The Angel,The Devil,The Nerd

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Chapter 49 - No Way!

WARNING: this chapter contains sexual contents

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"Do you have everything?" Eric asked me from my doorframe. Grinning, I turned to him and showed him my thumbs up, making him smile. Once I'd zipped my bag, he pulled off the doorframe and came to me to pick it up, taking the chance to steal a kiss before heading downstairs.

Mom reached us at the door and handed me a paper bag, saying there were muffins for our trip. Grinning, I argued that I'd already prepared triple chocolate muffins for the purpose, but she retorted that she knew that, she'd found the ingredients ready and everything, and she also knew that if I'd made such effort, it was certainly because my boyfriend like that type, so she made some more for the other two people travelling with us.

Where are we going? To a cabin in the woods, for Spring Break. Our school postpones it to mid-April normally, but this time principal Roberts made an exception an anticipated it of a week. Not really a big change, but whatever. As soon as we knew, Kyle proposed we go to his family's cabin in the woods and of course, how could we refuse?

Things between him and Aisha are going with flying colors, after that first date, they've been going out almost every night and they're practically glued to each other, which has me and Eric mocking them as they mocked us just a few weeks ago, but we have fun altogether.

This weekend is going to be awesome, I feel it. After that, the school will officially enter the prom atmosphere, since it's in three weeks, but important for me is, I will receive the response from colleges. I'm so excited, so anxious, so ... everything! I haven't quite made up my mind yet, but Yale and NYU are in pole position, though the latter might win because it's cheaper. Mom says I should pick whatever I want, she can afford it and she's sure I'll win a scholarship anyway, but ... if everything goes South, there's a last resort: my third-grade cousin, Jake.

Mom talked to him a few months ago, she said, and he's willing to help. I was flustered and a bit aggravated when she told me, I mean, why did she ask someone we barely talk to? But then she told me that she didn't ask, he offered. I honestly have never even met this guy, he's been around the world quite a bit, but mom kind of knows him, says he's reliable, comes off as harsh and cold, but he's not bad. Reminds me of someone ... by chance, my cousin is dark blonde too, just with hazel-green eyes instead of blues.

Anyway, mom travelled to New York last September, to see uncle Peter, and she bumped into Jake, who was there to see his own sister, Serene. Said they talked and caught up, she was surprised because she hadn't seen him since his father's funerals 15 years ago and apparently Jake has changed much, looks definitely harsher than before, which she justifies with the things that have happened to him, things she doesn't quite know, uncle Peter only hinted at some bad experiences my cousin had, but wasn't precise. You see? Even more similarities with some boy I know ...

Anyhow, I was saying, mom caught up with this Jake and they've kept in contact a bit, nothing much, just a couple of texts now and then, but she told him about me, well, he asked how was I doing, I mean, my cousin obviously knows about me, duh, we've just never had the chance to meet in person. His branch of the Watson family is a little bit ... messy apparently, but they're the rich ones, given how huge the Watson Enterprises are.

And that's the thing. Jake asked mom about me, said he was curious about meeting his cousin and frankly flustered that he'd never had the chance in 18 years. Mom told him I was about to start my senior year (it was September, remember?) and he asked if I'd picked a college already, so she gave him my list and he asked why didn't I take a shot at Harvard, mom said I never thought of it and he argued that the name Watson, well, his branch of the family, was quite grand there, so I'd certainly have a good start. Mom just said she'd tell me about it, and he gave her his number.

I talked to my cousin the same days I was applying for colleges and he convinced me to seriously take a shot at Harvard, saying mom told him what a perfect student I was and certainly they wouldn't miss the chance to have me among them. I was honest, because he sounded genuinely interested and nice, not as harsh as mom says he comes off as, and admitted I knew I couldn't afford it, it'd be a pure miracle if I was able to afford Yale too.

Wanna know his reaction? He laughed. Jake just laughed. Saying money was no problem, he was sure I'd get a scholarship, and even if I didn't, I am family, he said, so he'd see to help me. I refused, saying I couldn't take advantage of his kindness, considering I didn't even know him, but he said we were cousins, so family, even if of the distant kind, hence, he was very willing to help me.

Actually, Jake assured me that if I picked Harvard I was certain to be welcome in Boston because he'd take care of me. Honestly, I blushed. I mean, I have never even met him, barely knew about his existence, mom told me about these relatives we had but lost contact with years ago, yes, but I didn't know him neither his sister or uncle.

