You see a man with a prison record can’t be a doctor it is a fact it is very much a fact. There is nothing that anyone of us could have done she had them.
Their forged documents one thing but an actual valuable necklace another thing everyone does a bit of forgery but the damn necklace that was solid evidence.
“There was a slight turbulence and the plane did not get until night fall when the two brothers had a fight over things and they then had to get very matey as the police called round or something.
“Just collecting my child benefit all of it in one goes. She’s been on a holiday and we did not make her very comfortable.”
“I did not get any child benefit from you but the other two nine pounds I got. Here in this damn book every week.”
“Child benefit they pay for themselves.”
“The child benefits do you take home more than anyone else and how many children do you have? None I had taken the siblings benefit money in order to survive the windswept winds and the hurricanes in the snow and all that foot walking if there is anyone else who can walk like that with no cups of tea is my mug. I take them in writ it is every week nine pounds it is god send.”
“Oh to make a lot of money from them children I want more of them.”
“No mum you will only hurt yourself not now.”
“Do not tell me what to do.”
“I want must have another two at least these are growing so I must have more children.”
“There has to be an increase in the splendid spending sprees of expenses.”
“On our children’s lives we get the child benefits.”
“Yes on child care why they must be fed and watered the things which will make my job easier having this kind of money and of course you will look after these as well as the last ones won’t you my dear you with your loving arms?”
“If your grand ma gives her approval it will work.”
“But ma it is impossible to do such a thing.”
“It is never too late I am only forty two.”
“Grandma said no ma.”
“She did not know how Virgil and young I am still.”
“Child benefit will ease my path in life.”
“Child benefit is the only true course in life.”
“It is the only path open to me after being rejected by them social security person for losing my leg.”
“Look ma we can try again.”
“It is too traumatic.”
“Then I will work.”
“Good for nothing?”
She agreed to work for nothing for me her mother after all that I did for her it is nothing but sense is it not...
“Ma please help me please don’t torture me I am not someone in a film I am your daughter please let me live like a living person please it is me your child.”
“Don’t you go and rest now there is a lot to be done.”
“Yes sis you are now the great employed.” Said B. “My maid you will be.”
“Fucking bitch they are all fucking with me they are all having this show of hands about me what did I do wrong but love them and try to keep the family together what did I do?”
“You said what sis?”
“Nothing” I must not look malicious nor rotten I must not behave improperly I must be good at all times.
I am reading Jane Austen and that is what she said to get a man that is what one has to be good and kind and gentle but it is not working is it?
Well the thing is when one was young the thinking is hard to come by the feelings are strong but the thinking is harder to do and everything one cannot explain it is as if the failure of oneself to see refuses to communicate to the other person and I went into some long road of nothing doing that is not me I am not a servant I am not a slave this is not I. The thing was once a servant always a servant and what did it mean but that I am a former slave does it satisfy anyone for me to say that? Does it make them plumper or thinner does it make you all proud to know that a half educated woman who had the wiles could do such a thing to all those great and grand schemes of protection and protecting and that the half lax rules bend like doubles masks the inroads to disaster which is the new society of medicated hog washed individuals who do not know what they are going through because it is not in the system. It cannot happen because we are all very nice people and we are being fed constant information and what does it mean how can a half wit like that out wit me?
“Yes they are on the plane.”
The same plane going nowhere and out.
“Well is that happy- Happy?”
“Because they matter and I do not I never mattered to these people.”
“They are united by their black schemes and their scheming manners are the shame of this class of first class degrees who see nothing matters but that it is logged in and when there is no literature it does not happen it does not exist.”
But it does exist before it happens that is when it gets documented does not it? But the thing was it did not exist then so it never happened this is known as catch 22.
“Whatever next meaningless drivel you are driving us into an early grave”
“I have eaten liver for six months you know I am so disgusted I can’t eat anymore leave me alone.”
“We are finding a husband for you.”
“Who can work it work it.”
“No need I am a servant already don’t need a husband.”
“This is even closer aunt than the last one.”
“Well you might find a husband that is the decent thing to do is it not?”
“I thought they all wanted to marry me?”
“Well... It might make it easier to do.”
“A girl who refuses to marry is on the shelf no matter how many refusals she does.”
“Why is auntie unable to do anything?”
“Well her husband wants extra help?”
“With what shall we tempt you this time?”
I think about this mathematics not my thing. I look into the matter. They all mad to think me mathematically inclined. What the thing to do is humour them when they out of sorts. I tip toe about the place there is a man with a laundry business a millionaire he wants to marry you? Oh how decent that is. He was happy when with mummy why that means very unlikely that he will be bored or boring we must never be bored or boring. To daddy that is why mummy became a whore she had to fascinate him adding to their marriage but when daddy cried mum was so sad but she did not know what it meant to dad to behave and become good all the time and now mummy was never to be good ever again.
“I leave you to sort it out.” Said Ati but that meant not married yet? Yes they come into my mind drift and come back again and never behaving as if shadows of this disaster which took hold of me and my soul not letting me go as if my heart would render me unconscious that daddy did that without realising that he had because he did not explain himself fully to mummy because he over worked or something and mummy had not ever had a mother so she did not know that to sleep round meant that she now beyond redemption a whore.
“Well mummy now can’t come home anymore?”
“No way she shall stay and rot in hell where she belongs.”
“Mummy you bad mummy why did not you stay indoors and not copulate” I struck my doll very naughty thing with ringlets and all that hair began to tear it asunder.
“Well I am learning to do the laundry business to catch up on the sorts of things a wife should deal with.”
“There the laundry is done why they so happily employed.”
“We missed you a minute ago we thought to ask what a good girl you are.”
“Unhappily so I am a good girl is I not?”
“Well you know he looks just like a romantic hero from Mills and Boons I mean whatever did it mean?”
“I sort of think of him away all day on his away day? Well he not here at the moment.”
“I have been proposed to by two men in the same day and I am leaving home to enjoy the splendid outside as indoors not the place to be right now. The wrong one kissed me the other saw did not mind in fact made him beastly glad. What it is I do not know must go some place to think things over?”
“I must seek some sort of solace in the solitudes of the soul and make my soul a less bitter place to be.”
“I was nearly raped by the man who I liked why he did this to me. I am concussed. Banged my head and we did not say another word. This is madness. This is pure hell. I walk with my head in concussions. That is because love is surrender and I have surrendered to him but he went and wept with someone else. What a disaster she better looking with the right family and the right words. I weep. The failure of communication that is what it was the failure of the damned talk.
“Speak to me why speech talks to me why?”
The other girl was a literary person and did the right speech.