The maid

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Chapter 5

Any other way is foolish. We entertain in society the clothes with the means to look for holidays and make the world this place which is house and family and standards of living. Making the workloads in the kitchens with the handy wife and the hands on the wheel and make this work is that we are not heroes. We are normal people who do what we are paid to do.”

“Heroism is for the movies in this world the word is boss and that is housed and sheltered and in the house that means a wife and babes adding to the work and making it alright. That is what it is what we need is not words but money.”

“Nobody makes anything good without money?”

“Of course not any pay no deals whatever next without money the words are lost in lost complaints files the thing is when one does not have the money nobody listens to you at all.”

“Whatever is next?”

“Of course not the money begets money there is no other way.”

“Who has heard one who has made money when he or she poor?”

“Why they are outside in the streets begging and there is nobody caring for a person who has nothing at all. No money nothing at all without money there is anything. No art. No literature evens any life. Nothing in this house makes me happy anymore but this making it alone without comforts without friends and left to rot and alone. How long for when I have something that is kind?”

The marriage between us is over. I am certain it is I have been typecast as the girl who will get it and I am now giving it. The cousin who came and murdered two people in the car, he seemed so familiar and the blonde woman who was with him she appealed to me as the cousin described to us and she did appeal to my taste buds.

The perfect murders in my family what a thing to do and they come and come again to take from us the good the wives of the woman who made them so cool. The thing to do in the good Cyprus is to be law abiding but they into Mafias the good cousin has someone to mind him his daughter has married a man who has influences in the hospital so can get his Leukaemia fixed is not the good the good things come to them who waste don’t it?

The stomach cancer won’t go away I have had not my cancer medicine if I give you the money to get out of the house. The daughter is in Karenina enjoying herself the school has shut down we make ends meet the girls are having funny turns the terms of this is we murder and we lay our foundations at the same time with the blessing of the governments? Oh yes we married them dear. We give them what we do not need our virtues and then we make them happy.

“Look your uncle is outside he is distressed poor thing.”

“Why what does he want?”

“He wants to wet your bed my darling.”

“Oh doesn’t he like yours.”

“Look I am an important man I was an official and now this and now this?”

“Look let me rearrange things dear?”

“What the curtains or the furniture?”

“We will start with the soft furnishings?”

“Why that is not how we had it and want it the room looks smaller.”

“We do adore you.”

“I adore you too auntie.”

“I like to come and stay here over night with your uncle.”


“My God the rooms are too small I am sweating I can’t live here.”

“What is the matter with you dear?”

“I must rush to Cyprus.”

“Why are you auntie- leaving us and not staying over in our house?”

“This fool of a husband has been upset by something.”

“What an idea?”

“Why my sisters have made me married to my mum and they think it is funny?”

“My mother and I now a couple are you all mad?”

Sniggering is bad for you all. It is awful is it not is it some drugged induced world with the ones who are in power so much mad? Look my poems are worth twenty five pounds my plays are worth twenty five dollars is that an effort or an affront? Why honey you are not as talented a poet as you are a playwright that is why you are getting less. Said the maddening bitch on heat that was that? It is his former wife who is the permanent one and he and she shared a grand passion together.

“Yes they had their friends destroy my flat shares and this and that you know when girls have this and that without any conscience well their ways and means can be dodgy too?”

You are so dodgy?

It is sods law is it not when a man and a woman do not carry one’s own sexuality together another comes along and carts him off?

“Without love nothing but this mockery”

“He in love okay.”

“He very much in loves her into richer and richer.”

Curious how much she says about the human relationships is it not? Look there is nothing curious about being mad and berating the other parties because they took your life and made you into a shell of a human.

“I love you all.”

“Someday I will improve as a writer and make my way in life.”

“Love dies which dines alone.”

“I have dined alone most of my life and I can vouch for that.”

“Did you go on that honeymoon with him and star at the stars with him and hold onto him until him a part of you?”

“Honey there is nothing the matter with that I am bad and balding there is everything the matter with staring at the moon which is disappearing and I am not appearing at all the universe has changed the angels have changed but we are still having this row.”

“Look the honey does not say that we are not aging?”

“We are older than fifty my love.” She said to her ex rival.

“But now what has happened?”

“He is mine.”

“All mine.”

“It is all yours?”


“Well Z had the means and came ate me out of dinner and then the friends did the drugs and the dealers and into all that ill humours. You see she came took my dinner and went home so she could have a nice time away I had to semi starve and was fired for eating a lot at work. You see Z ate and they sacked me.”

“Well they into this and that why they are such wags.” Said mother fondly she encourages Z in this as a way of making her a brighter person. She is so popular hugely at home we have placed her where her heart is so she does not come often. Yes she does I know she does but she would have been more frequent visitor if she was not happy. Her happiness is such she got married by mistake a misunderstanding that is all her husband is now the unhappiest man alive.

Her husband she makes happy in bed. Of course my dear it is a good thing too that you are happily sorted in bed. The diffidence I feel is that there is nothing that makes me fonder of you than seeing how vulgar you are.

“Me vulgar I am a graduate?”

“It is understandable that people think that graduates are never vulgar they are mere humans in their true form and my dear you are vulgarity itself.”

“Look rudeness first thing in the morning?”

“It is I am truthful to the point of bluntness there is nothing of interest in you but money and sex.”

“From my children I got the death wish.”

“True you are a better mother than you are a sister.”

“Sisterhood is such I never meant to become so vain and conceited.”

“But dear the thing is mother encourages you in all this a noose round your neck one of these days because you might commit a murder and hope nobody notices it.”

“Indeed nobody would.”

“It it s autocratic state and the reason is we do not behave well in it but when it comes to murder we do not care to even murder me dear.”

“You have no one you are a mere anything you are a maid’s daughter.”

“A maid who married my father a maid who was adopted daughter of that woman my grandmother a maid who was family.”

“She signed away all her claims to the estate?”

“Yes she did.”

“It is a baffling circumstance why she does that?”

“She did not care anymore. They took it out on her she did not care anymore she was no longer that woman who vowed to change and become a part of social whirl and she disintegrated into something less and the more she took the less she became.”

“She took?”

“Yes she was addicted to parties and hen parties in particular.”

“So back to your situation about this murder you are planning?” I asked Z in an interested manner and who did she plan on robbing and making dead carcase? I wondered who she wanted to kill.

“But you are dying every day are you not?”

“I am not dying every day we are all dying every single moment of each day as we are going forward we are reaching our end.”

“Indeed their humours are not ill founded?”

“Why you know they not into work and no play then no one wanted to work in the cafe and they had all them connections which meant they had the life saving options of me doing the work they taking the pay check and mum being married to me.”

“You see Barbara had the hangover she played music all night with the moans then she took the shopping took everything from me and then my bus pass was gone. The throat infection the anaemia the things that went wrong me so ill.

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