Chapter 27 - Yes!
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CHAPTER 27 - YES!
I watched her as she came jogging towards her locker, late, like she always is. It brought a light smile to my lips as I thought of how cute she looked with her face reddened because she'd run all the way here.
I was leaning on the wall beneath the stairs, officially, hanging out with my so called friends, actually, waiting for her to show up. I don't deny it's my biggest reason for getting up in the morning. Seeing her. At least that. I can't have her, but at least I can rejoice of her beautiful face.
When last week I saw Nathan gripping her arm,I nearly lost it. And when I saw him again,outside school,in his environment... well,lucky him that there I had a role to play,otherwise he would have regretted the day he met me, believe me.
But I don't want to think about my problems. It's all settled when it comes to Natalie. They won't bother her again. It goes to detriment of my own feelings,but it was necessary.
Well,like I said,at least I get to see her. My reason to get up in the morning. I get to see her. Why do you think I am always beneath these stairs when school starts? My locker is in the other side of the school. If I'm here,it's because from this position I can enjoy the sight of my lovely Natalie without her or anybody really noticing. I can watch her laugh with her new friend, carefree and as beautiful as always. I can watch those brown eyes fill with joy as she laughs. I can enjoy that amazing smile. Even if from afar only.
But my good mood faded soon. Because I saw him approaching her with that fake smile of his, the one that's been winning him everybody's favor, while I perfectly know he's rotten to the core.
Making my heart sink, Natalie greeted him cheerfully, clearly happy to see him. She's never like that when she sees me. Actually, when she sees me she looks like she wants to flee. I scare her, I know I do, but at this point, I wouldn't even know how to show her I'd never ever hurt her. She's been being a bit more confident around me,yes,but still...she's wary. Like she feels like I'm gonna snap all of a sudden and be what everybody sees me as but with her I can't bring myself to be.
But after all, between one like Kyle, straight A student, never gets in trouble, always so kind with everybody, popular and crap like that, and one like me ... the school's nightmare, always getting in trouble, visiting the principal's office almost every day ... anybody would choose him. Even my damn father chose him.
I tuned out Floyd and Dominic muttering their usual nonsense as I, against my every self preservation instinct, watched as that jerk engulfed her in his lies and fake kindness.
I'm actually surprised it took him so long to notice her. Normally he's pretty perceptive. I'd like to think he likes her for real, but I know he's just playing with her naiveté. Because he knows it irks me.
She has been head over heels for him since he came swaggering in, his huge ego with him, four years ago. When her eyes, that day of four years ago, landing on him, lit up, I knew I was screwed. I knew I'd just lost her for good.
Do you know how it hurts to witness your beloved one falling for somebody else? Do you know how damn painful it is to act like nothing while all she's ever doing is rip your heart into pieces? Well,I can tell you it hurts. Damn bad. Worse than anything I've ever endure and, believe me,if I told you what I've been through,you'd either scream in shock or pity me.
But it hurts worse to swallow,every damn day,the need to tell her the truth and watch her as she falls for him. It hurts like Hell. It hurts like fuckin Hell to love someone that'll never love you back.
It's my fault too that I've been acting so coldly with her, I know. I've been acting like I never even acknowledged her existence while in fact, I'd known she was the most beautiful creature I'd ever set my eyes on since that day in fourth grade.
Grudgingly, I took my books from my new locker. Moving in sucks. Why on earth did mom have to get married again? We could have made it alone. Back in Washington, or we could have moved to Boston, where uncle Sam said he'd take care of us, but no ... she had to meet this mighty businessman and force me to leave my friends.
I already miss them. I've talked to Claudia over the phone yesterday night, but it's not the same. We've grown up together and we swore to never part, we swore that not her future boyfriend or my future girlfriend would divide us, but ... we were wrong apparently.
Why on Earth does such a mighty businessman live in an unknown town like this, I still don't get.
Adjusting my backpack on my shoulder as I closed my locker, I glanced around, taking in my surroundings. The school doesn't seem too bad. I guess I should, as uncle Sam suggested, look at the bright side: I'll make new friends.
Just as I thought that, my eyes landed on a cute brown-haired girl that was running down the hall, looking desperate. I smiled when I realized she was late, that's why she looked like that. She stopped at a locker not too far from mine and I couldn't take my eyes off her. When she glanced at me, despite being nervous, I gave her my best smile and she smiled back, melting my little heart.
Right then I knew uncle Sam was right maybe. Maybe this new school couldn't be too bad.
"Eric?" I was taken back to reality when I felt a hand on my arm. I glanced down, well, more like glared, and the hand was immediately retrieved, followed by Floyd's apologies. He knows I don't like being touched, they all know I don't like physical contact, not even in the slightest bit. Well, except for the one with girls, of course.
I didn't even reply to my friend, my eyes just travelled once more to Natalie's locker. But she was gone, and a tight knot formed in my stomach when I noticed her heading down the hall, towards the gym, with him.
Sure as hell she doesn't have that class now. Call me a freak, but I kind of know her schedule, yes. So, leaving Floyd and Dominic without a word, I headed to the gym as well, knowing I shouldn't, because if I saw something I didn't like, I knew for sure this would be the last day on Earth for my half-brother.
