Diary of a Gay Anxious Businessman

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Summary

Tom now find himself thrust back to Leeds heartbroken but he doesnt stay long and belongs back in Middlesbrough. The anxiety attacks continue and he has a new sense of business acumen.

Genre:
Other
Author:
Tom Peter Gallagher
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
7
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
16+

Prologue

November 2016

The day extasy books gave me a contract to write diaries until I die we all signed a silent agreement. As long as it’s good enough they will publish, I will write everyday and hopefully you will read it until you get bored and have finally had enough. Apologises it wasn’t my fault I kept my end of the bargain and wrote everyday but thanks to a scruffy cunt called Nathan my new flatmate my laptop was stolen and 3 months of my life was lost forever. I have to take responsibility too for being ultra stupid and forgetting to backup the book and not knowing you can install tracking software on a laptop so it is condemned forever in cyber oblivion / cyber hell. I must piece together pieces as best I can and give you a brief overview of the lost 3 months. November consisted of giving up in Middlesbrough living in that hellhole alone with no company except anxiety with bills mounting up and daily anxiety attacks. I gave up and no one would move in so I couldn’t afford rent and bills so packed up and went home to Leeds to live with parents yet a-fucking-gain. The relationships were strained as mistakenly I saw Outlaw as a Narcissist that was only my friend for money, beer and using me. The months that passed I saw the error of my ways and we went back to being loyal friends and although sometimes I do feel anxiety near him as I love him as a BFF and even more that I would a relationship with him I cope with it and we can remain on a close friendly basis. Jason one of the gaybours friends did offer me a lifeline to stay. He said he would put his name on the housing benefit so I could pay rent but only stay the odd day a week. It didn’t sort out the problems of the mounting bills or the loneliness or anxiety and depression and Dad was already scheduled to pick me up in a few hours so I declined. Martin and Dwayne the gaybours came round and cleaned up and helped me pack then they agreed to keep all my house hold goods to sell. It was bad for the first time ever I owned a house full of furniture that was mine to keep and I had to surrender it. Dad was late and got on well with the gaybours and we went back to leeds. Very soon mum was doing my head in talking crap about cleaning shoe laces, having a shave or the usual pointless mindless little things that I try not to worry about. I felt lonely and depressed and as a good best friend Matt was on chat saying “will you come back sometime?” I was discussing with Shae and he thought it was better I start a new life in Leeds but I couldn’t cut off total ties to Middlesbrough all my friends are there and no Kevin Hudson deleted me from Facebook and I alienated everyone in Leeds there are no friends left here. It was Tuesday and there was money in the bank now I didn’t have to worry about rent and bills so on the 1st November the day I came home I went out to an LGBT group and met people about the same age and we got on well. I have nothing now and no business so thought about selling tobacco and an old lesbian said she would set me up with a supplier when she got home so I thought about setting up a new business. Tuesday in Leeds is Connie May’s karaoke so I said on Facebook I would come torment her after group. I went and she was as rude as always saying didn’t take you long to come back to the viaduct my Leeds pub second home. I met a drunken bird and there was an awesome cool guy who was a great singer and we chatted and got on and added each other on Facebook. I put in a song request but missed it and Josh doyle an old friend of Kevin and Richards was in so we all caught up and chatted and I felt good to be back. I went home about 1 am and it was a good positive start and I was hopeful about the future.

