TICK TOCK An Awareness of Satanic Ritual Abuse

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Chapter 47: Boundaries

I recalled from memory the ability we used to have when we were still not aware of having parts. An ability that we were actually grateful of having and yet if I look at the ability it was in essence the ability to switch but we did not know it as being that. We used to have this ability that if we were involved in a relationship or friendship where we were led to believe we were cared about, we allowed ourself the chance to then care in return. For we do know how to care, in fact we care very deeply. But experience has taught us that caring just puts lives at risk. Caring just gives a means by which you can be controlled. But as we were older and not living at home, the walls were breaking. We started believing that maybe we could care without having to put ourself or others at risk. We wanted so desperately to be in a place we were cared for and could care for in return. I guess we wanted to trust someone, believe that what they said was true. Yet we still had our protection, our ability. That should the trust we gave, the small amount we allowed ourselves to, should the trust be broken even by the smallest fraction, however insignificant, a warning flag inside us to warn us that their claim to caring was not in fact true, immediately without any effort on our behalf we would cut them off in entirety. Or at least thats what we thought we were doing. Instantaneously everything we felt about them on every level possible was removed. And within an instant we felt absolutely no emotion for them, our entire mood towards them would change and we would not be able to pretend it. In an instant everything about how we reacted to them changed. And that was how it stayed. If they begged us not to cut them off, it was not possible to reverse. The damage was done. At the most we could attempt to find an interest in spending time with them but that meant they would have to accept this new manner in which we saw them and deal with it until such time as we might start to find a reason to have an interest. But in all honesty, even if we found an interest to spend time with them it was nothing similar to what was, and it quickly faded out from our side as just being too much effort to maintain. This was how we allowed ourselves the experience of believing we were cared for, just incase it turned out to be true, but when it failed we had a fail safe that prevented us from being hurt in the process. All we were doing in reality was switching. Which is why everything changed and could not be reversed. Because a part cannot feel what another part feels. Even if they are aware of what was felt, for them to feel the same is impossible because they are not the same as the part. If you want to feel the feeling that a part feels, you have to access that part. Its just the way it is. And we have never afforded anyone second chances. I don’t think we even knew how to bring a certain part back to give a second chance. But there is a cardinal rule that governs I would assume the entire system of conscious and sub-conscious. It states that if a person can do something once, they will certainly be able to do it again. And that by allowing someone to do something once is allowing them to do it again and do it again with more intensity. A person will do what they are allowed to do until they are stopped. So if you let a man slap you once in anger and you accept his apology and don’t leave him, you can be guaranteed that the next time he feels that same anger he will hit you again, but this time taking it a little further, perhaps harder or perhaps with the fist. Its a given. A person needs boundaries to know what is acceptable behaviour and if you allow a behaviour the behaviour will repeat at a new level until such time as the boundary is set and the behaviour shown to be not acceptable. But then you have to be able to rationalise why it was accepted in a lesser degree, whats the real difference between that and now? And if you are with a person who is unable to grasp that boundary, that is threatened by the action you put in place to set the boundary, chances are they are going to repeat the behaviour with all their strength to overpower your sense of being in control of them and try instead turn the situation to put them in control. In which case if you are stupid enough to stay you will have created for yourself a pattern of control that will be regulary used to remind you who is in control and you lose. Getting out from that is not so easy. Now fear rules. So the cardinal rule that runs through our system is to never allow someone to do something that goes against the boundaries you set for yourself. Boundaries all have warning signs up warning the person of the behaviour beforehand. Meaning that the behaviour will be known as being a boundary by the manner in which you behave. So if for example I choose not to allow a man to ever hit me in anger, whenever anger is shown I would not show any physical reaction to it, as in you dont push an angry man or hit him and then try make him understand that you are not to be hit. And you would warn him if he stepped into your space for example in his anger you would immediately step away and warn him that you are not to be touched by an angry man. Or simply walk away from the situation entirely until he is over his anger. However, in some situations you don’t have the option to have boundaries. In some situations it is best to not try stop the attacker but submit to the abuse, cause sometimes there is a fine line defining your surviving. And when you submit to danger, the body has a way of protecting itself by submitting itself to unconsciousness or dissociating mental. For example an unconscious body that has no resistance to the punched fist will absorb the impact by moving with it. A conscious body will resist the force and the impact will be felt more severely. It could be the difference between a bruised rib and a broken rib. Its amazing what the body can endure if the mind is not present to instruct it. The body is built to survive. It seldom does not survive when allowed to submit. For us, we have boundaries that barely allow us to be touched, when we are safe enough to express them. Otherwise, boundaries are forgotten along with the experience.

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