Someone always knocking on the door

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Chapter 2

Well you see if a patient does not knife the family but another person than the family technically were not in danger were they? Because if the family had been in danger than the services would have reacted. The mentally ill can go and be where they are because they are under control. That is when we were released to do harms. That was why we cut off their benefits because we did not understand those most of them are flat bores and some are interesting but criminals. The thing is Lang said so but most patients do read about their illness it passes them to the next stage when they can pick up stuff usually experience and tell tale signs is when they begin to become creative and paint and lastingly they want to do things like organise and maybe do the law in. So they become secretaries for advice line and hopefully they can become employed but it never happens and when they are doing this advice lines for a number of years another breakdown and another one and that is when they die.

My father drove me mad because he had to be free and now what is there for me but to drive you all mad by these books. But then he was that real schizophrenic paranoid who did want to harm his drug induced world made him rotten to the core. But he did not have a road rage. He feared attacks on his person. He would set the other driver mad and then gas the car and he would run a mile.

So did the nurses have nothing to do before they became this giant machinery of over worked staffs that have to keep tabs on all those patients under their care? Community nursing but that is not what it means does it they can come in anytime and check up on you and tell you ask you personal questions which you swear you answered before. They can up your drugs they can insult you and they can be kind to you. So who are these people? In Africa they were known as the witch doctors in London they are nurses. The sick are the people who did not do well at school so they must be sick. They are the unsuccessful the maimed the lame they are the ones whom God needs to care and shelter from us.

“How many doctors this here?”

“How many nurses in here in this room?” asked the doctor?

“How many phone calls did just buzz through?”

“How many mothers do you have in here?”

I knew the answer to that one.


The rest I did not know anything about.

“We do not believe that nice woman is not your mother she is not unkind.”

“They always take her part even my own nurses do.”

Abdul is not her husband.

“She is always good and pure staying indoors never going out without telling us. We love her.”

Karl Marx said workers struggled to with their labour. They produce to become this totality in a totalitarian world. In England we do basket weaving the kind of things which we must produce in order to live. Like Ford factory Karl Marx with Elgin said no but while he was dining on tea with the privileged ladies he could not have seen that real workers did not even know how to hold a tea cup we only realised this now. Did Karl Marx have good table manners then he in the enlightened circle behaving very well and nicely with them ladies every afternoon tea? I mean why should a revolutionary be having tea with snobby ladies in the first place in some posh cafe? When we mix and can’t mix because we can’t hold knives and forks to a proper angle. Our murderess rages drown us as we struggle not to be submerged in the daily grind and strife of the class struggle. I have all the aristocracy trying to drum it into my head that I have not behaved properly by not respecting their money position and powerful influences while I was a mere nothing. Sorry ladies but that is why I am running out not to listen to such blabbering from the height of the aristocratic cats.

“Because he a gentleman.”

That in India there are 1000,000 born every minute and who is counting when life is so cheap? Cheap labour there has produced the best democracy ever. We must have it here to in Europe when the racism began and so too the far right. So there it is the connection of thinking and living and doing the common labouring jobs which is no joke because when one is doing the common labour one is treated like some dirt on the plate of snobbery. That one even reads a book is frowned upon and can earn points towards dismissal. That there are other reasons behind the sally is not enough because the firm belief is not on our perch not on our land not on our ideals should you over reaches yourself otherwise we can make your life hell.

There is this lady by the window naked as the day she is born I am going to the house to seek her out. She has a crowded family might need a hand all the children are drunk and sleeping she naked her husband at the mines what do you say? Okay I am game if you are. There the father in law is before us giving her one. Bad that is bad.

“You are nothing not even a farthing less than a farthing less than anything you whore.”

She is about to faint will she faint or won’t see the whole neighbourhood has held its breath as they listen to his ranting she is giggling they breath it is okay she will not faint if she had not giggled she would have swooned and fainted and been white as a sheet.

“Less than a farthing. Now carry me indoors.” And she would carry her husband indoors.

The thing was mummy said when they shouted nobody came to their aid when Mess shouted everyone said poor Mess and went there to aid her in her plight telling the husband not to behave in such a way.

“There she is at that darned window parading her wares.”

There she is by the window naked and then her husband is shouting at her to behave saying she a worse thing why behave in such a manner? Or something but the window is so small cannot see a thing. I know went there saw the window it is less than a peep hole there are nothing to see it is double glass there are nothing to be within but the chairs and the table and why the aggro?