Jake said Serene would be delighted to meet me, she lives in New York, studies at Julliard, and maybe I'd be more comfortable with her because she's just four years older than I and is a girl, while he's an "old man on his way to the thirties", to which I laughed, but when I ceased, my cousin assured me I had his support for everything if I needed it, so if I picked Harvard, he'd welcome me in Boston with open arms, taking care of me as he'd already promised to my mother, but if I picked New York, as I suggested maybe I would, it was fine anyway, the Watson family (always his branch) has a few homes there, so I obviously could have a free apartment if I didn't feel like sleeping in the dorms, and there was his sister there, he'd talk to her and she'd certainly beam at the idea of having a "little sister to spoil".

I've been randomly talking to my cousin in these months and a bit with his sister too, though December was a tough period for Jake, something about his girlfriend being trapped in a hospital, but it's apparently everything fine now, or at least he says so.

I've talked to him just last week. Says he confirms his offer, the one he made a few weeks after our first talk: whatever college I pick, he's gonna be glad to back me up, in every possible way, which indirectly means he's willing to pay for my college fees, something I had to refuse firmly, not wanting to fluster mom, but Jake said I know where to find him if I need anything, he's just a phone call away. So sweet, isn't he? I already like my cousin, really.

So, the thing is, by next week I should receive the responses from colleges and I'll decide, but whatever I pick, I have two certainties: my boyfriend will follow me wherever I go, my cousin gave me his word he will back me up in every way possible.

Uncle Peter too says he'll back me up, but differently from my cousin he doesn't have pretty much unlimited resources and he's got a family to take care of, so it'd be pretty stupid to ask for his financial help, which Jake is so willing to give, even saying that if I don't feel like accepting it for free, I can always do an internship at his publishing house if I pick Boston, which will be useful for both of us. I'm honestly tempted, but we'll see.

Anyhow, me, Eric, Aisha and Kyle were heading to Kyle's cabin in the woods, which is by the lake, so it's gonna be awesome, and Jamie too will join us there, so, like I said, this weekend will be incredible. Now, Eric and I saluted mom, who'd take the chance to spend four romantic days with Michael, as I suggested, and we reached our friends, who were waiting for us leaning on Eric's car.

It's nice, you know. After years of invisibility, only Jamie seeing me in that school, now I have an awesome group of friends and an incredible boyfriend. The last boy I'd ever imagine could be my boyfriend, I shall admit. Because, remember, that I'd fall for Eric Rivers, I never saw it coming. Though now that I have, I'm the happiest girl on Earth.


When I stepped off the car, I could only awe. Already from the outside the cabin looked amazing, imagine on the inside! And it was directly on the lake, I mean, the porch faced the lake directly, we could sit down and dip our feet into the water. Awesome.

I'd barely made two steps to follow my friends inside that I was practically tackled, so much I yelped and Eric turned to me alarmed. It took me a moment to realize, but no, nothing had attacked me, I just had a petite redhead excitedly squeezing me in her arms, telling me how much she'd missed me, it had been ages and so many things had changed since then. Jamie, of course.

I could see Eric amusedly shaking his head and walking inside behind Aisha and Kyle while my best friend engulfed me in one of her bone-crushing hugs. Last time we saw each other I was denying I had any sort of feelings for Eric, now ... now I was in a very happy relationship with him. Things have indeed changed.

But not just for me, as Jamie pointed out. In fact, once she'd regained her composure, more or less, and had let go of me, she moved away to show me this pretty tall guy with tousled jet black hair and sea-green eyes that smiled warily at me as he grazed the back of his neck.

What struck me immediately was that, while being perfectly fit, he wasn't the muscular type Jamie likes and he seemed, at a first look, pretty opposite to her in character too, but ... not to look rude, I shrugged my doubts off and smiled at him, stretching my hand to shake his. Jamie introduced him as her boyfriend, obvious, named Joseph, well, Joe, as he likes to be called. They met just a few weeks ago and have been dating since.

"I knew I'd be surrounded by lovey-doveys, you and Rivers being the worst, so ..." Jamie wrapped her arm around Joe, making him blush a little as she kissed his cheek. "... I thought I'd take company with me."

I grinned. Joe awkwardly wrapped his arm around Jamie but looking at me as he spoke: "Uh ... I hope you guys don't mind ... Jay insisted, saying she'd be the fifth wheel and would feel lonely and ..." He gazed at her, smiling widely, especially as she raised her head to meet his eyes. "... well, I can't say no to my favorite reddie."

Jamie giggled as she hid her face in his neck and he kissed her head. Oh, so that was the secret she was to tell me ... in these weeks she's mentioned she had some news but never wanted to tell me, saying she'd rather wait to see if it worked. Now I realize she meant she wanted to see if their relationship sailed.

