DIARY of a 99%-er: The Struggle Between Survival and Creative Expression

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January 23

Faith is almost the bottom line of creativity; it requires a leap of faith any time we undertake a creative endeavor, whether this is going to the easel, or the page, or onto the stage - or for that matter, in a homelier way, picking out the right fabric for the kitchen curtains, which is also a creative act.– Julia Cameron


In nine days, Simon and I need to decide what we are doing about our living situation, as our lease will finally be up soon. Our intention has been to give notice at the end of January and decide where we’ll move, based on any income opportunities that avail themselves to us. So far, we’re still waiting.

I’ve applied to tons of writing/editing/PR jobs and heard bupkus back. Simon’s applied like crazy too. More bupkus. We have an abundance of bupkus.

I cannot believe that it’s so challenging to get a job in either public relations, advertising or restaurants. PR and advertising are tough, even with all my writing and editing experience – which almost every one of these jobs lists as requirements. Yet, it’s the same ole’ catch-22 – these companies will only give the time of day to people who have been working in these respective industries for the past few years. So, unless you decide to go right into PR or advertising after college and never leave, it’s almost impossible to get hired at an agency.

And, restaurants – you can’t believe how difficult it is to be hired, even as a cocktail waitress. These are some of the responses I’ve gotten: 1) you have to work as a regular waitress first and work your way up and into the cocktail area; 2) we won’t hire you – as either a cocktail waitress or a regular waitress because you don’t have recent waitressing experience. I haven’t even been able to get a job as a hostess for the same reasons! Oy vey!

So, even when the desire to work for others is there, the opportunity doesn’t always follow.

So, based on all of the above, we’ll probably push it til Feb. 4 – the last day possible to pay our rent – to give notice.

On a positive note, our bird feeder has finally attracted some birds. It had been outside for a few weeks and not one bird had deigned to stop by and check it out. Maybe the hummingbirds scared them away. Then, in the past few days we got some rain, and some birds must have re-oriented their nest, as we now have some hungry birds pecking at our bird feeder a few times a day. Nice!

For me, it is another lesson in patience, which is sorely needed right now. It is so inspiring to see both hummingbirds and birds nipping at our feeders. I look at this scenario through the lens of, “We are so abundant and prosperous that we are now providing sustenance for other creatures.”

I’ve been trying to keep busy this week with plenty of physical activity – cardio and intense-flow yoga, which keep my restless mind at bay and help alleviate my impatience. I also start reading The Prosperous Heart by Julia Cameron to stay grounded in my thoughts on prosperity. I am curious to see what unfolds in the next week and where the Universe will guide us. In my yoga practice tonight, in honor of all the birds and to feel more calm and grounded, I ease into pigeon pose, fold forward and hang out there for a while. Feels so good to bow to the earth and surrender.


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