When I get home from work at the fancy restaurant, I see both my parents in the living room, holding hands while watching tv. Whenever I witness this, I constantly think that maybe there's a chance of coming back from everything and we'll be normal again like the old days before I came out.
I know that won't happen, I'm reminded of it when my mother glares at me from the couch, a revolted look on her expression that shouldn't hurt as much as it does, I'm used to that, it shouldn't hurt. But seeing the same look on the woman at the restaurant must've made me forget what the real thing looks like.
My mother used to be gentle and loving, she cared for me and did everything a great mother would. She assured me, like both did, that they'd love me no matter what happened, that I'd still be her child and she'd support me in everything I do.
I quickly learned that I can't trust the promises people tell me, I learned when someone promises what they did that it'd be broken as easily as it was made. They don't support or love me, I'm not their child as far as their concerned, I'm just the person that destroyed their lives and killed their only daughter.
I didn't mean for them to hate me, I thought everything would be fine when I come out, I thought they'd accept me and we'd be the same happy family as before. I was never so wrong in my life.
It helped me build walls around myself, if I can't let someone in, I won't get hurt again. I won't hear the broken promises they would make, I won't have to fear of making them hate me for being myself, I won't get hurt by the one I'm supposed to love and trust.
Coming out was both a blessing and a curse, on one end it felt great to say who I am and come from the darkness of the shadow I lived in as a girl, but also it caused the falling of my family and made me have trust issues. I guess being bullied fits into that also but I would've been bullied anyways even if my family accepted me, it's just how the world is.
"Get out of my sight, Paige. You fucking disappointment, we should've disowned you, your nothing but a reminder of how you stole our daughter away from us. My little girl is not a fucking man!" My mother uses my birth name, the name she chose immediately after seeing the pink blanket at the hospital.
The name stings worse than the rest of what she said, I had always felt wrong being called that. I remember I had told my friends to call me P for short or Bruce because batman was my favorite superhero and I wanted to be like him. No one questioned me since I was little and they thought it was cute.
I'm not Paige anymore and will never be, I'm Hunter, a teenage boy in high school that likes skateboarding and listening to music while I go for a run or walk in the mornings or evenings. This boy also finds men attractive and gets a little flustered when embarrassed or put on the spot. He thinks about what he would do if he was ever Batman or Spiderman, sometimes he thinks how awesome it'd be if Batman and Spiderman had mixed powers. Batman having the web-shooters and Spiderman had all the Bats weapons, they'd be the best team ever.
I am Hunter, I am me, I'll have to be proud of myself for being me if no else will. I'll do so proudly.
I run to my room before anything can get out of hand, planning to shower the day off, that name, and the hurtful words that came from my mother's lips.
Walking into school is painful, I was woken before my alarm by my father yelling at me and pulling me from my bed to kick my ribs as much as he could. He got a few good blows to my head which is why there's bandage tape over a cut and some pretty bad bruises on my left cheek.
I wear a hoodie to hide it, matching it with some sweat pants and deciding for it to be lazy day Tuesday. My arm is cradling my ribs as I walk to my first class, keeping my head down even if I know its no use, people know it's me.
I think he had actually broken a rib, my left side is lightly swollen and whenever I move I whimper from the pain spreading throughout my body. I'll have to check with the nursing later at lunch, I can't be late for my classes.
I can't focus on anything that teachers say, my rib is increasing in pain, blocking out anything from getting in as I focus purely on the pain. I know that may not be smart but I can't help it, it'ss like I'm being stabbed and the knife is twisting.
I had sat through three full classes with it, surprisingly enough I hadn't had to draw with anyone yet. But I did overhear some girls speaking of a really hot dude that apparently never shows up to school, the only thing I pay attention to is something about a boy. Smart.
I didn't hear much of the conversation before the pain overwhelmed me again, forcing whimpers in and trying not to bring attention to myself.
Sadly Eric found me on my way to lunch, I had seen him walking my direction and knowing him, it wasn't for anything good. I did what I thought would save me, I ran.