Smiling at both of them, I assured Joe: "No problem. As you can see, the cabin is pretty big, there's place for all of us." He nodded, but then his eyes landed on the redheaded girl snugly leaning her head on his shoulder, looking pretty dreamy, actually, as dreamy as I've never seen her, and Joe grinned.

That was my cue to leave, afraid they'd forget I was there and get lost in a lovey-dovey moment ... now I understand how Kyle and Aisha have felt these weeks, having me and Eric acting as lovebirds ...

Anyway, I headed inside with nothing more than my shoulder bag, considering my mindful boyfriend had already taken my and his bag. I just informed Jamie and Joe that we waited for them inside.

And what an "inside" that was. The cabin wasn't huge, but it was amazing. Everything wooden, it looked really comfy and perfect for every season. When I entered the kitchen I found Kyle and Aisha settling our groceries, well, more like ... making out against the sink, groceries all sprawled on the small island.

Rolling my eyes, I turned on my heels and headed upstairs, sure to find Eric in our bedroom settling our things. Between the lovebirds in the kitchen and the ones outside, I only felt like I missed my own boyfriend's lips, so ...

Eric was, as predicted, in our bedroom, unpacking. I took a moment to enjoy the sight of the muscles on his back tightening as he moved, unable to keep the grin.

To think that, only a few months ago, that same thing scared me, now I was barely able to keep myself from giggling at the thought of how well I know those muscles ... those muscles that are almost every night wrapping me up in a protective and loving embrace, those muscles that are honestly so arousing when he hangs around my bedroom half naked in the morning ... oh, and wanna talk about his hoarse voice when he wakes up? Hmm ... delightful.

Trying to be sly, I tiptoed towards him and startled him by wrapping my arms around him from behind, placing a kiss on his muscled back. Eric chuckled, informing me he'd already felt I was there ogling him, which normally would have had me blush, but honestly, after all these weeks, I know his body so well and love it so much that sometimes I find myself picturing him undressed when I see him in the hall ...

Eric turned around and wrapped his own arms around me, but only to sit on bed and pull me onto his lap, so that I was straddling him, knees bent. I giggled at the tingly feeling I felt for being so clearly against his crotch, but quite simply leaned in to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. Times likes this, I wish time would freeze and we'd stop right at this moment, with us so lost in our romantic kiss that seemed never-ending, everyone of our kisses always being a constant remark of our love.

But ... I felt shivers down my spine when Eric's hands started roaming my back, slipping beneath my white t-shirt quite soon and gripping my hips firmly as he made me grind against him a little, but only to bring me closer and kiss me better. In response I dug my fingers in his hair, making him emit a low groan and tighten his grip on me as I grinded against him some more, not entirely unconsciously, I'll admit. We've got so used to each other's body that we perfectly know our erogenous zones and it's so easy to activate them ... in fact, I could already feel the slightest hint of an erection against my core.

Maybe we felt both a little hyper, considering last night we didn't sleep together while we're so used to ... well, doing it almost every night. Oh, Gee, it sounds so odd! Not dirty, just odd. I'm losing my prudery piece by piece, I'm a woman already and there's really nothing wrong with admitting that my boyfriend and I make love to each other almost every night, is there? Nothing wrong with admitting that I get easily wet when my boyfriend's hands are on me, is there? Nothing wrong with admitting that I like trying new things with him and pleasuring him in a specific way as much as he pleasures me, is there?

Judging by how Eric's hands quickly travelled up to my breasts, the bulge in his jeans growing as well as the moisture in my panties, we were in for it and we would have inaugurated the bed already ... hadn't Miss Jamie Worst Timing In The World Mitchell brought us back to reality by informing us that they were waiting for us downstairs to have dinner.

She giggled when, turning around, I glared at her. Disappointed, I stood up and she blew me a kiss before heading out, telling us to get a move, we could indulge in dirty moments later. I rolled my eyes, but regained my composure, just as Eric did ... in a quite different way. I'll admit that my eyes did fall on his crotch, and I'll admit that I did purse my lips as I stared and I had to press my legs not to let the arousal win. Well, we're gonna have to wait just a couple of hours more apparently ... we can resist, can't we?


I swear, I've never been so eager to go to bed. We spent the evening sitting outside, on the porch, chatting and playing, though we were all too clearly split in couples, I mean, we were all sitting at the edge of the porch, feet in the water, but we girls were kind of almost completely sitting on our boys' laps, snuggled up to them as if the rest of the world barely existed.

