The Guy Who Gave Up His Jersey(25)
My heart tighten when Ale said that, how could he believe he was in love with me? It made no sense, he made no sense. I try to help him out and tell him to date Arianna and he confuses he is in love with me? Who does that? Why did he do that?
“I’m in love with you Juliana.” He exhaled.
“You-you can’t love me,” I stuttered shaking my head in disagreement.
He stared at me for a brief moment. “And why is that?” He asked me. “Am I not good enough for you?”
“No, you can’t love me! We don’t belong together,” I responded, running my hands through my hair.
He didn’t understand that “us” isn’t a choice; there was no way we would end up together. We could have a past together and maybe we can’t stand living without one another, but we weren’t meant for each other. Our relationship would consist of fights, tears, and anger and I didn’t want that for neither of us.
He put his hand on my cheek, caressing it. “ I know you won’t ever love me back, but for once stand in my shoes and try to feel what I feel.” He whispered.
His hot breathe hit my lips making them quiver. I wanted to move and walk away from him but his brown eyes made me get lost in them, and just like that I went into a daze. I tried to put myself into his shoes, and try to feel what he felt. If I loved him and I saw him with Arianna how would I feel? What would I do?
Imagining them together, holding hands and kissing made a lump form in my throat. It would be something I couldn’t stand, I wouldn’t be able to see him ever again if I loved him and he didn’t love me back. But what he was happy with her? What if we didn’t work out and I destroyed his relationship with her, who would I be to do that?
I put my hands on his and sighed heavily. “Loving me is something you need to get over with Ale. And Im not telling you this because I don’t want you to love me, I’m telling you this because all we’ll do is fight.” I told him sincerely. “I like Control a lot and he makes me happy, I know you have good intentions but for once I’m learning how to love someone.”
“Do you love him?” He questioned me hiding the pain in his voice.
“No, but slowly I feel like I am and I don’t want to let that go.” I responded truthfully.
I took hold of his hand and kissed the inside of it. “I’m sorry.” I whispered.
“If I was never part of the game and I was decent would you have given me the chance to be with you?” I heard him say.
I snapped my head up and saw how his eyes watered. He postured himself keeping himself in one piece. When I first liked him I never knew he was in the game, I thought he was just an average guy. Back then I would have, I would’ve loved being with a guy like him, and we would have probably worked out perfectly.
Alejandro wasn’t a bad guy, in reality he was sweet and nice, but his past is something that’s always going to haunt him. That’s going to keep me from actually ever liking him more than I ever did.
“No.” I lied. “We would’ve never worked out,” I turned my back on him walking out through the front door.
I had to lie to him for many reasons, if it did tell him I would’ve then he wouldn’t let me go. I know for the mean time he is going to hurt and probably he is going to go back to his old ways, but when he gets over it I know he’ll love someone more than he loved me.
I leaned against the door keeping myself together, I didn’t want to go through this anymore. I didn’t want to keep having to deal with him and these mix emotions. Xavier sat on the porch swing looking at me quietly.
“How much did you hear?” I muttered.
“Enough,” He simply said.
I wiped the few tears that managed to escape before sitting down next to him.
“I thought you were supposed to be at the restaurant with everyone else?”
He nodded. “I was but I worried you be sick and I came to check on you, but then I heard you and Ale talking.”
I kicked my feet on the ground avoiding making contact with Xavier.
“You think what I am doing is wrong huh?” I told him timidly.
“Nope. I think you just haven’t matured enough to listen to your true feelings” He said, staring out into the blue.
I laughed dryly. “True feelings? I haven’t developed enough of those to actually pay attention to them,”
Xavier looked at me seriously. “True feelings are always there. And even the coldest person in the person has them. They stay right here.” He pointed to my heart. “Listen to it for a minute and actually pay attention to what it wants.”
“What if my heart is wrong? What if I do get with Ale and I get hurt at the end?” I asked him.
Xavier stood up looking down at me. “We learn from mistakes. Before you find the right person you have to risk it all.” With those wise words he went inside leaving me alone outside.
I hate when he does this, he knows what I should do but instead of telling me he makes this weird wise words. He expects me to understand them and act upon what he told me, but honestly I didn’t know what he tries to say.
“Could I love Alejandro?” I asked myself.
My hearts double beats and my stomach turned into a knot. Was this what Xavier meant? I shook my head, annoyed with myself. I’m full of bullshit, I can’t love anyone, I barely love myself so that was out the question. Loving Ale wasn’t a possibility.
I sat outside until the rest of the guys came back, Arianna avoided me the entire day. Secretly I kept thinking about how I would stand seeing Ari and Ale together. When she first showed up with Ale I just wanted to hit her, and now I had to pretend like I like her just so I convince myself that I don’t hate her. It made no sense.
