The maid

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Chapter 14

I always thought that zombies lived in illusions in this other make believe world called the television when it got to me which everyone said I walked like a zombie did not feel pain anymore and went about doing the jobs without complaining despite having varicose veins despite it all. Yes walking and standing without any pain when today now the very standing thing is a traumatic experience when one goes on holiday one learns so much from the relatives and mummy learnt or taught them such a lot. I think having formerly in her former life being a nurse she had learnt the art of zombies and this is the pen result the bravo point that mummy had the artfulness of being the artful dodger. A woman doing this to all she loved to make the work to go. Oh the happiness not to feel any sentiment at all.

Can flesh and blood bear it? It has turned to indifference both sides have suffered too much too many blood transfusions and arguments until humanity left their house and in came rage this bloody blind rage.

“She has just had the blood transfusions.” said her ma.

I am someone else now take me instead but nothing remains now because the day has changed into night and the animals are howling at the gates what manner of writing is this when the animal inside of me is now caged and no longer allowed freedom to roam?

“I met someone else it is practically the same. Take the bloody paintings it is worthless now I need the space.”

“I have not gamed away my fortunes.” He said kinder sadly, “I did nothing wrong but try and do the same for me.”

“He gamed away my soul I am feeling self destructive today.”

“You are no toady?”!

“I toe the line.”

“My direct line will be extinct.”

“You are in extremities of pain.”

“My living space is out to make room for someone younger.”

“I went every day to do so and it is still there.”

“I feel a sense of doom that one day I shall be thrown out of my house in order that someone else who has no claim must be moved in.”

“Why do you feel such a thing?”

“It is well assumed.”

“When life is a mixture of space and spaciousness with empty hearts like an empty head.”

“Cruelty is a word for the worst offences”

“Is not woman but indifference to her plight like some unkind God telling the winds to get lost?”

“When a wife was never a wife when told her breath was BO.”

“They are all wife swapping.”

“Well they get bored.”

“To make matters worse their father is now a women hater.”

“He wants you out of the family into a home or in a hospital.”

“His hatred is understandable.”

“I am unhappily not suited to his purpose and he has come down as a fool.”

“So what are you going to do?”

“Nothing let nature take its cause.”

“The door was knocked down and the feeling is shattered. He has come.”

“Who has come?”

“The Indian without the takeaway takes me out?”

“My door was open he has got in how did he get in?”

“Two Indian men blocky and tall with their unassuming quietness come into my room without their deliveries of curries that is my rivals’ men. I am in the semi nude asleep or half awake.”

“How does he get in how does he get inside the house when I am not here he looks at my paintings and makes himself at home he has been in here?”

“You should not have become a better painter than I am.”

“I should not have painted better than you.”

“No one does.”

“Oh come on it is not as good as all that?” I am so pleased.

“So you are going to kill me because I am a better painter than you are?”

“Look the Indians are not after your delightful paintings.”

“What?”

“What they after then?”

“The thing is a whore house next street has a vacancy.”

“Of course and they need new painters?”

“But you are not are you?”

“It depends.”

“You mean I am a better painter or that you are not going to kill me?”

“It is not right that you should know this. You know one does not tell what one means to do to one who has violated the trusts of the intimates.”

“Look just tells me what is it you want of me?”

“Nothing just does anything no more.”

“I am doing so?”

“Just be a normal Sunday painter painting from camera work then we know you are nothing but a sham.”

“Alright I will do so.”

“Look thank you I am so grateful.”

“I am leaving you now and take care.”

Penis suckers are the fools which are the violations of being this gay. Well it is normal to make love is it not? Of course he kicked the fuss and out he went one more painting disappointedly had this rapturous welcome with the door or something and off it went to the burning flames.

I am now painting from photos and this means nothing is broken and nothing is damaged and I breathe steadily into paintings which matter. I am able to do and think and be myself with a steady boy and we groom and lay ourselves. He has now gone away. I am sadden to think he does and have gone but carry on and continue without too much but sadness and good feelings which matter.

I had this attack as we walked in the steam way and the feeling is now old and aged decrepit and without the heart to continue and the same thing is when rested and rested the thugs go away. I am now lived experienced and not alone as friends say love. Love- is but Love and I smile. I am loved by the world as they cheer crowing the joys of the enjoyments as the applause comes in droves.

Old Man River keeps on coming old man river keeps on coming along. Old man river keeps on coming the urinal is not high enough. The old urinal not high enough the old man river keeps on coming the urinal keeps on going lower. Old Man River keeps on coming the urinal keeps on getting away. I am doing my hair and the urinal is moving while I am talking to taxing officers which we had made the old man figure of fun and games has taken the dodge and the living nightmares have become the old guys who got them girls then complained they too cute and not into women with the dude looks. Beautiful women do not take our fancy we do not care for the beautiful things? Well that is sorted then we may get them wedding bells on?

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