I get up and start raiding Ashley's closet until I find black shorts and her AC/DC t-shirt. "I'm going to borrow some clothes and take a shower, cool?" I ask and she nods at me, sipping her coffee.
Ashley was still watching her show when I went into the bathroom to shower. I tried to avoid looking at myself in the mirror but couldn't. My blonde hair was mangled on top of my head and in giant knots. My dark eyeliner and makeup from last night was all over my face and I had huge dark bags under my blue eyes. I sigh and take off my clothes, noticing multiple bruises on my body, probably from falling down to hard and not remembering. Just another day in the life of Miya Beckett I suppose.
I stood in front of the mirror picking the sticks and leafs out of my hair and tossing them in the trash then trying to brush out whatever knots I could. Eventually, I was able to hop in the shower and let the hot water run over my body and finally try to recall the events from the night before. The last thing I clearly remembered was sitting in a opening in the woods with Ashley and Zeke, her boyfriend, and we were drinking straight out the bottle and watching the fire. I tried remembering what happened after that, I think I went for a walk in the woods to go pee and ended up laying in a field.
Trying to remember everything made my head heart so I quickly washed and conditioned and hopped out of the shower, heading back to Ashley's room in a towel.
"Hey." I said, sitting on the edge of the bed. "My heads hurts like a bitch."
Ashley leans over and hands me two aspirins and another bottle of water and I take it both more than greatful. "Thank you."
She nods but continues to stare at me. Her long brown hair was still tangled but nothing compared to what mine. "Are you okay?" She eventually asks me.
"Yeah, of course, why?"
"Just all summer you have been drinking alot."
I laugh and roll my eyes at her comment. "Ash, we have been drinking a lot since like the eighth grade."
"I know but that's not what I mean. Your drinking more. When I found you in that field last night I was so scared you died of alcohol poisoning or something." She says, looking down at her feet.
"Don't be ridiculous." I tell her confidently. "Summer is almost over, we always get fucked up together before going back to school. If Zeke wasn't there, you would have been in that field with me."
"I know but... You were really messed up last night. And you still haven't told me why you broke up with Dallas either. I know it wasn't perfect but you guys were together for almost a year."
"It just wasn't working out, that's all." I said, not looking her in the eyes. What could I say? That Dallas became controlling and abusive and it only got worse? That I was now afraid of him? No, that would only make her worry more. Ash isn't like me, she's a very sensitive and caring person.
She sighs in defeat. "Okay. Maybe I'm just thinking to much into it."
"You definitely are." I tell her, hopping off the bed and quickly getting dressed, not caring that she sees me naked. She's seen it a hundred times already, it's not like I'm a modest person. "I am hung over as fuck and need a cigarette. Let's go for a walk?"
Ashley nods and hops out of the bed as well. "Let me just get dressed and let my mom know we will be back later."
I nod and waited in the room for her, making sure I had my backpack which was filled with weed, cigarettes and alcohol. Maybe I do have a problem. Nahh definitely not. We just like to have fun, that's all. So what if it gets us into trouble sometimes? Correction. When I get us into trouble. Overall, when not around me, Ashley was pretty sweet and innocent. She held good grades, ran on the track team and was already looking into colleges even though Junior year doesn't start for a few more days.
I definitely was not looking forward to going back, especially after being suspended for two weeks at the end of the year for smoking weed in the school bathroom. The principal had it out for me ever since that happened and I knew she was just waiting to expel me for any reason she could, and trust me, I'm sure I'll give her plenty of reasons.
"You ready?" Ashley says, peering into the doorway and scaring the shit out of me.
"Jesus dude yes just don't scare me like that!" I day jumping up and grabbing my backpack so I can follow her outside.
