Someone always knocking on the door

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Chapter 26

It is the past, present with the future with its interconnections mixed up. The life stories involved the very bitterness of the past in the present the future into that distance and they are all mixed in some stew of sensory beasts failed humans. In their own realities doomed to make endless motions with their mouths and not being able to say the right words. Not having the thoughts the feelings roam into from the past into the present and the future making the results which can be stepping back and not seeing what has happened and what one has done. Then forwards making the leaps into the past from the present into the future. And unable to see what one has done wrong who one has robbed why it matters at all. Like the giant who does not feel the little people’s jabs and all that what did I do wrong? Genocide that is what you done wrong.

I can’t change my pre-occupations my mind is the connections which make the sensors which connect the syntax which make the worst things appear palatable. The snaps shouldered as if blown from the distinct past and then went on too long. We now have nothing but the shouts out and then we mate and then there is the possibility of hate growing and when that happens what will happen?

Why do the swimsuits now rule the world? Why that is a connections because that is who that person is or was that is the occupations the preoccupations.

He is still looking at his wife and she is there this constant Jane.

The desires of that personality that man who I did give all to only to be turned into some sort of siren screaming like a sergeant major at his back. The personality of that human makes the one whole. The reality of having the breaths the very smells which one has memories from which make one as if that is ownership of the self. My interests lead me here. Otherwise would be somewhere else. Yes my interests are the connectors which are what it is what it is about. Interesting yes interested. No he is not into all that sorry things thoughtless to a degree he does not misunderstand that there is something wrong with his point of view. It might come to him behind my back but then it will be too late.

The interests which lead me to this place? Hyper supermarkets the mills of them.

All gone ousted from my hold.

Those of us who do not have a home to live in be in and do not even want to know. The shops are open and you can window shop for hours and hours. Take a break on your WIFI and take the time to be connected to everyone and smartly phone them who smartly answer back.

That is another of my interests.

The loft benefiting from insulations can add years to your life if no one feeds the vermin’s which lurk like dust mites and all that.

The loft insulation did not bring me anything but dust I did a lot of it out today and put pine wood so the dust mites would not cause havoc with the air. The airing pipes and all that was suffocating me, something is not right there is a failure inside of me as if the time is now ripe not for a ripe old age but like a disaster.

That my liver got bad is another of my interests and the shops the loft and the vermin got to my intense glare. You are not wanted here. Cry the hags round the street as if the wantonness of misbehaving and their soulless kids have maddened them totally.

That there is a pair of stench because they did behave badly their kids would come back to them when they shower the kids with the right kind of love. If they must misbehave don’t take your children when hunting it is bad. They had walked with their toddlers and with the prams making hatred their code and children and babies do feel such a deal lot then they let on so mothers what have you all done for a bit of fun?

I mean the air in from the loft was not that health making. I do not think the gas did think much of it but the thing was to bring warmth.

What does it mean the air in here is not nice? Brought the things into the open the dust came flopping into my air passages the coughing was not intense but the beginning of the end?

Why of course it must be which is costly at making readers read about two thousand? I know no point in doing so much work is there? So having grabbed two thousand readers will make you right and happy?

Genocide was in the making when they went and got a lesser writer into their employ because of who she is and what she is and not me? Because I am a bit woolly or something but that is only a opinion she made them a great deal of money and that is the business.

Numbers are not that important to me but only to me.

So the thing is when one is difficult and does not party that means what? That the one with the pretty ways and manners gets in and one who is a bit more diffident and difficult does not? That is right always behave and have nice manners that is what one must do.

He says the same things to me without realising he said I was now hooked on a balding aging twit and I said he had smelly feet. So we had it out.

Numbers do not mean anything to me.

That is why no air in the loft.

I guess it is less lofty than that?

You see today persons confuse business with art that is what is wrong with it is it not the truth because business is never art?

But there is the commercial writing art which is like the commercial artist craft and all that and people pay good money for this kind of commercialism? Of course if it makes money than who cares.

