Chapter 36: Programmed lies
There is so much that I need to put down on paper to explain what it is that SRA really is so that you can see and understand. So much that I need to explain when words are inadequate. Have you ever tried to explain to a blind person what the stars are? Something that is so easy for you to grasp but how do you explain to a person who has never experienced seeing light what stars are? Where would you begin and what possibility do you have of successfully explaining what is understandable to you because of your experience of sight to someone who has no understanding of what you speak because they have no experience of it, nothing to even compare it similar to?
It’s really frustrating knowing that what I have to say to you you will consider as crazy talk because you cannot believe such things possible, yet what I have to say to you is so important for you to understand because it affects your life albeit silently for now, and because without awareness there is no way to stop it. I need you to be able to relate in some way to what I say, because without you there is no way to save the children.
I have no idea how to write this, how to word it, so I just let it come out in whatever way it sees fit and risk that it shall be what needs to be. There was a time when I had no need to write this. I had no need because it was all going to come to an end soon. At least that is what I had been taught. And so I just had to wait as when it all comes to an end the children will be saved. I used to believe the only way to save the children is when the world ends. And the world in my belief was already in the process of ending, my entire life that I can recall I believed that the world would end within my lifetime. Probably when I was in my 40’s but I was not sure of when just that it would be within my lifetime.
I have been programmed to believing the world is coming to an end in my life time, that the war of which I speak of them building an army for will be in my life time. At the very latest in the next generation, which would of been the generation of my children had I ever had children.
Let me give you an example of programming that is triggered at a certain time in ones life. In January of 2012 I had what I thought was a “spiritual” experience. And it certainly felt like it, Crazy yes? Perhaps. Perhaps not. But I saw into another realm where four entities of shining white light that spoke in unison without speaking, that spoke in vibrations yet I heard as words, these entities advised me that the end would start in December 2012 when a portal was opened. That it would take seven years from then to completely end. That three and half years into the period God would take those ready and the rest of humanity would remain for the last three and half years. That in that period those in the fourth dimension would be able to manifest physically in this dimension. That man will be used to feed on, merely blood banks to sustain the physicality of the demons. That the elect would rule under the demons. That those who had been deceived would suddenly see the truth and would run and hide but would be chased and hunted and devoured. That there would not be an existence that consisted of pain. Emotionally, physically and spiritually. That you cannot escape it. And so it would continue for three and half years until the finality of it was over. The one thing that didn’t make sense or should I say, that made me doubt it was a spiritual experience that originated from God, was that there was four beings. And God is not four, He is three. Four is an occultist number. And I know of what is called the council of four. What I am not sure of is whether the council of four is part of my system put in place by “them” as part of keeping me in fear, in other words parts programmed to act in a certain manner, and the manner being as four “rulers” of the fourth dimension. Or if they really are of the fourth dimension. I was used for a lot of spiritual hosting rituals, so I am not sure. Of course, I cannot be sure if even in the rituals what was real and what was drug induced hallucinations.
I have to admit that I cannot trust it as either or, thats just goes with the territory of where I come from, there are so many lies we were made to believe and so many tricks and so much deception, you never know if things are ever really as you remember of if part of the memory was drug induced hallucinations. Yes they like to use hallucination causing drugs in their trauma.In all honesty I hoped with every hope I could muster that it would become truth. That the end would come. For it is the surest way to ensure the children are saved. I have to be honest but deep inside I wanted it to be true. I would rather there be the end knowing that no more children would get hurt. I really believed the crossing over would happen in 2016. (It took two years to start to break through that programming and honestly when 2016 arrived even though I did my best to believe that it was all lies and was not going to happen, I spent 2016 waiting. Well 2016 is finished with now, just.)
For the first time in my life, to somehow actually consider the option that perhaps this is not truth. I had to face that where I come from is a place full of lies. Where children where conditioned to believe lies as truths. That this too might in fact be a lie that I was taught to believe and don’t remember being taught. You see, I do know that the truth of it is that it is planned. But I also know that there are certain things that have to be in place in order for it to occur. And that delays might happen perhaps? That perhaps things they planned will not run according to their schedule. The point is though, that I have obviously reached a place in my healing where I am able to acknowledge that I have to consider that what I believe might not be truth but rather be taught. Thats an aspect of being DID that you have to be conscious of. That you can never know what is complete truth and what is programmed lies until the day that you are whole and no longer at risk of being influenced by conditioning. The fact is, while there are parts there are things unknown. While there are parts there is the possibility of being controlled by them. While there are parts I am at risk of being used for their purposes and I will have no control over it. That is DID.
Having to acknowledge that perhaps the world will not end as desired, left me hopeless once again. For you to understand the importance of saving the children, you would have to understand the trauma these children endure. And I will explain some, a little further on.
I am very conscious of the feeling that every child holds. There is no hope. There is no escape. No one will save them. And its true. There is no way to save them. Cause the cult is not just a violent group of people that abuse children physically and emotionally in order to create a controllable weapon for their purposes. That is them at their weakest level. The cult is spiritual. The cult understand things of the spiritual nature. They understand the power of demons. And they are more active in their worship, more dedicated in their service, than the average Christian is in theirs. And the cult knows where the ultimate power lies. In the hands of the Christian. Its a fact.
If I can get you to understand what is taking place in this world, what is happening in the shadows, if I can just create awareness and a sense of responsibility to act then perhaps those who do not worship darkness will rise up and stand in the power they possess and fight. Its a small tiny chance of hope that I am clinging to, I know, but its all I have to hope on. Understand that the spiritual is way more real than the physical. That the physical is a result of the spiritual. But physicality has dominion.