I giggled when we stepped into the lockers room, Kyle following behind. We'd been talking since a while when he suggested we'd move to somewhere more private. I argued that we had class, but he said Mr. Egret, our Art teacher, a class we have in common, is always late and in any case too distracted, so he wouldn't even notice if we arrived five minutes after due. I just agreed, unable to resist to that lovely smile that he always wears, no matter what. It's so cute.
"What are we doing here?" I asked, glancing around. There was, obviously, no one. There is never anybody in here so early, because Gym class is never this early in the morning. No idea why. So we were alone. Me and Kyle. Alone in a lockers room. Part of me giggled, the other ... well, the other was still too confused.
It's been almost a week since last time I faced Eric, when that boy practically tried to kidnap me, I mean. It was last Thursday, now it was Tuesday. I haven't heard of Eric since then and I've barely seen him, but we've settled for meeting today at Fran's, because our fairy tale was chosen for the recital, so we had to do a brainstorming and see what we wanted to cut, because it couldn't be portrayed entirely.
Of course, I needed to discuss that with Kyle too, but I did that yesterday in class, where Mr. Enigma didn't deign to show up, so I texted him, asking if we could meet and talk about it. Amazingly, considering he's been not just avoiding me, but also cutting class, he agreed, saying we'd meet when school ended today. He said at Sophie's, but I have the feeling he'll ditch me, so I think I'm just gonna wait by his car.
It's amazing, you know. After I faced him last week, I feel regenerated. Like I can face anything, like the courage, the verve I never thought I had, was brought to life. Part of me even dared me to face Dana and tell her everything I never had the guts to, but that'd be too much.
Eric might be lenient with me because he apparently cares, even though, he's got a bit of a weird way of showing it, but Dana ... well, Dana has been hating me since forever and I don't know why, and considering that, even if I was just passive, I practically kissed her boyfriend last week, I wouldn't want to slip on my tongue and dig my own grave with my words.
"Couldn't you tell me what you needed to out there?" I questioned, although I wasn't that unhappy of being here alone with him.
Kyle smiled as he approached me, till my back hit one of the lockers. I felt my heart explode when his hand caressed my cheek, that lovely smile still lingering on his lips.
"I wanted a moment alone with you, Nat. May I?" He told me. I grinned, nodding, and he leaned his forehead on mine, letting me feel his hot breath against my jaw, which had me feel lightheaded.
Certainly he wasn't about to ... oh, no, he did! He did! Kyle's lips pressed on mine and his other hand reached my cheek too as he deepened the kiss.
I had no idea what to do, I mean, I've never kissed anybody, but, smiling, Kyle reassured me lowly: "Just let yourself go, Nat. Don't worry. I'm not gonna hurt you. Never would."
That kiss felt odd, it wasn't even close to the annihilating and addicting and intoxicating one Eric gave me just last week. His was just a peck on the lips and yet I felt like fainting. Why did he kiss me, I have no idea, I mean, he seems to hate me, he's always so cold, well, back to cold, so harsh with me ... I mean, he's been ignoring me since last week. I even swallowed my pride and texted him on Saturday, asking if he had time to talk to me, but he didn't reply.
I guess all I figured about us being sort of friends was my imagination. I guess he kissed me out of instinct and it didn't mean anything to him, but he feels like I want more ... which I don't, I can assure you. I was just confused because that was my first kiss, but nothing else, believe me.
Besides, he has Dana. Even though, I haven't seen them together, but their relationship is supposed to be a secret, so I am not supposed to see them around holding hands and acting like lovebirds, which I am thankful for because it'd be maddening, I mean ... disgusting, I mean ... well, I don't like seeing couples make out, ok? I don't like them in general. It's not that seeing Eric kiss his girlfriend would bother me, because I can assure you, it never would.
Probably feeling I was spacing out, Kyle better squeezed my cheeks, pressing himself against me and deepening the kiss, so that I did my best to keep up and ... I think I was able to, because in the end it felt almost normal and pleasant.
Uncontrollably, I let out a tiny moan as I raked my hands through Kyle's black hair, well, that mess he calls hair. He smiled against my lips as our bodies grew closer, so much that my chest was pressed against his.
But something was wrong ... it didn't feel as breathtaking and mind-blowing as I always thought it would. It felt like something was missing, like ... there was a mistake in the odds, because ...
"Eric ..." I was moaning his name before I could realize it. My eyes fluttered open as I did that, but Kyle didn't move away, even if I'd just moaned his archenemy's name out loud while kissing him! Yet he kissed me harder, making the room steamier, or at least I felt like that, his hands gripping my hips ... till I pulled back, needing to breathe.
I glanced at him, who didn't let me go, was still holding me tightly. I had apologies ready, but he seemed uncaring. Either he didn't hear me or simply didn't care. The latter could be easily explained if this is just an easy make out session and nothing more to him, which, oddly, made me feel sad, but not that sad as I would be normally.
"Unfortunately, we need to head to class now." Kyle murmured, forehead on mine, panting a little too, just as I was. After all, even if it felt different like how I would have expected it, it was still pleasant and it took my breath away. Literally.
"But ... I have to ask ... will you go out with me tonight, Nat?" My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat. A date. With Kyle! The 'yes!' stumbled out of my mouth before I could even think it over.