At some point, by 11, Aisha whispered something in Kyle's ear and then stood up ... he followed her right after, Jamie giggling as she advised them not to be too loud, the cabin wasn't huge, we'd hear them. Aisha quite simply grinned as she turned around and, sticking out her tongue, gave us the same advice. The only blushing ones were Joe and I, Eric and Jamie seemed only amused.

"You know, this kinda looks like Jersey Shore or something." Jamie commented once Aisha and Kyle were inside, heading to their room, of course. The cabin had three bedrooms, two of which with matrimonial beds, but the single bed where Jamie and Joe would sleep was quite big, so no problem.

You see, even if none of us ever mentioned the thing, we all took for granted each of us would sleep with his/her significant other. Pretty obvious, right? I didn't even consider the thing. I mean, I'm perfectly used to sleeping in Eric's arms, Aisha has been telling me about her encounters with Kyle, though never giving me details because I don't want to hear them, considering then I'd look at him differently, so it was obvious they'd sleep together here too, and Jamie and Joe ... please, I know my best friend all too well, if she brought her boyfriend, I don't think she ever considered sleeping in a different room from his. Though I grimaced at her idea of all of us resembling that hideous TV show.

"Come on, it's true. At some point they head to their rooms to do the deed. I'm counting the minutes before Rivers stands up." Jamie added, seeing my face.

Eric frowned. "Why do you suppose it'll be me?"

"Because you guys were interrupted. And because you're the one known for not being able to keep it in the pants, honey."

I gave her a dirty look and she stuck out her tongue to me, but I pointed out, kind of better snuggling up to my boyfriend: "Rumors are not reliable, Jay." She rolled her eyes, though grinning, especially as she mockingly complained about me having become my boyfriend's guardian, always defending him, no matter what. I rolled my eyes as well, abandoning myself to Eric's arms as I confirmed her words: "People talk without knowing. It's only fair I point out the truth."

She snorted. "Yeah, just say that nobody can touch your precious Eric."

I grinned, sticking out my tongue to her as I, now completely sitting on my boyfriend's lap, smacked a wet kiss on his cheek and confirmed: "Damn right, nobody touch my love!"

Eric laughed, but better squeezed me against him as he kissed my cheek as well. Joe laughed with him, but his girlfriend, who was mimicking my position by sitting on his lap, arms around him just as his were around her, gasped as she theatrically asked: "Gosh, Rivers, what have you done to my best friend? I barely recognize her!"

Eric once more laughed as I giggled, finding him just too adorable. I pointed out, honestly, that I feel much better like this, free of my fears, well, almost completely, more self confident. I believe in myself, Eric made me believe in myself, giving me strength and raising my self esteem. It's awesome.

That had my best friend genuinely smile as she earnestly thanked my boyfriend: "I've spent years trying to succeed and I never could. I'm glad you completed that mission, Eric. Truly. Our Natty deserves this and more."

I honestly blushed, hiding my face in my boyfriend's neck, barely hearing him reply as he rubbed my scalp: "It's not me. She just needed the right push. That's all."

In the end, we all grinned, silence draping over us like a comfortable blanket for a few minutes, we girls tenderly cuddling to our boys, better said, we girls abandoning ourselves in our boyfriends' arms and letting them cuddle us tenderly. Though I spied my best friend a little, and the way she smiled at Joe, the way she looked at him, grinning at everything he told her ... maybe it's just me that see love everywhere lately, but I smell deeper feelings here.

That Joe is head over heels for her, that's just too clear, I've seen that throughout the evening, but Jamie ... I've never seen her that into a boy. Maybe only that 20-years-old guy that took her virginity two years ago might compete, but judging by her dreamy look, he's been completely forgotten and replaced by cute Joseph here. Well, I'm happy for her. And I like Joe, he's funny, even while being a little shy at first.

I don't know how long passed that we were silent and peaceful like that, but at some point Jamie stood up and grabbed Joe's hand, barely giving him time to wish us goodnight as she dragged him inside the cabin.

I'm honestly confused as to how comes that one like her, so spicy, such a force of nature, has ended up with a calm boy like him. I mean, Aisha is twice as energetic as Jamie, but Kyle can easily cope with her, he's pretty goofy too, so I think they kind of found each other, but Joe is pretty different from my best friend. Though I guess that's one sign they're made to be together maybe.

Eric regained my attention when he rubbed my back, halfway between tender and ... meaningful. In fact: "So ... how about we head inside too?" I giggled, pointing out that it wasn't really gentlemanly of him to so bluntly suggest a specific thing, but he argued that he'd only suggested we follow our friends' example and go to bed.

