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Love Outside The Box - A Guide To Self Love

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Chapter 1: The Beginning Is The End!

This is so very true for many who have reached a place of complete despair in their lives. Symbolic endings of cycles or life situations, tend to bring us to a sudden stop. A time of reflection or a time of ignorance, as with anything it is a choice we make. Most of us have experienced traumatic events throughout our lives. Whether the trauma came from our childhood, teenage years, or adult life, we continuously face opportunities to take a look at our life journey and question reality.

There are many are “waking up” to the reality of the widespread disinformation in all forms of media and communications. In effect, modern day technology is creating a much bigger and more effective series of illusions. Illusions have been created since the beginning of time, in one form or another. As man has evolved there has been a constant struggle for control, power, and wealth. In addition, many illusions and templates have been created to purely serve those that promote them. The more we awaken we begin to see through the illusions that are being portrayed by those in control and power.

The distortion of today’s societal templates leads to generation after generation of losing touch with who we truly are. Is this a paradox in some way or another, or a reality that we can change? We learn from the moment of conception, but the constant within us remains a pure love energy. We are created in love, and our basis for existence is love. The very essence of our creation is simply pure love.

As we grow up we are constantly subjected to “how it should be”, “expectations”, “education systems”, “relationship values” and many more other societal conditioning tools. For the sake of our highest good or to please others, many of us are further subjected to “religious values” and “systems of Government”. These illusions do not reflect the “truth” of the way our lives unfold, as most of us tend to reach a point when we discover the “truth” of all that is.

“Before we learn the truth, our perception of love is shaped by our inner circle of family and friends, in some cases even by religion itself. So many try to define love and place its meaning into some form of structure (or box!) when in fact, this is the last thing we should do. Love doesn’t fit into a rigid structure. It is an essence that lies within each and every one of us. It is as unique as our DNA, and for each of us, love truly is unquantifiable.

Labelling of such a wonderful essence or feeling in itself limits what it is. Love is a powerful energy that takes over us if we truly allow it to. We cannot quite describe what or how it happens, it just does. It is this inner knowing and recognition of love that then triggers the ego-mind into trying to understand what is going on and how it fits into our lives.

For millennia we have been trying to decipher love, yet there is no definitive answer, except the one that speaks to you and your soul. Only the ego-mind wants an answer and in so many ways is the beginning of the end of the essence of love. As we try to contain something or to limit its true meaning, the true value cannot be reflected, leading to the accumulated energy being lost. The ego-mind begins to add conditions, or expectations, or limits of love, based upon what we have learned or been conditioned to believe. This usually occurs right at the point when the ego-mind recognises that the love does not fit with what is stored in our consciousness.

Worse still, in some cases, we turn our backs on love, simply because we have seen throughout our life the effect of love in others. In this context, we are referring to arguments, aggression, divorce, and other images portrayed today. Because of what we have heard or seen we simply become fearful of the very essence within. Our families are impacted by the love we are supposed to share with one another. Love seems to be forced upon us and our psychology accepts the experiences that impact our life.

Our brain continually receives and processes the actions, definitions, images and opinions of love, and this remains with us throughout life. We will always refer back to a past memory or situation so that we can relate to the current moment. The current moment bears no relationship with the past, but the ego-mind will use the past to torment the present and the future. This activity, in reality, hinders us from truly experiencing what we are encountering or feeling.

We cannot lose sight that each of us is born with the pure essence of love within, we seek this from others, in a nurturing and natural way. Metaphorically speaking this is our birthright – to be loved and cared for, so that we may become our own highest good. Until our parents allow us to discover and explore life on our own, much the way mammals have evolved on this planet since time began.

The first experience of love will undoubtedly come from our mother; that maternal love bond is present, in most cases, until birth. But is this the essence that we possess as individual souls or is this an expected love connection? A forced connection, based upon societal templates. Many mothers are unable to feel the connection with their child throughout the early stages of their child’s life.

Then we come to the love connection with the paternal father, who in some cases, has been deprived of the connection with his child for whatever reason. Does the love connection exist between the paternal father and child or not? Is there a societal expectation of love between a child and the parents? In most cultures there is, and in these cases, it is an expectation.

Therefore it is apparent the essence of love is completely distorted from the moment we are born, and our own experiences soon shatter what is supposed to be that amazing wonderful essence of love. The beginning is the end, and we should take the time to reflect on our own life experiences and sensations to explore love in more detail.

If a child suffers at the hands of another person, for example in an abusive family home, a place where the child is supposed to be “loved” and “taken care of”, and the image of love is distorted and twisted. The psyche begins to form a complex database of information for future uses, and already the brain carries a fragile understanding of terminologies such as “care” and “love”. If the family environment continues in this manner, over a period of time, one can begin to imagine the state of a growing child’s mind.

The same can be said of a child who is constantly surrounded by “love”, in the form of being spoiled, or constantly given materialistic things. This child’s mind will create the illusion that this is how love is or should be, and this pattern will continue throughout life. These value based ideals are embedded in the psyche, and this leads to demands, expectations, and so many other dysfunctional patterns we see in society today.

So as we progress through life the very thing that we are searching is in some way based on everyone else’s opinion or experience. Even in a commercial way, we are inundated with special days, events or occasions where the giving of a gift is expected. Valentine’s Day is a classic example of this. When one realises the commercial value of this day of love, we should consider for whose benefit the day has been created. Every day we are here, is a day for caring as well as sharing love. We should practice this more often, by simply saying hello to a complete stranger, or giving a colleague a hug at work. We do not need a reason to share love, it is our pure essence and reason for incarnating on this planet.

There are some very good examples from history whose sole purpose was to teach about love and living without attachment. Teachers such as Jesus, Buddha, Plato, Socrates and many others whose writings have stood the test of time. When the teachings are examined in their correct context, we can discover their true message. Religion has in some way found a way to take advantage of the teachings, and rely on them as a form of control. Love has no such purpose in this context, it is no wonder that society is so confused or misguided. It is important for us to take things back to basics, to remove the illusions and veils, and truly get to the core of ourselves.

Unfortunately, many spend most of their lives in search of the love of their life. The love which is defined by others experiences and expectations, that results in pain, suffering and a sad ending. As we progress through life, eventually a series of events will “force” us to take a long hard look at who we are. The majority of the population believes that love is something external, typically in the form of another person or situation.

The reality is, that love begins with ourselves first and foremost because we are love in its’ purest form. Let’s commence the beginning of the end, and rejuvenate the essence of pure love. We are all love, we all have the ability and power to discover the love that we are, only then we can begin to attract the love of others into our lives.

Allow your own journey back to One to begin; to truly experience the love that you are. Love is undefinable, unquantifiable and unconditional – Love Is Love!

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