Someone always knocking on the door

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Chapter 3

He and he did not shattered vases. His shattered vase was the last straw. Someone came over to fix the vase at night at night in a carriage why he and she in the carriage with themselves out. Who is he? I do not know but he should not be here.

I said about Mess’s husband who might or might not be my grand sir. That he is a horrid man and should not be there at all. Where should he be then? Nowhere is he a wicked and evil man. He who feeds you my dear his money feeds you now is polite.

No I will not shan’t I was at that age when I was a terror to behold and did not mix things I was a disaster to the whole lot of them. A terrible two or something that made everyone laugh as well as cringe.

He should not be here at all. He is not one of the man look he should not be here in here he is someone called Greek he is into this I do not think he is not the man who is in the drag? Look his beard in here? He is wearing his cloak? Why is he here then if they are all at war? It is not him why who is it then?

In the little Island with the little people who were known affectionately as the little Turks.

They had the most bizarre discussions about letting them leave Turkey and setting up as Greeks well we were Greeks to begin with so why they now awake to the fact?

If not Makaros who is he? It is the wrong time of the hour it is night I could not sleep because of ear ach. Went to drink some water went to the window and saw Makaros on the carriage with a? It was a woman in a grey gown. That was what Makaros was riding in the carriage with.

It made him very unkind to beasts. But he should not be there he should not be there.

Makaros and her what a bare rider that would make her his mistress or Mrs? I find that so droll why them cardsharpers would not behave well like her? Well everyone has to be busy I guess. It is boring here with the only pastime smashing vases.

“He did not like that? No it was bloody expensive.”

But he loved children he loved children he loved childish delighted laughs. He was involved in the youth movement said that youth was the future of mankind with their brains. That we youthful people the future of the mankind. What unkindness he died? But no he is walking in the yard within the carriage with the gown and he is being driven smartly out.

“I do not understand what this means?”

“It means time for bed.”

“I can’t think why he saw me and seen the watchful look? No he did not see me at all?”

“I was not there remembering?”

“But if he had seen me?”

“Why he would marry me.”

“Not true not true at all?”

“I look like her.”

“I look like her who shot herself I just look like her.”

“Why do I look like her?”

“I do not want to understand what he in here in the fifties and not there outside in the sixties I in here stranded in the garden and can’t walk away can’t do that because this is the safest place ever. I am stranded here? Why he is now dead?”

“I do not think he is.”

“Why what is it?”

“I can’t get to sleep sheep counting me in.”

“Look it is not nice is it?”

“I do not like to be here. I fear I fear more from here than anywhere must take a cab and ride out myself exposure down in the snow and it is no matter I will never say never.”

“I do not die.”

“I am dead if he finds me.”

“Look who is this child?”

“It is me.”

“Where is mother?”

“I do not like to be here when the politicians have the right of way.”

“I am into not politics with women who wile away their time thinking of loving a robot.”

“I disown womanhood who think making love to bears is nice.”

“Taken the cabbie and dad died after mummy raped repeatedly. Got repatriated and deported.”

Abdul took care of daddy because Abdul said mummy too old for sexual intercourse with mummy and she only in her fifties and why did he say that because he and mummy at it like mad.

“Not true anymore no longer Turks a good Turkish wife does not do such a thing.”

“I do not think so I know so he is mostly here in from one door knows where everything is and how much the size of the rooms and he was there telling me he would have his revenge.”

“I do not thank myself that my first love was this Turk who got me into deportations and illegal immigrations.”

“I find myself as Surgun which is displaced.”

“That is constantly wandering in some hell they do so in Russia for grave offence.”

“I am a grave offence.”

“Silence is so much more fun.”

“I am touched by this bizarre world when everything moves round and round like a bowl with a fish in it.”

“Yes not satisfactory at all.”

“The thing is what matters in life that everything matters because it is if one part of you hurts the other parts are affected to.”

“That every inch of my hands hurt why it hurts I will tell you I worked as a servant.”

“Discontinued line yes that is what they told me.”

“Downgraded disgraced for behaving not like a lady.”

“I am not a lady.”

“Not done right with the general.”

“Yes found wanting.”

“Doing time with what?”

“This is most Yes unsatisfactory.”

“We are mincing along.”

“My story is not begun yet.”

“He not satisfied so he died Fiddle died not satisfied?”

He loved someone called his wife my friend told me. Fiddle a fool why he love someone who did not love him? Life is like that is it not because we all have to love someone.

The thing was had to have my revenge. Let us face it everyone is human and humans are as I said are not nice people we are what we are to make amends I have become this clairvoyant. We are only humans we think like animals but we are after all human beings.

“Nightmare is the word.”

“More than a nightmare I am the devil you all now know.”

“Yes grave mistake.”