"Yeah, and what do you think they're doing in the secrecy of their rooms?" I asked mockingly, though moving to straddle him.

He smirked as his hands slipped beneath my t-shirt, gripping my hips in a very significant way. His lips brushed mine but went south, landing on my neck as he gave himself time to point out: "Just a faint version of what we will, I guess." Before starting to nibble on it, so intensely that I couldn't help but let out a strangled moan, my hands gripping a handful of his hair as I grinded against him a little.

Honestly, I already felt aroused. I let myself go to his sensual game as his hands roamed my body, quite soon coming up to knead my breasts as his lips never left my neck and if they did, it was only to capture my own lips.

Unable to resist, at some point I broke our kiss and stood up, mimicking my friends as I grabbed Eric's hand and dragged him inside the cabin, pretty eager to get to our room. Though we pretty much stumbled inside, already working to take off each other's clothes.

The first thing to come off was his t-shirt, as I needed to ogle his perfect muscles so badly, and what a sight that was ... Eric pushed me towards the bed, closing the door with his foot as he slipped my own t-shirt over my head. I giggled when he cupped my boobs, kind of pushing me back on bed, though I didn't fall on it, just hit the edge with my calves.

We kissed and when his lips moved to my neck to nibble on it some more, I moaned lowly but eagerly grabbed the hem of his jeans, quickly unbuckling them and sliding them down his body just as he unclipped my bra and let my boobs break free. He particularly likes playing with them, so the first thing he did was starting to knead them, making me moan some more, his lips always on my neck, hitting exactly that spot of mine I've come to know it's so weak.

I was enterprising as well, just as I've learnt to be these past weeks with practice, so, once he'd blindly gotten rid of his jeans, I let my hands slip inside hid plaid boxers and squeeze his hot buttocks as I pulled him better against me, moaning at the hot sensation his warm and hard chest gave me by being against mine.

Eric's hands soon moved to my own Bermuda shorts, unfastening my belt and unbuckling them quickly, making me moan a bit louder as he slipped inside my panties, immediately finding my already slick core. He started playing with my clit, rubbing it in circles, pinching it, as he normally does, which always weakens me a little, so I found it a bit hard to go through with my plans, but in the end I did, so my hands slipped inside the front of his boxers, wrapping around his manhood, already so incredibly hard.

Eric groaned against my skin, but didn't cease his game and my knees buckled when he slipped two fingers inside my needy core, starting to slowly pump in and out once he was sure he wouldn't hurt me, though I was so wet already that it was pretty easy. At that point I fell back on bed, but only sitting, forcedly leaving his manhood because as he pumped a little faster I felt only weaker.

Though I quickly regained my composure and, even if reluctantly, because it'd mean losing that pleasure, even if only momentarily, using his own body as leverage I flipped us and made Eric lie on his back, me straddling his crotch. I could read it in his eyes that he knew what was I up to and he obviously liked the idea, so I went through: I moved a bit down and slipped his boxers off once for all, but before doing anything else, I removed my own shorts as well, remaining only in my panties, which I didn't take off only because I know Eric likes doing it by himself and I love the feeling of his touch as he lets them slowly and sensually slide down my body.

Positioning just a bit beneath his hot zone, I moved my hair to the side after having passed him my glasses so that he could safely place them on the nightstand, and I grabbed his manhood, making him let out a choked moan. The first time I did this, I was truly inexpert, didn't have the slightest idea of what to do and it didn't really worked, but I've had practice in these weeks, so I think I've quite improved and, to be honest, I like doing it to him. I like the reactions I get and I like how it makes me feel too, considering how soaked my own panties get every time I go down on him.

Much more confidently, compared to the first times, I bent down more, my hand still around him, and I took the tip in my mouth, licking it slowly, gaining very pleasured moans already, clear sign he was really eager. This time was different from the others because I was ready to give him something I never did, better said, I was ready to take something I never took from him ...

I gotta be honest, I've kind of ... watched a couple of videos to learn more about these "jobs" and learned a few useful tricks I was all willing to try now. It felt really wrong and shameful, but I did my best to think of my boyfriend of the greater pleasure I could give him if I learned, so, after having anxiously closed the browser something like ... a dozen times, at my 13th attempt I was able to at least start the video, but only at my 15th attempt I was able to watch it thoroughly without ever closing my eyes. Yeah, I know, I know, Jamie's right, I'm a prude missy, but in my defense, I honestly thought it was disgusting.