The old lesbian from group never did contact me about the tobacco supplier so I thought about the tobacco shop in Middlesbrough that supplies good Amber Leaf for £4. The market value should be £10 in Leeds so advertised on Facebook I was going to become a tobacco man. Andrew Goode my oldest and first best friend from school was supportive and thought it a good idea so we spoke about setting up a business. I do the tobacco run from Middlesbrough and he shifts it in Leeds and we go 50/50. I made plans with Martin to get in with the Tobacco shop and booked a ticket to return to Middlesbrough and meet up with my friends. I had hope and a new business and was keen to move out of parents ASAP. I put up adverts looking for shared, cheap accommodation in leeds that would allow housing benefit, DLA and a cheap deposit. No one met all the criteria with cheap deposit so I took an easy calculated risk and on November the 7th at the last minute I saw Hilary Clinton was a sure thing for next American president so gambled all my DLA and the last of my money on her winning. She was clear favourite and I stayed up drinking happy all night then went to bed about 3 am. I woke up the next day to taunts from dad saying “oh its a sure thing, you can’t lose, well guess what Donald Trump won”. I was sick as a parrot and broke and feared about the future as Donald Trump being president is as bad as Brexit taking place. I had my ESA so took what little money I had and did a tobacco run and got anxious seeing friends in Lloyds but it was good I got to see them and they haven’t forgot about me. I bought 25 bags of tobacco, originally it was going to be 100 and Andrew Goode was confident if it was good we would have a high supply rate going on and a successful supply line. We had a bad week and as per usual the business went tits up with the tobacco only worth £4 in Leeds and no market. I got very anxious and suicidal and Shae the Bastard was employed to edit the first diary to give to Extasy’s editor to get published. He was a prick as per usual did fuck all and on a day I had given up just wanted the diary finished so I could kill myself and leave a legacy Shae decided he was suicidal too and gave up on everyone so said take care. The bastard wouldn’t even return the diary and for £25 upfront had done fuck all as per usual. I did it myself in two days and fought back. I tried ebay and always failed so thought I would give it one more go and researched and bashed me head for a week, suffered trolls on the forum and contacted support a million times thinking how I could make money from nothing. I bought a few guides on dropshipping and selling information and setup a dropshipping business. It was shite, no sales and it would never work as I was competing with other dropshippers who were cheaper so was a waste of time for a week so I went back to information. Selling information on ebay is a winner. You obtain the information once and sell it time and time again until it is out of date. I had all the mined data and email lists so setup ebay listings and looked for further information. I had a lot and thought of the stuff you can get for free that people don’t know about and began to sell that. I found a lot of free sites offering expensive goods for free and listed all that. I had a good run for a couple of days but it was hell. I had a toothbrush competition to win a toothbrush for £280 but dealing with members of the public, consumers you must realise they are all thick as pig shit. The toothbrush sold lots of times for the competition and it was ultra mega clear in huge bold letters it was a competition not a free toothbrush but everyone thought they were getting a £280 toothbrush for circa £15 or under. I had a few problems like this until the freebies ran out but it was a nice little earner for a while.

I wasn’t getting anywhere in Leeds, No new friends, I went to the gay group the following week and was stood up in fibre, no adverts, no warnings just something was on so only two people turned up late. It wasn’t working and Mum and dad had decided they were selling up and moving to Newcastle to be near my sister and Kyle my nephew so if I don’t find somewhere to live soon I will be stuffed. I found a house in Middlesbrough that didn’t require a deposit and was affordable rent so made enquiries. The landlady seemed cool and happy to negotiate she just wanted ideal tenants. I booked a megabus to see two houses with a similar deal and had a day of hell. The bus was 2 hours late and I complained to be told I can get a refund but lose the ticket, or wait then complain after and get a refund. I waited and didn’t have time to see both houses and friends in Lloyds so went to Wicklow street and met Raheel the estate again. I was in a hurry, the house was nice, the rent was high but affordable and he was pushy saying the rooms will go fast so I agreed to take one then the shit began. Now unlike the landlady he wanted £200 deposit and a credit check which I knew I would fail, all my debts were mounting up at my old address and I had got defaults now so he wanted a guarantor with them getting a credit check. I phoned dad and as per usual he was awesome saying he can lend deposit and be a guarantor. Raheel liked me and respected my age at 37 so agreed to give me a chance. I was happy to agree then went to Lloyds to see friends. It was awesome to see them and we had a good catch-up and a laugh and as per usual I got a special tight Outlaw magic hug. I left for the megabus home and went out to the viaduct on a Thursday. I was alone as per usual but a a hot guy chatted to me and we got on for a bit but he was megadrunk and wouldn’t shut up singing badly then he attracted the eye of a young hot guy who chatted to me to get to him. It was off, I fancied them both at first and they were both chatting me up I think then I lost them both as they kissed each other. The hot older guy had work at 7 am so left when the viaduct closed and the hot young guy was a financial manager and we connected until we got to the new penny where he went off me so I just dancied alone then went home at 4 am feeling a little dejected by both guys.

I worked on ebay and it was very time consuming so I didn’t really go out and drink much. I thought since I was back in Leeds it would be nice to see family so I caught up a few times with Auntie Eileen and she was very frail. She has lost so much weight and needs a zimmer frame to walk but she seems content enough in a nice local nursing home.

A very dark time which always happens when I live with dad was the day he asked me to visit Conchetta my god mother. She is old and frail too and going blind, he said go now it will be the last chance to see her she will probably die soon. Dad was unreasonable as he is a lot of the times. He had an early doctors visit and he woke me up at the last minute and expected me to go with him even though I hadn’t brushed my teeth, washed my face, done any work or even had a coffee. I declined and said I will go with mum another day when I have time and he went ballistic saying I am nothing but a bum, a waster, a layabout, a cunt my brother Paul was right I am a scumbag. He didn;t talk to me for a few days until I had a soul destroying bad night out and came home to find went paint in the house and he finally forgave me and I said I would go by bus with mum the next day so he was ok again. The day came and he phoned to find Julie conchetta’s daughter said we are too busy so he thought fuck em and we never got a chance to say goodbye.