Someone has just caved in my garden sent it mad. The roving earth has changed the landscapes completely. They have all gathered together and dug the whole earth up. The mines are down under there is not much solidity is there but the thinking is never-never did such building come together.

I did not think it could have been that which had made me breath so heavy. I almost reasoned it had been the bad weather the bad summer or the over ripe harvests which gave us the surplus of twenty five percent extras. Fruit that is.

Never go back to what you lost never go back to what you had harmed never go back.

This summer we saw the more harvests.

Now we will be Nil and leave it to dry. Since that dried the whole world is drying from overuse.

We have ruined ourselves because we did not behave properly like what humans must behave but there was no parents to see to my needs and he did not love me of course he did but she was such a pretty thing he was smitten by her electric eyes and he now weeps for the like of her and he wanted her and wanted her and loved her image. The perfection of the day startles me that I am now ready to kick his arse from me.

“After we close down the factories we then sell it double triplet and have the right girls for the guys.”

“Factories production lines constant on.”

“Do not misunderstand when the rich pay they do get value for money.”

“But they never pay.”

“No one is insulted no one at all?”

Some say that is why the rich are rich because they never pay for anything at all when they can have it for free.

Hard working people like the rich why they talk more than anybody else because they have more weight and more money.

“I am now the fool.”

“Solitude is only for the Gods.”

“Sorry do not like to make such comparisons.”

“Go compare go compare.”

“Compare what to what?”

“Behave yourself of course behaviourist said that if one is rewarded one takes the lottery money and runs.”

“Being same skin type the same beady eyes looking with loathing at me said my sister ruined her life.”

“They all feel the same I mean they look after their own kids and then I made them.”

“How did I make them?”

“You used persuasion?”

“Not true I can’t persuade myself through the supermarket.”

“No relative now owns you.”

“I upset them all.”

“He did not have anyone but his peasant family.”

“Your dad was a philosopher?”

“No he most definitely not but he was a crook.”

“Poison pen?”

“Yes.”

“Maybe you should improve on your writing?”

“Handwriting is bad because of my hands.”

“I meant the content.”

“Fuck off.”

The only the thing is to make more jobs secure it used to be having unemployment benefit the most secure thing in the world nobody bothered one at all now everyone is asking how do you like your life and should you not go and earn some cash? Well the thing is nobody is giving it away are they? Everyone is broke and broken and why should they when they do not like me did not smell me did not find out about me do not know my story. Why not when doing a four hour journey one cannot handle with care? I am with the kids indoors having the safety pins in. What does it matter?

Does anyone know what happens in the house at all?

“My mother is working that means she is in the social ability ladders has invites to parties and has friends.”

She is very amiable.

You will not recognise them so much the better. The kids now have the potentials to make more money than you could ever. How right that is how much how much? My dear child comes to daddy.

“You have ceased to be amusing.” Said the older bats in the bus driving to the house where they were holding out until they could get home.

No do not say such a thing when WIFI all round the globe making cash and carry. They are still trying to Work on Sundays benefiting the iron industry and doing the matters so smartly.

In fact we must all work until we drop down dead because the benefit industry is increasing and production is falling and the population is now in need of social care and they did not prepare for this? No way they did not think at all.

Nobody thinks about this and that there was no time to think at all.

In the summer we did nothing but party and now it is mid season we have to mature and heal ourselves and think of vulnerable people and why did nobody warn us that it might happen and that this aging world would come upon us?

So we won’t discuss them.

“Say something nice about me?”

“I love you.”

Whoever invited them over did the right thing. Otherwise it might have led to consequences.

We are having consequences.

We are having the red carpets we might need to see how well everyone thinks about us all. We give them the wild idea to think themselves now can do us proud and give us a billion. Give us a billion sir we need it more than the kids in the tents. To pay our gas and electricity.

“Go and marry someone.”

“Chinese have more money than we do?”

Seeking hand outs. Putting you on hold.

“No more hand outs none at all we had no idea that food costs money to produce and buy you know.”