Though it's a bit incoherent, considering that watching other people do it feels disgusting but doing it myself feels arousing. I guess it's something about feeling as if I was peeping on someone, so it was really weird and embarrassing and shameful and ... did I say disgusting? Though I forced myself to woman up and do it. Just to better pleasure my boyfriend.

I let my mouth take him inside a little more, just enough for my lips to come in contact with my own hand that was still around him, and when it did, I pulled back, pulling him completely out. I looked up at him, who was watching me mesmerized as I stroked him with my hand.

I grinned, conscious that he was just as surprised as I was at my being so quick to learn these things. Though it's been a few weeks, so it's only fair I've learned, and again, those videos really do help, for how exaggerated they are. Judging by how he rolled his eyes to the back of his head when I started stroking him faster, I was doing a good job.

When I bent down again, eyes on him, my hair was in the way, but Eric quickly grabbed a handful of it and kept it to the side. He hissed as I took him once more in my mouth, slowly and inch by inch, till he was entirely inside, but while he'd reached the back of my throat, there was part of him that didn't fit my small mouth ...

That part, I covered hit with my hand, the same hand I used to play with his sacks as I slowly picked up a steady rhythm in my sucking on him, making him moan so wildly that at some point his hips buckled and he started meeting my mouth with his own thrusts, his hand bobbing my head. He normally does that, takes control, but this time I didn't let him. This time I pulled him out of my mouth completely, grinning mischievously when he frowned.

Once I was sure he'd got the hint, I took him in my mouth once again, restarting to suck at a steady rhythm, speeding up soon while my fingers played with his sacks. Eric was moaning wildly and as I felt him throbbing inside my mouth, I knew he was close, which made me grin and start humming a little, which I've learnt from some ... specific videos that it's just as arousing as the rest, because the boy feels the vibrations.

Gee, I honestly never thought I'd get to know such things and be so comfortable with them, but I was, and while the idea of having watched peculiar videos was still really embarrassing and I think I'd never admit it even to Eric, I wasn't that ashamed as I was in the beginning. Especially as Aisha confirmed me she did watch them too in the beginning, actually, one of her ex's demanded they watch them together and then reenact those scenes.

Weird, she said, but she couldn't help admitting that she kind of enjoyed it and ... well, she also admitted she does now and then click on specific sites, just for fun. Better said, she used to before starting to date Kyle, because she was coming from a long period of abstinence.

You know, old me would have been really flustered, but new Natalie doesn't really care, it's nothing so awful. I've changed so much so quickly ... I guess Eric is right, I only needed the right push. Though don't think I've become one of those libertine girls, eh. I just like improving my moves to pleasure my boyfriend. Is that wrong?

Now, my humming only brought Eric closer to his bliss, so that he squirmed a little, warning me that he was close, as he normally does, but this time I didn't pull back and he watched me curiously. Naughtily fixing my eyes on him as I kept sucking steadily, I hinted, just with my eyes, that I was ready.

He gulped, asking me, even if among moans and quite weakly, if I was sure, but in response I simply sped up and he moaned louder, shooting his head back, though I pinched his thigh ... I wanted him to watch. I've learnt, always from those videos, that boys like it and they like to watch, so ... besides, Eric too always likes to watch me as I go down on him, tonight he was just too distracted by my new moves.

Gripping his thighs, I sucked harder, letting him reach the back of my throat, slowing down only when I felt him explode inside my mouth. As a first time, I grimaced at the bittersweet and salty taste of that liquid and honestly, taking it all was a bit hard, but I managed to swallow most of it.

I felt it descend down my throat and reach my stomach and it was sooo odd, but ... sort of ... pleasant ... some of it was also on my chin and once I'd gone past the weird feeling of having, as a matter of fact, Eric's seed swimming in my stomach, I reached for my face to clean myself up, but my boyfriend prevented me, pulling up and wiping away the remaining of that white liquid that actually felt sticky too, though I'm used to having it shot on my breasts, on my chin was just weird.

Eric raised my chin and I met his grin, which caused me to smile widely too, especially as he kissed me deeply, letting me move to straddle him by sitting on his thighs, beneath his hot zone enough not to be on it but also enough to feel the heat radiating out of that specific muscle of his. I've changed, yes, but I still can call it with a proper name. Better said, I can almost scientifically call it manhood or even length, but nothing more than that. After all, I still don't call my own core with its proper name.