He so jealous and he wants her to boil the water for the bath and then wait until he has his sugared tart and then his drink of sugared lemonade and then he is having the top over then it is morning and the children should be awake soon and there is not that much to do but to behave as if in there having the time of their life and this goes on daily forever.

That Mess is in a sort of enviable position as she has a job with Gold and does for Gold because Gold is related to someone important. Cousin to the doctor a cousin is a cousin so eventually we get to the plot do not we a mad woman’s relative won’t be only stigmatised but might be open to questions and more of the same.

I surmise because I am a psychic that the first thing a woman does when she takes pen to paper is to make a mess out of the whole thing because there are so many things to write about. The so many things to guess at so much to misbehave in and make into a dolls playing at the game of tea drinking and then there is not enough evidence and research but what one sees and gleams from the whole folly which is the gossips so if there is a doubt about what I am saying believe you. I do not believe you there is everyone saying that I should not believe you the world is standing and not moving I am aged now I am old now there is nothing in me but to stand more still then I think I will fall down flat.

In it is also not in there for real for reality is hard facts backed by officialdom I am not writing a official biography or a report this is a glimmer of the facts there are not enough evidence by the tabloids so we have to go to other sources to gleam and make our feelings known that we have been starved of facts within the Turkish literature with women and male writers pretending they do not live in Turkey but somehow have escaped the facts of being Turkish writers with responses as Turks. Okay so you live in the Capital or some other capital and there is not enough literature to busk in then you write something akin to Russian literature. Why?

The first president of the Turks was a spy. No not the revolutionary his first real prime Minster he did it better because nothing was done for some time. He over worked himself. He did such a lot not much changed. Not many bills paid. He did not much the railways were a disaster. I mean he found out his mother did not like his looks. Look you cannot die twice. I think about it all the time but that makes me a what? Here we go again thinking there is a reason why I am thinking because of the things that they have made us do now in that sorry land which has produced the current situation. The current situation is that we are all agreeable as long as we sell Turkish delight.

When we were young this would have meant good but most of us are now old and we are all suffering from sugar intolerance.

How can a iconic member of the establishment not have behaved better there are so many people defending the likes of people long since dead and not many people in anywhere but in prisons protesting and making sense why? Because Turkey is the worse country for freedom of speech we lack the ability to say what we do think and when we do. There are reprisals and unfortunately England is becoming like that to with its political correctness and good mannerly conduct gone mad. And how dare you speak about us in such a fashion because we are pure of heart.

Unfortunately when one is speaking purity of heart goes out of the window. Because we are mad as hell when it comes down to it we are so mad we live and breathe our madness and fire comes out of our nostrils.

There is a connection between the English and the Turks you know from the Crimea to this day we had the misfortune to believe we got out and away from the influences of the west but we never did Russia is practically next door and there is too much to answer but to say thank you for all the aid they left us and all that. We needed aid because of the poverty there nothing like poverty and being in shacks which would have fallen down if they had not been rebuilt to have spurred us on to sell out our American friends.

To ask the question why this harangue, well we all must say something words and more is destroying literature and it is meaningless drivel and rewrites which is maddening me.

Well unfortunately it is the fashion to see the truth and a writer is someone who does see the truth if not what is a writer but a tool for the rich industry which churns thousands of books only for them to die flat after a sell out and then forgotten?

In Turkey or anywhere else they are placing writers and artist in the comfort zones and making their lives healthy and well. In England the poor authors are in mental institutes and the rich are in some sort of snob land. But in Turkey they do them less proud they place them in prisons. So the writer dies either way.

What is the point of view where are the synopsis to the tall tales and stories what do you want to see where is the matter and what is the matter of it and what is wrong with it? These are tall stories about the current society which we live and behave in it is a satire and with my new found freedom because I do not care who reads the stuff I am able to be available night and day writing them. Because writing is about giving the all about it and there is nothing but what it is about so I have failed in life so my life is meaningless what of it? This is me here in this little room having a literary event all by myself.

We have not developed as writers because there are not enough freedoms of expressions allowed and no money and there is the only thing we are allowed to live on is in our prisons. You see if one writes that is where one writes in prison.

Where the synopsis is my sinuses is here.

Mess’s husband again has shattered the vases and he is a Jew he should not be where he is and she is married to him loves his kind and saintly frame she told mother so and mother said hump. My husband was a saint a dear man he was such a saint a man a man who I miss hourly if not daily. I did not regret one moment of our marriage I have more hours to fill now then I know what to do with and there are not enough children to see me through the day. And she had 9 children and several dozen grandchildren and great grandchildren.

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