One day I was bored and hadn’t been out for ages and had a little money in the bank so decided to go to the viaduct. It was about 5 pm and it was Degsy’s daytime bingo. It is soul destroying, all the old gay men in Leeds playing bingo, no one appealing and you have to play in silence and can’t speak there is no music so I sacked it off and went to the sauna. Thanks to apps like grindr, sauna’s pretty much died a death with not many people using them as their once was. I went upstairs and found a guy being fucked in the sling by a pretty decent bearish top. He finished him off and I jumped in and he fucked me. I love getting fucked in the sling and it is exiting to have an audience. He was ok, attentive licking my feet whilst pounding me but the cock was only average so it was ok, better than nothing. I showered and got dressed and didn’t have much money left so got a Mcdonalds and went home. Little did I know that would be my last sexual experience for such a long time?

I carried on with ebay and we had so much grief agreeing to all the estate agents rules. I lost the forms they were stolen in the viaduct so I had to print off more. The library charges so I filled them in on computer and photographed back on my phone to be told at the last minute they were all wrong and they moaned it was unprofessional as I had pictures of my knees on them and nearly lost the house but Raheel was keen to help. We planned to move on the final Monday in November but with all the grief it was planned for the 1st of December. There were many hoops to jump through, much grief and I had to pay for a credit check as well but I finally managed to get in on December the first.

December

I moved back to Middlesbrough on the first of December after a nightmare time doing all the paperwork, credit checks and jumping through hoops to get the room. Nathan greeted me at the door a twink stud and he was awesome at first. He helped with bags and lent me a TV for my room. He was going to the gym and didn’t have a job and didn’t approve of me drinking in the house at first but it wasn’t long until he started joining me. The house rules are strict with no smoking in the house and I was afraid of getting evicted leaving dad my guarantor with a huge bill for the tennancy so I did smoke outside but Nathan being a cunt said “Fuck em, our house we will do what we want.” So it wasn’t long before both of us were smoking in the house. He was very masculine and straight acting so I was afraid to come out as gay but he was very cool with it saying he had a gay friend Jordan, it was that horrible tall camp queen who was nasty to me in the Lobby and he was a little bitchy when he came round. The first weekend I was home Nathan wanted to do cocaine so I paid for it and we got high and drunk. He then revealed he is a little bisexual and I sucked him off. Typical straight guy he was rough, abusive and dominant. He then exposed his ass wanting me to fuck him but I really wanted to get fucked so went to bed at 9 am. Raheel the bastard landlord came round the next day and told us off for making noise, he came round many times that month moaning about noise and mess and I exploded asking for 24 hours notice which we should have by law but he never repsected that. Nathan got arrested for sending death threats to his ex-girlfriend and I was very anxious I would lose him and he got released three days later. It was 3 days of hell living in a four bedroom house alone but he came back. Many times we got drunk and he would offer me drugs a lot but it was at stupid o clock like 5 am and the such so I turned it down. Everytime he took coke he couldn’t sleep and would pester me to fuck him but I never did and his cock was quite small. It was going well then Raheel said we had a boring guy move in Stuart who was quiet and needed looking after. When I saw him I didn’t think he was fit and a bit geeky but the first Saturday we were all here we all got smashed and they went on a drugs run. Matt came round and Stuart was so drunk he left Nathan stranded during the deal and got the taxi home leaving Nathan fuming. He came back and they had a big fight and Nathan smashed a chair on him. Me and Matt didn’t know what to do he just said leave them to it then they made up but Nathan gave Stuart the nickname “Silly-arse”. I started to get on with Stuart and he worked at tesco on shifts but didn’t get much regular work so we hung and chatted a lot. He was kind enough to sort out my media box getting me movies and TV and finding a load of lost hidden fanzine Star Trek’s to keep me busy. We all got on quite well at first and I went home for Christmas. Christmas day was good but I only had a box of chocolates to open so for Christmas I got fat. Boxing day was hell with a mad hangover and raging horn but nothing I could do at parents. I did chat to a cool guy on grindr for a few days while in Leeds but we never met and I lost him. I came home to find Nathan and Stuart had a boring Christmas then Nathan started being a cunt. The week before New Year I was getting loads of hot offers on grindr and scruffy cunt Nathan stole all my condoms and no more came in the post so I was really sexually frustrated. Stuart started hanging out with me and my mates going to the Oak and he would get totally smashed and turn all gay. It was a good month up until towards the end. For New Year’s Eve Dick Kelly invited me to his party as per usual and I met a cow, his ex an 18 year old bird who said I was older than her dad and was a right silly cow being nasty to Dick but the shots were flowing and I met Em and Jay a cool couple who supplied us with drugs so was a good night.

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maggiev8mv: I enjoyed book 1, book 2 freaking loved it. A tad predictable, but the writing style and storytelling skills made up for it. Thank you for sharing your story!!! Now Book 3!!

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