"How do you feel?" Eric asked me, hand on my cheek, forehead on mine, once we'd ceased kissing. I grinned, pecking his lips, as I confirmed I was perfectly fine. He admitted he didn't expect me to become so skilled and I, lowering my head, embarrassedly admitted I'd taken my new skills from somewhere very specific.

He was bewildered, to say the least, and I feared he'd laugh of me, but he simply grinned, pulling me in his arms a bit better and repeating me, for the nth time, that I don't need to overdo, these sort of things are learnt with experience, he has learnt from experience too, actually, he admitted not being truly great at first, I childishly asked how did he know and he said the first girl he ever had pointed that out to him, with not much of a tact in regards to that being his very first time. I frowned, really confused. Admitting that his very first girl wasn't a virgin, how could she have such experience as to be able to say he wasn't good?

Seeing my frown, Eric kissed my cheek as he admitted: "Don't get mad, baby, but ... my first time was with a hooker." My eyes widened. A hooker. I didn't even know there were any in our town. I mean, it's such a little town, one would think we're some sort of lala land from fairy tales. Well, sort of. I mean, there are criminals in our town, just low leveled ones that don't do much damage, other than stealing now and then. For what I know, drug doesn't even exist in our town. Though hookers do apparently. And Eric has been with one.

The thing upset me, yes, because I can't fathom the idea of a man paying to have sex, it's disgusting, and I know that the girls in those videos I've ashamedly watched are paid too, but I guess that's a little bit different, theirs is a choice and their job can be sort of compared to the one of an actress, actually, they are sort of actresses, even if of a very peculiar kind. But hookers ...

I've lived too little in New York to remember anything, but I know from TV shows that prostitutes are a reality, a very present reality, and I've read somewhere that long time ago, I think in medieval times or something like that, young boys were brought to prostitutes as a manner of initiation to being man.

I mean, you know some Indian clans have their rituals for a boy to become effectively a man, Jewish people do it with the Bar-mitzvah, those societies saw the boy being initiated to a sexual life as a sign of his having come of age, so to speak.

Now, my boyfriend having had sex with a hooker ... it's a bit disappointing, I'll admit, because it's disgusting to think that a woman would sell her own body for money. Seeing me upset, Eric squeezed me against him, like he always does when he wants to cheer me up.

"It's a bit complicated to explain, but I didn't pay her, if that's what troubles you." I frowned and looked up at him. He sighed, letting go of me enough to cover our naked bodies, though I still had my panties on. So much for having fun tonight, the mood was slightly falling. Eric grabbed my hands, I guess ready to explain himself. He does that when something he says upsets me. I said we're a perfect couple, never said we never argue. We do, more than a bit, but the cheesy moments are way more.

"Take it this way, this ... lady offered me her services for free. Said she found me cute and wanted to teach me. That's all." My frown deepened as he spoke, but I let him go on: "The first time was, ashamedly, almost a total failure. So, seeing me flustered at her comment, she proposed to give me ... how can I say it ... extended lessons."

"You mean you've done it with her enough to learn your skills?" My voice came out higher than I wanted and, judging by his guilty look, Eric knew I was upset, so he sighed as he grazed the back of his neck while speaking: "No ... no, I ... uh ... refused. It wasn't ..." He sighed once more. "Being sexually apt wasn't exactly my priority at the moment."

I furrowed my eyebrows together, puzzled. What does that mean? Then it hit me ... his past. How could I forget his past? He's suffered things I couldn't even fathom, things he won't tell me because I childishly cried when he tried to and he doesn't want to be pitied and doesn't want to see me cry for him.

I've tried to slyly convince him to give me some hints at least, but all he's told me it's that it involves his stepfather and mother, who are currently in jail and that's why he sleeps in a hotel. Nothing more than that. I have no idea what these people did to him, but I can only guess it's abuse, which had me, when he told me, bottle up my emotions, hold my breath and wait a few moments before running to the bathroom with the excuse of needing to pee, but in truth, I only cried at the thought of Eric being abused.

I pretended not to, but Eric knew those things really upset me, so he never told me anything about it anymore, and now every time I try he skates over the topic, deeming it as gone past we don't need to think about.

Now, when I furrowed my eyebrows, Eric inhaled deeply, squeezing my hands in his as he explained he was a kid, just excited at the idea of learning something new, didn't think much of it, I asked what did he mean that he was a kid and he pressed his eyelids together as he admitted he had his first time that he was barely 13. Thirteen! He was 13 and he had sex with a hooker! God, at 13 I barely even knew sex existed!