“We must all pay some dues.”

On the other hand bad politicians had matters made far worse and mattered more because they heroes and what they made was Turkey but why did they all play cards continuously every single minute of each day with their wives? Did not they have anything to do like mend things and settle home and with a house to build or even a garden gloves to see to? It is much worse things to deal with. His wife and she found him far from appealing. So statements read down the bank and the wife knew about the accounts she was a good provider who did provide the alibi. You see there are so many unanswered questions from that period in history when the empire had fallen and everyone building the wives was playing cards? What is the matter with them did not they behave sullen and wise or did they ply someone with drink and take to their tables in order to foster their demons or did they just hope to be next in bed with the great man or were they up to no good tricks and why did he marry their friend who said no sorry.

His mother did not get to see him for fifteen years she and he wrote a lot to each other maybe the handwriting experts could vouch that the writing was really his?

What had taken place was you cannot nearly die twice and half his face was gone.

The ladies and more ladies adding to the discount stores because they thoughtful and why they got their houses straight. They made a lot of losers win and then what did happen they had to give Turkey time to heal from the wounds and now we have the corruptions and all that.

“Cats.”

“Yes of course they have cats as government.”

So they could bewitch the bewitching hour and make the hour glass worn out work. There are good failures the women who had more sense on their shoulders. The good tastes and sense and good domestic workers and did not do much all day but blink.

We who have butchered our children we who wept not at all when the woman had been deflowered before four years old. They went they just went.

The prams which sunk us the prams which sunk us because we used the our babies to save the nation and we became women wives no longer but mothers who would kill our own children and babies to save this nation death to all of us if we did not win it was the loss of humanity loss of womanhood it was the end and the beginning of the end of where we should be what we lost was not recovered we were the mothers who killed or had our children killed. For the good of what our country for the good of our world and what we got in return are cats for government. The women must have thrown out the kids who had been slain. That our kids who were unmade. The children who could not do much then are not us. Like dirt.

We began to use children who were not of good useful to toil their lives away children who were not nice to be any more children who were grey. Ashen grey and grey as dead. Dead children of them who got the beds made. Our children make our beds. Our children who got our hair when we sleeping in the shared bed. Our hair in the way our strangled children why?

What is the happiness of giving us a special day when that day is the only day when we allowed wearing shoes? Others other’s did it for us? Yes we have a special day when we can sing and sing when some do not even make it baritone.

Special children are chosen it is some who have to pay the price because without the workers the generosity is not done. Money and gifts come to them who work. Others get the free day when they relatives and do not work. They get to benefit kiss your mother’s hand. We have given our darlings so we get to kiss the hand who gave us the cabbie fare home.

Ferrying across the river ferrying across the doom ferries come and go and we stay put when the ships burning in one go.

He found solace in forestry work. He was such a man a man who had negotiated the deals which set the seal of approval on them. Now not much happened to him. He was not bid out bided that he looked ugly. He disapproved of the worn out MPs.

You cannot die twice.

But he did.

“If you can live with my ugliness for a ten year period then it means we married.”

“Damnations husband as long as that a courtship takes shorter.”

This is all conjecture I know but is it not fun? In literature I can be anyone and that is the fun part the downsize bit is when there is nothing left to write about.

My great-grand came from Cairo where she had been born and did not know what it meant nothing to do with her wanderlust. Travels in her mind which became stores stories of knowledge pickled and hen picked. Look my great grand can be anyone because they not sharing stories and they all dead so I can say copyright and they not saying anything wrong with that.

No one knew me enough to give me any money at all except for Fiddle and grand pa so they were the only ones who gave me anything what is wrong with that? So why should grandpa give you some land? Because I was nice to him and nice still to Fiddle but he sorry he ever behaved like that to me he did not like me in the end said he did not want me he wanted to travel with mother sell everything and get away from it all.

Like go on a boat trip of a life time and never coming back again?

Yes that is true.

A man on horseback riding seeing this girl took her away.

Kidnapped?

“It might be love.” Nobody stopped him. Nothing can stop them they are bandits.

Bandits work in groups of forty when they were so good and useful to the community as to get the girls while the girls out walking most common people did not allow their daughters outside the door and when they went out they were taken.

“Scarcity of the girls?”

“Most definitely.”

Forty of them riding on horse setting the town on fire and taking the girls some even went for another while the girls were tied up. But most of these girls only returned two years later and made a shame of their parents.

Pregnant and all that the parents sent them away and they never came back.

“Not my daughter anymore some common whore.”

She paid the ferry man she said she had to. The ferry man is the one who makes you cross the rivers and then you might return. Nobody has returned. Nobody at all. That is what the Roman poet Vigil said he said so. The river of no return. I will never return. Returns please there are the returns. She has been sent home to bear it alone aloof.

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