Chapter 55 - Before saying goodbye
WARNING: this chapter contains explicit sexual contents
let me know what you think :)
She was choking me and I was barely able to breathe at this point, I could feel life slipping away. Part of me, the most skeptical, wondered if Eric could ever want this, if he could ever forgive his ... friend here for doing this. But where was he? He didn't know she came after me, so he had no idea. He had no idea his redheaded friend here was in a Parisian dead end, grinning wickedly as she choked his ex girlfriend to death. Strength was abandoning me, my arms weren't able to fight anymore and I couldn't breathe anymore, this time literally, I saw little white lights floating around me, I felt life leaving my body ... I was, as a matter of fact, dying.
CHAPTER 55 - BEFORE SAYING GOODBYE
Out of the blue, just as I was about to lose consciousness, air missing almost completely, I felt the girl let go of my neck, and a noise from beside me, like ... like she'd been slammed against the wall, and I heard a too familiar male voice hiss darkly: "Do something like that again and you won't wake up to see another day, you got it?"
I was breathing erratically, air finally reaching my lungs again after what felt like ages, but I swallowed, both to regain my strength and not to think that I knew all too well who that was. My hand unconsciously reached my throat and I hissed lowly, feeling a light cut, probably because of the girl's nails.
My sight was a little bit blurred and I could still see those small white lights floating around me, but I forced myself to keep consciousness and when I closed my eyes I heard the girl apologizing: "It was just for your own good." She justified, her voice strained, as if she could barely breathe, just like I was a few moments ago.
"Letting her be would have been for my own good! Not trying to kill her!" That male voice hissed even more darkly and I heard another noise, like a ... a death rattle. As if she was ... choking? He was choking her?? For ...
"Let her go!" I yelled to no one, considering I could barely see both. As far as I'm concerned, they could as well be both ghosts and my mind was making up all of this, though I could still feel all too well the girl's hand around my throat and air quickly leaving my lungs.
Yet, instantly, I heard another noise, possibly the girl falling as she coughed, muttering curses about how soft he was and how she'd make him pay for this.
But, what I was more focused on was the fact that, even in the dark, I could feel a pair of eyes on me, and they weren't the girl's. I knew for sure that those eyes staring at me were the same blues I so much loved. He didn't speak and silence reigned for a moment as the girl moved slightly away. I was blocked against the wall, but this time only because my body didn't want to move. He was right there, in front of me. After three years. I wanted to talk, say anything, but I couldn't bring myself to.
Eventually, he broke the silence, yet his words weren't directed at me: "Let's go." He simply ordered, grabbing the girl, I suppose, because I could hear her getting up. Only a moment ago he was choking her and now he was helping her to her feet like it was nothing. They moved away from me and I was frozen in my spot, not just because my throat still hurt and I was shocked, but because I had no idea what to do. Yet ...
"W-Wait ..." I mumbled instinctively, but if they heard me, they pretended not to, so I forced my voice to come out louder, even if shaky, as I called, not shouting, but enough loud to be heard clearly: "Eric, wait!"
He froze in his spot, confirming me that I was right, that was him. The girl muttered curses at me, saying he should let her end me once for all so the problem would be solved, but he didn't reply. I inhaled deeply. Three years. What do you say to someone that's left without a trace, abandoning you?
"P-please ..." Her voice was broken, uncertainty and sorrow were clear, possibly, if I turned around, I'd see her crying. In fact she wasn't able to go on talking. Beside me, Heather was grumbling about my being a stupid pussy that gets entangled in past loves, but I wasn't listening to her, I could only picture my Natalie staring at my back, trying to find the words to say, but too weak and too upset to talk.
I hate myself because I did that to her. Not just this moment, but all of that ... when I left her I broke her, I know I did. If she's suffered so much, it's my fault, and part of me says I owe her at least some answers, but I can't tell her without putting her in danger. I left to protect her. I let her believe I was dead, convinced she'd live better without me, and seeing how that other guy was holding her, maybe she succeeded, but now this ... now she's so weak again and it's once more my fault.
I was calling our boss to get the coordinates of our new mission, we'd left the hotel room since an hour more or less, not even paying the bill, in the rush, we just recollected the very few things we usually take with us, namely, more weapons than clothes, and left the building without too much of a thought.
We were heading to the central train station when we were ambushed. Our target's pals found the corpse much before predicted. Lucky thing they were newbies, so we could get rid of them pretty easily. Despite my protests, Heather insisted we take another room to hide for the night, considering that there were possibly other people after us.
