Someone always knocking on the door

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Chapter 10

Sooty face is out and not here and there is no possibility he will come back to me.

Politeness is not respect because one does not say one thing very politely and go off and marry someone else and swear that your secretive nature will be not found out. When she became so beautiful he went for it and he went for it and he went for it. Now he weeps for the lost years with me does he never him he is the best man he is the best of husband’s but he will never be anything but a gambling man and if he does not shut down he will be lost not found. So there he is in front of his computer praying something good might happen and to my unhappiness there is nothing I can say to him anymore but let us go and be happy elsewhere because I am done with this place I am done with nothing. But he said he has found the true God of himself and does not want to move even going on holiday is bad for him.

She has gone out of action. What has she hurt herself? No it is hell it is hell. What is the matter with them? Never seem to understand them beasts are worse than anyone. We think we are less than able to understand what has happened to unhappiness uncle? Uncle is not behaving well why he has taken to phoning and asking if we alright or okay, why is he worried about something?

That a man like that has gone out of fashion so into designing hussies and making a fool of himself that he does not understand that sometimes a woman like myself wants something to besides hospital treatment and injections and therapy. That he thinks only of himself and his wife as having the basic rights to holidays and all that sort of thing and he thinks myself only needs treatment because for some reason I need hand therapy and psychiatry and all that sort of thing because for the past for five years did not go on a holiday with anything or anyone and I am sick and tired of it all.

The thing is when a man takes the other woman on the holiday which makes that woman his legal shag and never takes me out the door on my own I can go wonderfully with his wife following me round the bend and round and round but on my own. Then with him I am not even going to go on a holiday or even to the resort or even to somewhere called he said we both have freedom passes let us do a journey which you dislike on your own.

“How interesting that would be just the two of us on the bus and you and me being chased by them women with your wife.”

Interesting that would be for a sex addict I think? Or a Sado-Masochist which he is?

I wonder if he should have more of Omah or some more whiskey and a bottle of scotch on his dearly beloved hide?

But I know just the place we would end up in.

“Would dislike it if she turned up in a whore house my dear.”

“Why should we?”

“Men are the damned beasts.”

“Women chasing me round well the thing are sometimes it is a bit too much but the men are loving it too.”

“It is the damn thing.”

“Like what?”

“This is a bird of prey.”

“But a unlucky man.”

“He missed his calling he should have been a marriage clerk.”

“No he would never make that sort of thing legal. It would make him unwell to do such a thing a man must have a chance then he can be a bearer of the tombstone the book which states plain as plain we are never done unless it is cooked.”

“It is startling is it not him in such a disgrace what is happiness?”

“Leave the family alone.”

“Their increasing happiness brought expenditures.”

“He has not sold himself to pay for his expenses?”

“No way did he do such a thing.”

“Well it won’t fetch him anything.”

Where is the bus going and who is getting in and out of it? Well of all the damn things which are beasts in the ozone layer there are more beasts than we know it.

“This is a Human?”

“He has found a rug.”

Sitting on committees and is established and has establishments up to his ears. Officer and works authority write on his face he does not live by his hand he is a mind worker. He breaks minds. His way of playing chess is to break the mind then the whole thing is his. He studies torture as a hobby how to break minds not the bodies but the mind of a women or the men he is hunting after. He does not see this as lacking in human dignity for him human dignity is money. When money in your pocket I am your servant, when without you will crawl and cat wail to me, Money is all that matters.

He taught that to his kids.

Now we have the telegraph poles up and running the internet the computer the world in satellite yet our communication systems are always down our attention span is no longer than a minute at the best two.

“I am now dressed as a rich silly witch who did not even want to know bows and scraps.”

“Curtsy like this?”

The daughter is obedient.

“I curtsy like this?”

“No like this.”

I can now piss on it.

Crass words the worst of these words are that they matter mean something are something that meant for the likes of that someone their whole personality they can hurt wound and they destroy that someone my only fear had been not to matter to be without meaning and then he left me fled from me and I had no meaning left from that day onwards went from day centre to day centre looking for meaning and he then married to that woman. He married to that woman whom now he called his everything.

Curtsy to everyone just cursty damn you.

I meant no harm she would say but she did and he did they in fact so besotted they forgot everything in their everything and I hoped that I would one day have it out with them both but they were human beasts I did not have a clue what had happened to them their love gone what mattered to their mating and rituals was it something they did wrong robbing the poor in order to pay for their luxury lifestyle meant they had enough in their accounts to make them so very happy all they had to do was charm the world and the world would give and give to them what about me? Well what about me the one left behind and done for she said I could live on state benefits because the benefit system was a good system and that would make me a girl to be less fond of.

You see they living in their lifestyle pent houses and all that and me living in a little run down house a derelict home with a couple of swells?

Well the failure is one of communication when asking a rich man or a woman for money moderate your voice and look like you mean them no harm otherwise they wave their hands and dismiss you without a Simcard. That is what matters is there anymore to say about them of course there is the bloody likely hell that came and crashed into me was nothing but that them.

They set themselves as sheiks and raped murdered the girls. Some were whores by the end of the affairs but one or two did die.

That she is not right in the way of the living then he comes and joins the carriage to make them safe. The black nurse is no fool so he and she get to become a couple. The boy has to walk as his mother has lost her wits.

The thing is then she remembers and they send the search party where he is found to be soundly asleep. There is not far to go only a four hour journey with a good camel.

That has began screaming in agony did not settle the banking system. Hussein you ruined us.

“No use putting money into that kind of a deal is there?”

“I did marry her.”

“She has been screaming since time begins.”

“She will get better.”

“Not for marrying you!”

“I did not harm her.”

“She lost her baby because of you!”

“I lost a baby too do you see me cry?”

“Go to hell and bank.”

“I will.”

To hell with you all it is over for me I am going to become something do something.

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