Story 1: The Never Ending Loop
Again the cycle starts.
How many times do I have to do this over? Only to be born from the darkness to a grey world to re-live the agony for a day, and then return to the darkness. In a never ending loop.
Here it goes again.
From the emptiness I float towards the cold light, for a second it blinds me and then I see the dark grey trees, the grey sand and the cold white sky with really light grey clouds here and there.
Hair up, in my running clothes and shoes I just stand there still, till I see them. The familiar feeling of anxiety takes over mind, and I’m unsure what to do. Still one thing is for sure, I don’t want to run into them. I wait and look which way they will go, and I take the opposite route. The air is getting colder and I start to run. But here’s a another thing, I’m not entirely sure that how did this happen. That how it came to be like this, that I’d be running away and hiding from them like I would have wronged them somehow. But I can’t remember. At the same time as I am unsure of it, I have a feeling that they might hate me. Why?
I don’t know.
It eats away my inner core.
I run and run and run, and I feel like dying. My limbs are on fire and I can’t breathe properly.
Finally I’m out of the woods, as I arrive to the same old house that seems familiar in a way. Like it would be linked to some memory.
I step in, and it’s full with people who I know. It’s even colder inside than outside. I walk up the stairs, no one seems to notice me, no one at least turns towards me to acknowledge my presence. I don’t mind, I think I’m used to it.
As I’m on the top floor I see them.
What the hell are they doing here?
I hide behind the door. Suddenly fear hits my guts, and I watch them go down another pair of stairs. I let out a small sigh, and step into the room where they had been. Now it’s freezing and I carefully walk down the dark hall to the velvet room. As I step in there on the bed I see a white dress that I’m supposed to put on.
Still huttering from the coldness I take of my running clothes and shoes, and put on the dress.
It looks like a ball gown dress, or a wedding dress. Don’t know which one is worse.
As I have gotten the dress on, I put my hair up in a elegant bun, and decorate it with white diamonds. I find white laced high heels from under the bed, and I put them on.
Hanging diamond earrings, a pearl necklace and long white gloves.
When I’m done I step out of the room and start to walk the long dark hallway again.
Nervousness finds its way to my mind like a poison and my heart starts to beat like crazy.
What am I afraid of?
What is my gut trying to warn me of?
I turn left, open the door and find spiral stairs going down. I take a deep breath and start to walk them down into the darkness. Then finally I come to a black door and I open it.
Behind the door is a long room filled with the people I know. They seem to have frozen still like statues, and I spot them. They seem to change the direction where they are looking without moving. They look cold, tired, angry and disappointed.
I can’t take it.
Something bursts open inside me, and I scream from the sharp, acidic pain. Again I can’t breath, and I feel the corset on my dress getting tighter, digging into my skin.
So I start to run.
Away from the people, but most importantly, away from them.
I run like I’d be on slow motion, to the nearest door. To my escape.
As I open the door, I trip and start to fall.
There’s nothing behind the door only darkness and who knows how deep it will go. I look up as I fall further away from the door.
I can’t take this anymore, I think to myself, just let me die.
Slowly I sink into unconsciousness, numbing my mind and feeling.
Who knows how long I have been here…
And then it starts all over again.
My never ending loop of torment.