The starting point
Sometimes you stand in a crowd and just look at everyone. You are not just looking at them, you are wondering about them, their lives, their stories. You are wondering if they are going through the same stuff as you. Are you normal? Are they normal? What is normal really?
It is in those really big crowds that I sometimes feel alone. I feel that everybody else knows something that I don't. I constantly feel as if I am missing out on something. Then I start to wonder, does anybody feel like that too?
How do you know that you are making the right choices? How do you know that you won't regret the decisions you made in your twenties when you are in your thirties? Is there any way of knowing?
I know that I have a lot of questions. I know that I may never get the answers. I have made peace with not knowing all the answers. It is the uncertainty of life that gets to me.
My name is Amy Harris. I am a twenty-something student, artist, reader and nerd. Good meeting you!
I am in a very strange season of my life. I am supposed to be an adult, or rather becoming one. I am supposed to take responsibility and live up to society's standards. I am supposed to do many things, but for some reason I am kicking against the conventional way of doing things.
Society tells us to go to school, graduate, go to college, graduate, start to work. Then the race to find a life partner is on. Just be careful not to be on the shelf too long. By the time you are thirty and still single, your friends will most likely start to introduce you to every other single friend they have.
I started to kick against society's standards since I was young. When is was in high school, I did not attend any socials. I did not belong in a certain group. I had many friend though. Again, the were not conventional. They were characters in books. They kept me company. They understood me. They were there when no one talked to me at school because I did not wear label clothing. They were there when my parents had to work late. They were always there. They were there like nobody else was.
Well, I am at a stage in my life where I am introduced to different guys. Like every woman of my age, I look at the guy like possible marriage material. If he does not have all the ticks, he's gone.
Every time I meet a nice guy, my kicking skills kick in. I don't want to get married before I am thirty. I don't want to be that girl who gets married right out of college. I don't want to be the girl who starts to work, gets married, have children, have grand children. I want to live. I want to have adventures. I want to do something with my live. I also want to be extraordinary like the characters in every book that I read. I want to trade places with them.
I am Amy Harris and this is my story.
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