I couldn't help but pull back entirely, Eric trying to reach for me as he justified himself with confused words I only frowned at. Ok, maybe I have no right to be so upset, but I just thought ... I don't know what I thought, ok? It's just ... ugh, it's stupid. My boyfriend had his first time with a hooker when he was 13. It's nothing so dramatic, is it? It wasn't ... forced after all, right? She offered, he agreed. That's all. It's not like this woman forced him to have sex with her ... right?

Though it's disgusting to think that an older woman just so willingly decided to take the virginity of a boy that could so easily be her son. I mean, 13! He was only 13! Had I liked dolls, I'd have still been playing with those back then! I barely even noticed boys!

Actually, I started noticing boys only when my eyes landed on Kyle in freshman year. Jamie had had her small "relationships" already and she told me about the kisses she exchanged with a couple of kids, but I was always thunderstruck, thinking those were rebellious things to do, not the rule!

Then I find out my boyfriend was even sexually active when I was still watching cartoons. Well, ok, I still watch cartoon now, but that's not the point. The point is, Eric was 13 when he had his first time! It's ... ugh, whatever. I have no right to judge. But ... "How old was she?" I couldn't retain myself from asking.

Eric gulped and I took it as the sign I wouldn't like the answer. In fact: "Uh ... 32 maybe? Something like that. She'd been on the job since she was a teen."

"Didn't you think she didn't like doing it?! Maybe she was forced to do it!" I found myself yelling before I could stop, pulling even more back but covering myself with the sheets. There goes our hot night. Mood completely spoiled. Now the only idea of sex revolts me and I even felt like vomiting the white liquid I could still feel swimming in my stomach.

Eric passed a hand over his face, sighing. "Of course I thought she was forced. And it's true, she was. Because she didn't know how to gain money to live. I was flustered, but she told me all of this only once we'd done the deed. Jeez, I didn't even know she was a hooker when she offered!"

I gave him a dirty look, especially as he raised his voice, which he never does with me. Months ago I would have been scared, now I was only mad at him for his attitude. "Why did you accept?"

Eric cursed at my question, once more passing a hand over his face, especially as he admitted he didn't really think it through, was just enthralled by the idea of starting so soon and the woman was quite pretty, said she didn't do it with him for money, she just found him cute.

Ewww. A 32-years-old hooker doing such thing with a 13-years-old boy. He could have been her son!

Quickly getting off bed, I recollected my clothes but put back on only my bra, then headed to my bag to grab my pajama. Well, there goes our hot night. I barely even felt like sleeping next to him now.

Eric pus hit boxers back on as well, but left the rest on the floor as he, quite harshly, asked: "Why are you mad at me now? It's past!"

I gritted my teeth as I slipped my large t-shirt on. "Oh, sure, for you it's always everything past! Admit it, Eric, you just want to keep me out!"

He frowned. Ok, I didn't mean that ... not entirely. I know he doesn't tell me only because he doesn't want to upset me, but it's already frustrating that my own boyfriend won't tell me everything about his life. I know it's to protect me, but ... ugh, whatever, I couldn't be quite rational now, I only thought of him being 13 and in the arms of such woman.

"You know why I don't tell you. I just don't want to ..."

"Whatever! I'm gonna sleep on the couch!" Ok, I wasn't rational neither sane. It just disgusted me the idea of him with a hooker. I couldn't digest the thing. That scenario kept forming in my mind and I felt like seriously puking. Wait ... puking, mood swings, my head felt heavy this morning ... oh, no! No, no, no! NO! It can't be!

Ignoring Eric looking at me both confused and flustered and even slightly pissed, I dashed out of the room, not even taking my shoes with me. It was almost 1 am, there was no chance I could find a shop open now and I didn't even know my surroundings, so I ought to wait till morning, but I couldn't face Eric right now. I'd cave in and tell him about my perception and I don't want to.

I guess that explains why I feel so moody lately. Actually, now that I think about it, my period is four days late ... oh, God, oh God, no! It can't be possible! We're so incredibly responsible! Not once have we slipped and forgot about protections. Not one single time! So how can it be possible?!

Wait, it's not set in stone yet ... right? I could be wrong. Sure, I might be wrong. Nothing tells me these symptoms are related to that. Maybe the nausea is only due to these conflicting thoughts and what I'd just ... yeah, swallowed. Maybe my stomach doesn't cope with it. It's a really absurd idea, but it might ... happen, right? And my mood swings, I have them when close to my period too, which is irregular of its own ... though it's been more regular since I started taking birth control.

No. It cannot be that. I have never once forgotten to take my pills and we've never once forgotten to use protections, so no, it cannot be! I cannot be pregnant!

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