Control came into our room sitting down on the edge of the bed. “You okay babe?” He asked me, putting his hand on top of mine.
I smiled. “Yeah, I’m just worn out,”
“I bet, you gave me a scare there.” He said. “I didn’t know you had asthma,”
“No one does.” I said laughing quietly.
He stays quiet for a moment. “Are you sure you are okay?” He asked me again.
I nodded. “I’m fine doing worry about me,” I tried convincing him.
He leaned closer to me and stared at me dead in the eyes. “When you say “I’m okay, don’t worry, I worry because I know you are lying to me.” He sighed.
I stuck out my tongue at him rolling my eyes at him. Control climbed on top of me, putting his hands on each side of my face. His blue eyes teased me and small smirk formed in his eyes. I rose a eyebrow at him before rolling my eyes at him again.
“I want my girlfriend to smile.” His cool breathe hit my face.
I shivered under his body. “I am smiling see,” I smiled widely at him.
He lowered his face towards me kissing me on my forehead, than at my nose, before kissing under my jaw. I giggled, it felt weird when he kissed me there, he usually did this when he wanted me to feel better.
“Stop it.” I mumbled, pulling my face away.
“Nope.” He said kissing me hungrily.
He backs away looking at me lustfully. “Someone is in the mood,” I smirked.
He chuckled sexily. “No it just my girlfriend is amazingly gorgeous.”
Grabbing his face I brought his down towards my face, kissing him slowly and passionately. Control and I had never slept with one another, we had our hardcore making out session, but it never went farther than that.
His shirt falls off to the side of the bed; I sat up kissing him on his neck leaving love bites. His hands stayed on my hips as I kept kissing him. Control nibbled on my ear before kissing me again, slowly I felt as his hot hands landed inside my shirt running back and forth down my sides.
“I don’t think we should do this,” He whispered in my ear.
“Why?” I asked him.
“I don’t think you are ready for this and I don’t want something to happen and you to regret it.” He said to me truthfully.
I grabbed his hand from under my shirt and placed it on top of my heart. “Do you feel that?” I looked at him dead in the eyes. “My heart has never beated that rapidly until you came around.”
“I don’t want you to regret this.” He whispered.
“I won’t,” I whispered, kissing him softly.
I didn’t know what got into me, and I could care less anymore. Control was more than just a boyfriend to me; I was beginning to feel as if he was my first true love. Who would have guessed I, Juliana, could start loving someone.
Things started to get heated up and before I knew it I was shirtless as well.
“Hey they want to know-“ Control and I looked up and on the door standing there was Ale.
His eyes traveled from the floor to the bed, grabbing the blanket I covered myself. Control got off the bed putting back on his shirt.
“Sorry I should’ve knocked.” He said looking away from me.
Control laughed. “It’s cool. We will be done in a minute.” He told Ale as he shut the door.
I felt as my face turned red from the embarrassment. What he just saw wasn’t going to make anything better; you could see the hurt on his face.
Control walked over to me, taking my hands off my face. “Well that was awkward,” He chuckled.
I nodded. “Why didn’t you lock the door?” I asked him, giggling.
He shrugged. “I didn’t know it was going to end up like this,” He said childish like.
I rolled my eyes tackling him down back on the bed, kissing him again.
“Well its nice for you to join us,” Demi teased me.
I rolled my eyes grabbing a bottle of water. “I had to get ready,” I defended myself.
“Sure you did. It explains the small hickey you left on Controls neck,” Enrique mocked me.
Control covered his neck, giving Enrique a glare. Xavier tensed up rushing towards me; he moved my head around examining for hickeys.
“You’re sleeping with Linda tonight!” He protested.
I rolled my eyes pushing him out of my way. “You done worse, plus nothing happen.”
“Yeah nothing that you don’t want us to know about,” Linda chuckled.
I flicked her off, going back to Control’s side who by now was drinking a beer. Everything that happened last night seemed to be forgotten, because everyone seemed more relaxed. When Ari and Ale stepped into the kitchen that’s when the tension appeared.
We all grew silent and everyone seemed to be shifting in their seats. Ale avoided eyes contact with me and Arianna did the same. We all jumped when Arianna slammed her drink on the counter.
“Okay this needs to stop!” She snapped. “I don’t want no more shit going on between us two,” She was referring to me.
“You’re the one who pushed me off a cliff,” I shot back at her.
“And I apologize. I wasn’t thinking and I was upset.” She said sincerely.