“Donations welcome.”

“No more handing out them leaflets.”

“No more handing out any hand outs.”

“Why is he winking?”

Otherwise the nurses won’t be paid when they do not even know about the things most important.

“Food and shelter and taking the care of the family.”

“A patient has been left on his trolley?”

“Does he have a phone?”

“Sure.”

“That is okay than at least he is connected.”

“Who to?”

“To the rest of them who are connected to the connections.”

“Who are where?”

“In India.”

“So why we connected to India?”

“Cheaper.”

“They do things cheaper there.”

“Here we can’t do this so we got connections to India. Where they do things much cheaper heart pace maker one pound the NHHS had thrown them out because they too old and worn out and the Indians made them new.”

“You don’t say.”

“Yes second hand from HERE.”

“Man said after a five year ordeal he wearing it in India.”

“We got our dad back.”

“Cost less than a pound.”

The NHS has the best mating paces. All them nurses have the bright idea when in training they must marry a doctor. One or two actually do.

So are we wasteful?

“Putting you all on hold.”

“The doctor does not fear me leaving?”

“They are glad to see the back of me.”

“Sorry but how many nurses after him?”

“Many.”

“So you won’t be missed.”

They then fall the social peg.

The others must do the staff and the man with the oxygen tank when he is refused the patient does not have the airs right and expires,

“Another one who has lost out on love he is not a doctor.”

“He would not see him.”

“He has since did not do the right air when he in such a mood.”

“Brain damaged the patient?”

“Well at least he realised!”

“The other one left did not even notice the patient not breathing.”

“He went to do another patient.”

“The manager chased him round until said no more.”

“This is not a romantic novel.”

“No what is it then?”

“I have no idea.”

“Now he haplessly mated to the right one.”

“No he got dismissal.”

“The managements always serious.”

“Yes the management must be serious balancing the books at all times that are very serious.”

“They have the board to think of.”

“Governors do not like them being careless.”

No they still students. Mostly the thinking is they will graduate? When they graduate they leave and form families of their own.

The nursing staffs have the more miserable spouses.

Not only students have the time unless they have a husband sat in the park. Permanent there stuck? Yes he seems not to feel the weather? Not him he is feelings too not when sat in the park what is he doing there? Thinking? Thinking of doing what?

“Should he cook the soup first or the parsnips”

“Or the rice”

“No he does not like rice.”

“Potatoes”

“Not that either?”

“Did he do his shopping?”

“He has.”

“At least shopping over he can now think?”

“Has the laundry been done?”

“Yes he did that last night.”

No use being that way we do not care to be rudely interrupted when we slimming down we are slimming down. No one has the brains. If a kid is likely to think numbers the facts of his brains how many numbers did you have?

The thing was he sat in the park thinking having vile thoughts his wife working on a Sunday one gets them sometimes.

Might make him think he so smart. He can have enough numbers all the time. Do you mean numbers one and two? Do not talk like that no does not speak to me. It is difficult rearing children? Is that so?

On the road. They had the right child care the kids on the phone it is okay the latch key is over now we have the kids hanging on the line.

Four years of it?

Did not make her less numbered?

“No we have the best numbers ever.”

“All highly polished?”

“Yes we got it sorted it is John Lennon did not do the right end.”

“He had the wrong wife?”

“So if he married this Japanese than had the mad wife as well?”

“Yes he had a mad person he had married to who swore he and she had got it back together. But she was silenced before she could say another word.”

“We do not believe a word of it,” she says.

“Always mental”

“He said she dull ordinary and normal which he said was not into it at the time?”

“But they came back together.”

“Then he went to India to come and come.”

India has the old people’s home does it not? Yes I am not going there.

“It might be a social documentation?”

“About what”

“How I got from lack of space to time of space?”

“Are you not silly?”

“Who cares about me nobody does and I know it”

Her dismissal was far more in hast the hustle and the bustle of being dismissed is one does not have anything to look for as if the streets might be next. The poor boys at the door did not leave her alone.

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