Which brings me to now, running through the halls, practically crying in pain as I hear Eric's loud steps behind me, his voice yelling at me. The halls are basically empty from everyone being at lunch, no one is here to save me, not that they would anyway.
"Come one girlie! I just wanna talk!" Eric yells at me, only making a sting at my heart as he misgenders me.
I force myself to push my legs harder, trying to ignore the pain in my torso that only gets worse, ignoring the tears that slide down from my eyes from it. My legs hurt and my breathing is heavy, I'm panting and it doesn't help my ribs, just adds to the pain like my lung is being pierced.
When I go to turn a corner, I hit something hard as a rock that sends me down to the floor with a loud painful whimper and small scream as I feel the pain spread everywhere.
Looking up I'm met with the same eyes as yesterday, one brown one blue, belonging to the son that now stands like a fucking giant over me. He's definitely bigger than me and his muscles are on full display thanks to the tight black short sleeve shirt he's wearing.
He stares at me emotionless, except his lips are in a small smirk when he recognizes me. But it quickly disappears when he sees what state I'm in, crying with a cuts and bruises on me and cradling my ribs.
He makes a move to step closer but I crawl away from him, fearing what will happen as I'm now currently trapped by two big guys, one that's out for blood.
I can hear Eric coming to stop behind me and his laugh as he sees what happened, this makes me tense and look back at him like a deer in headlights. I have nowhere to run and my body is nearly limp on the floor, unable to handle so much pain for so long.
"Finally, the little bitch can run. Thanks, Alex, wanna have some fun? She's pretty easy to handle." Eric's voice has clear amusement and enjoyment in it as he steps closer to me.
I feel more tears coming from the misgendering terms he used, more of frustration than of hurt from the words.
"I-I'm not a girl.." I whimper, holding my ribs as I crawl back away from him.
Eric scoffs, grabbing my arm and dragging me back to him, ignoring my small scream. "Do you have a dick? Huh? Do you have a dick or a pussy? Last I checked pussies aren't guys."
Eric kicks the back of my spine, allowing a whole new pain spread through me as I scream and clutch my ribs, falling to the floor all the way with a pathetic whimper. He laughs, enjoying this.
"What are you doing?" The deep voice surprises me, I had thought he left.
"Huh? Oh just teaching this thing a lesson. Joseph is too soft with it." Eric casually answers, making me wonder where Joseph is, he wouldn't let Eric say these things to me. But then again, I've been wrong about things before.
I feel someone kneel next to me, forcing my body to flinch away with a whimper, not wanting to open my eyes that had somehow closed.
"You did enough. Leave." The boy, Alex I'm assuming, calmly orders but his tone is demanding and stern.
I hear Eric stutter something before taking off running, giving me a moment of relief, my body goes limp against the floor and I groan from the increasing pain I feel. I don't believe what just happened, this dude stood up for me, kinda. But, he could also just want me to release his anger on me from yesterday.
I tense again at the thought, I'd surely die then. I attempt to slide away from him, whimpering ever so slightly as I do but full on the jump when his huge hand appears on my shoulder.
"Relax, I won't hurt you. I'm taking you to the nurse." I cry out when he picks me up rather gently, holding me like a bride.
I can't help but feel suspicious of him, I've heard that line before, right before they take me outside to beat me half to death. Although, his heartbeat is rather calming like he's breathing, and I feel strangely safe in his long big arms that act as a warm teddy bear.
When I wake up, I'm met with a bright light and a white room, the bed I'm on us uncomfortable and I hear beeping. Hospital, what am I doing in the hospital? I ask myself that until I remember everything.
I groan I can't be here if my parents find out I'll be killed. God forgive if the doctors called the police on suspicion of child abuse from the number of bruises or cuts I have. Looking down I see I'm in a white gown, white blankets over me and I have IV's in me. My eyes scan over the bruises on my pale arms, old scars on my wrists too my elbows, I was never proud of self-harming. But it seemed to help when everything first started, the abuse.