Ale stood next to her, I noticed how he kept his hand wrapped around her waist, and as if he was afraid she was going to attack me.
“I really don’t want to talk about this. I’m trying to enjoy my spring break.” I responded annoyed.
“I do too, but I want to get one thing straight between us.” She told me.
I tried getting up but Control only slammed my body down back on the chair. “I’m not going to do anything,” I snickered.
“I think you sitting down is best, babe.” He said, quietly.
“I know you used to like Ale and I know you hate seeing me with him, but I want you to understand I’m not a threat and you aren’t a threat to me.” She inhaled. “And I don’t want us to keep fighting because Ale is already mine and he can’t be yours.”
“Arianna please..” Ale begged her.
“What? She needs to know,” She snapped at him.
“Are you trying to us that you two are dating now?” Olive asked her.
She nodded happily. I slammed my hands on the counter jumping off the chair. I smiled at Alejandro who was staring at me. I wasn’t mad or upset, I was happy that’s what he needed to do. I give him props for trying to move on fast, but Arianna was always going to be someone I want to hurt badly.
“I don’t want Alejandro, I have my boyfriend.” I growled angrily at her.
“I know I just want us to cross the line and understand each other.” She assured me.
“I understand you see me as a threat and you understand I won’t ever like you.” I snickered.
Demi caught in between the way crossing her hands against her chest. “Let’s get one thing straight here, you have your boyfriend over there, and you need to stop causing shit. Congrats your dating Ale but don’t try to threaten her.” She defended me.
“Can we just let this go?” Xavier begged us.
I wasn’t trying to start anything here; she was the one that wanted things to be clear. SO fine let’s make things clear. I would make her understand that I don’t play these kinds of games. Alejandro loved me and she probably didn’t know that, but if she kept pushing my buttons she would soon fight the truth.
“Look, let’s just start over okay?” I told her. “We got on the wrong foot and I don’t like that. I don’t want you to see me as a threat which I’m not, but before that happens I just want to let you know I don’t like him.”
“Okay.” She simply said.
I nodded. “Okay. So let’s start over again. Nice to meet you, I’m Juliana.” I told her extending out my hand to her.
She grabbed my hand and shook it. “Nice to meet you. I’m Arianna.” She smiled.
I looked at everyone. “There now we are in good terms, so can we just let this go and have some damn fun?” I asked them.
“Beach party round 2?” Enrique smirked.
They all nodded, the guys and Arianna rushed up the stairs, but Gabriela, Olive, Demi, and Linda stayed in the kitchen. They give me crazy looks.
“What?” I demanded.
“What the fuck was that?” Demi asked me confused.
“Did you hit your head when you jumped off the cliff?” Gabriela made a face.
“No! I rather pretend to like her than hate her.” I muttered under my breath.
“And why is that?” Linda questioned me, amusedly.
“Because right now I would have her on the floor choking to death.” I snapped, drinking down the beer Control left.
Demi tapped her fingertips on the counter. “So I’m guessing you have an evil plan forming in your head?” She tried tempting me.
I didn’t have an evil plan processing, I truly didn’t want to deal with Arianna anymore. For the rest of the year, I was only going to deal with Control and the game. Ale would be graduating in June, and soon he would leave to college and things would get easier for me. But starting tonight he was no longer going to be an issue for me.
Gabriela didn’t keep her eyes off me, she always saw past me, and without telling me another would it seemed like she knew what was going through my mind. She grabbed Demi pulling her up the stairs before she actually gave me an idea to kick Arianna’s ass.
Linda and Olive waited for me to say something them, anything. “I just want to start fresh with Control, I don’t want to worry about Ale or her, or anything else. Right now things are complicated but they aren’t a mess. I have a guy that truly cares about me and I don’t want to let that go,” I told them.
“And don’t. I know whatever you decide and whatever actions you proceed on is because you are one hundred percent sure that’s what you want,” Linda responded.
Olive agreed with her. “We just want to see you in peace Julie,” She assured me, giving me a tight hug.
I nodded. “Let’s just go and enjoy the rest of the week.” I told them running up the stairs.
Let’s just enjoy the rest of the week without fights, confessions, and problems, but deep inside we all knew that was too much to ask for. Truly we all knew life wasn’t like that and sadly things didn’t stay as simple as we wanted them too. They turned worse…
Soooo I like this chapter lol;D
A little dramatic I know! But whoa I finally was able to write away! And guess what My new story is going to be up soon!
Sadly I have to announce the count down to the last chapter starts, so these last chapters are going to be nothing but twisted and shocking;D
Adice: Keep a box of kleenx and wear two pairs of socks on!!
Chapters remaining: 6
55 Votes for next chapter;D