Diary of a Problem

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Other / Poetry
J. F. David
Work in progress
Age Rating:


Someone pushed the play button in my head and Mad World by Gary Jules started playing inside my skull.

I’m sitting on the subway and the guy standing next to me has a semi-fresh scar on his wrist; of course, I start debating if it was an accident when I notice some already white scars behind and next to the new one, reading ‘KILL ME’. It’s a sign. Today is going to be a deadly day.

Work is hectic, I only avoid a mental breakdown because I’m too busy having one. Waiting is a loaded gun pointed to my face; I pace up and down on the corridor when I see it, a small yellow star shaped sticker with a smiley face. I’m gonna live through this day.

Die, live. Die, live. Live, die, live. Live die. Die, die. In and out, one thing tells me good news, the other bad ones.

It’s 18:18, I make a wish. I keep it a secret so it may come true. It’s not a huge thing, not even as selfish as I usually am. Hope lingers and turns bitter as a voice in my head whispers: you don’t deserve it.

I light a cigarette. I was quitting it when the stressful days came and suddenly I’m smoking a pack in two days. Grey smoke fills the room, I open a window, but it’s too bright outside. Solution, putting on shaded glasses black like the hole where my soul should be.

I have to go. A ten minutes break is over, went by feeling like a whole week and it’s only Thursday. There is more work to be done and there’s more apathy to experience. In the meantime I keep looking for guidance.

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maria: OMG it was a amazing novel to read I love 💕 it 🌟❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖

Divine Ish: A feel good forbidden love story. Thank you for sharing your talent. Hopeful for more novels 😊😊

Talia Tucker: I love this book. It's amazing. Their daughter is so cute. I hope my daughter will be as cute as her in the future. Love the romance.

ForReading: Things between Gray and "the girl that name i do not remember" are moving pretty fast. For what I nyt myself would liked more is first teasing each other and maybe some sexual stuff on school and ofcouse there should been some jealous at least from Gray to Josh!

Laila Mughal: the store is amazing it has all four emotions happy,sad,mad,and when they felt done which i believe is good for a realistic fiction and like the end its sad and mad at the same time witch i love so overall i love this store

Michelle Ogden: It's not going to go well with her cousin please update soon

pato suarez: Lo !ejor del !info este libro, lo ameeeeee

ForReading: Well now i have had read this to the ens it is now and i really hope that this story is gonna update SOOOOOON!!! I wanna know what will happen with Sasha and Brandon?!!!!

Hey its me geline: Book 2 please. I'm in a deep thought on how the story will end.

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Nanny Garduno: I loved this book youa are very talented you need to keep writing plz this was my favorite out of all of them

rellerton: Nice little story, I love the characters. Story has good pacing, keeping me interested. Not too dramatic. Really enjoyed it. A good read!

Lovatic Music: This book is great is keeps me on edge. Makes my heart swell with happiness and sadness at the same time! I love it!! Totally recommended!!

Tiffany Yeomans: Fantastic read so far!! I am so loving Ivy's character!! She kicks ass!!

highsheri: This was a interesting short story. It kept my attention throughout the book. I read it in one sitting. I enjoyed the author writing style and look forward to reading more of them. Thank you for sharing your words with me.:)

camillenoeldoug: I love this!!! What happens next? What happened to Jaxon and Amber? Does he like her surprise she bought for herself? Are they able to stabalize her nutrient loss? Does she make it safely through the pregnancy and delivery? Why did her dad disown her? Was it because of the cancer? Will she and he...

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