Hearing a door open, I immediately hide my arms under the blanket, shifting my eyes up to see the large boy coming from the bathroom in the room. I blink in shock, what is he doing here? Is he here for me? Is this a shared room?
I look around the room but only see that this is a private room with the door closed like the curtains, the couch has a leather jacket on it with my clothes and shoes. The tv is playing Supernatural, giving me a good view of Dean.
"You're awake, good." I jump at his voice, gulping nervously as I shift, unsure of what to do.
"I don't think I've introduced myself, I'm Alex. We met at the restaurant. What's your name, Cutie?" Alex stands at my side of the bed, looking down at me softly, smiling just a little when he sees me blush.
"Uh...Hunter...why am I in the hospital?" I ask, biting my lip as I think of what will happen when my parents get here.
"You had a broken rib, the nurse called an ambulance. You've been asleep most of the day." I nod, not sure what to say.
"Did that boy do this to you? Break your rib?" I gulp at the question, before shaking my head slowly. I don't want Eric in trouble with anyone and my father would kill me if I told anyone he hurt me.
Alex lifts his eyebrow, "I, uh, I fell. I'm really clumsy, tripped down some stairs."
He rolls his eyes, obviously not believing the lie that usually works on people, though he doesn't call me out for it. Instead,d he nods and sits down in the chair next to the bed, it's odd because he doesn't really fit in it from being too tall.
I don't know how to feel with him here, I fear he'll suddenly turn on me and be like everyone else in my life, that he'll beat me. It's very unusual for someone to sit with, especially in the hospital, he seems to have stayed for hours and doesn't look like he plans to leave any time soon.
It puts me on edge, I want to know what's going on in his head, I want to know if he's a danger to me because currently, he is, I want to know when he'll start hurting me.
"Why are you here?" I force the question out, feeling my throat tighten in fear of him being offended and slapping or something. I avoid his eyes, staring at my hands under the blanket.
"I wanted to be here when you woke up and I thought I'd explain what happened to your parents when they get here," Alex answers, watching me tense at the mentioning of my parents, my breathing pauses in fear.
If they assume I told anyone what they do, they'd beat me far worse then usual hell they'd kill me. I want to keep my life, it may not be the best but things could change, I want to be around when that happens.
"My parents are coming here? Now? They can't, they can't know." I don't mean to sound as panicked as I do, but it comes out as rushed and fearful as I shake my head, quickly getting a small headache.
It makes Alex sit up and to lean on his spread knees, staring at me intensely, questioning to himself what's wrong with me to hide this from my own parents. His eyes flick to the bruises on my arms and face like he's adding a math problem together, it worries me, what will he do if he figured it out?
Probably nothing, who'd want to help me? I'm shocked he even took me to the nurse.
"The doctors haven't called them yet, I can tell them not to call if you want. Is there something wrong?" I hesitate for a split second, something he notices and makes him eyes narrow as if he's upset, that causes me to feel threatened by him. Did I do something wrong?
I shake my head no as his answer, mumbling a thank you for telling the doctors not to call my family, though my voice is quiet. Alex is quiet for a second, just staring at me but eventually stands to his full height that towers over me even in the bed.
I watch as he goes to the door silently, opening it and poking half his body out to speak to someone, telling them not to call my parents. This turns into a small argument, the doctor saying they are required to call the family but Alex is quick to shut the person down.
"I told you not to call them, I don't care if it's required. Don't fucking do it." His tone is stern, demanding and threatening, and his eyes glare harshly. I imagine that doctor flinched because I did, that's just me but someone of his size speaking that way to someone would cause a tiny bit of fear.
He smirks as he closes the door, turning back into the room and returning to the seat, his eyes never leaving me as he does.
"Your parents aren't coming, so it's just you and me now." He has something like satisfaction in his voice as he says this, his smirk widening as he sees my eyes widen after I blink in confusion.