Once everything was calm and, as I said, I was calling our boss, Heather informed me she'd go take a walk. I tried to forbid her, she might attract unwanted attentions, we were only a few blocks away from the hotel room we'd left, but she said we'd taken care of everyone and she really needed some fresh air. I let her go, only with the warning that if anything happened, she ought to call me.
My partner is normally direct and very impulsive, when she said she'd go out she was a little bit strange and I thought that maybe, being so close to that bullet we'll sooner or later catch up with upset her a little, even though, this was only the nth time we faced death so closely. I thought she needed a moment alone. Never would I have imagined she was after my Natalie.
When we went back into the room I explained her briefly about my seeing my ex girlfriend again after three years, that link to my past that represented my weakest point. Right then and there Heather said nothing, just that we should hurry up. I had no idea she was thinking of being impulsive and reckless.
When she didn't come back after the ten minutes I'd given her, I tracked down her phone and when I noticed that also Natalie's phone was in the same place, I did the Math and ran so fast that I reached that dead end in a minute. Lucky thing I was in time.
Natalie was barely breathing, my partner was choking her ... I couldn't see anything else, just pushed Heather away from my ex and out of anger I was about to choke my own partner ... hadn't Natalie herself stopped me. The thought of her seeing what a monster I'd become for real made me recoil, but I forced myself to be cold and while I remained in silence for a moment, then I recollected Heather that was rambling about how she'd make me pay for it, but then I heard that voice ... she called my name, my real name. I hadn't heard anyone calling me that in three years. And that name coming from my princess, her voice being so shaky ...
I inhaled deeply. Now what do I do? If I just walk away she'll just be more broken, but if I stay ... it'll be only worse, for both of us. You think I don't torture myself for what I did to her? After three years I still wonder what would have happened if I hadn't abandoned her ... but then I remember that I would have gotten her killed and I force myself to admit that she's better off without me.
"E-Eric ... turn around." She mumbled, voice broken by tears already. I once more inhaled deeply while Heather was looking at me sideways, silently telling me not to listen.
"Look at me." Natalie pleaded. Her voice ... her soft voice ... it hasn't changed, not even a little, it's still the same angelic voice I've been dreaming of these past three years. So many times I've dreamed of her, of us being together. So many nights I've spent awake while thinking about her or even worse, tracking her movements via her phone or even reading the texts she was exchanging with whoever.
I only quit reading her texts when she started messaging with that Chase. I read enough texts only to be sure he didn't have bad intentions, but then it got too hard even for me to keep coldness while witnessing my only love building up a new life without me.
"Don't you dare turn around." Heather chastised me as, I guess, she saw me indecisive. "You can't have contacts with her. You'll get yourself and her killed."
I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. Would it be that catastrophic if I just turned around for a moment, just to see her one last time? After all, she's recognized me already, she knows I'm alive ...
"John, we have to go. If your covers gets blown, mine gets too and ..."
"I know." I hissed lowly. "I know. Just ... just give me a moment."
Heather glared at me. "John ..."
I sighed. "Go ahead. I'll see you at our meeting place."
"John, don't be stupid. You've got enemies. And if ..."
"I said I know. Just ... go, Heather." She sighed, grumbling about me being as stupid as a monkey, then left. It was a really bad idea, it would hurt both of us, especially her, more, but I owed her at least this, I guess. Even if I couldn't truly tell her the whole truth, I owed her some basic explanations at least. Hence, I inhaled deeply before turning around.
Even in the dim light, I could see those blue eyes fixed on me. I could barely tell his now even manlier features, and I couldn't move, my legs wouldn't let me. I could barely even breathe. I couldn't even believe it. After three long years he was there, in front of me. After three long years Eric was right there in front of me and I had the urge to say so many things but I didn't know where to start.
When the moon illuminated the dead end, I could better see his face. How could I be so blind? He was still the same. His features were harsher, yes, he looked manlier, even while being just 21, but he was still the same. I could see his t-shirt clinging onto his muscles, he was slightly beefier, but still the same even in his physique. In everything, he was still the same.
Apparently I wasn't the only one speechless, because he remained silent too. Only cats and the city noises could be faintly heard in that dead end. The girl that nearly killed me had disappeared I don't know where. As I thought of her, I blurted out the first words that came to my mind, just to say something: "Who ... is she?"
More like, who is she for you? She said he's the only one person she cares about, she said he means a lot to her. And I can believe it. I bear the signs of her caring on my throat, the small scratches her nails left on my skin are the evident signs of her being willing to kill to protect him, so their bond must be really tight.
He answered in a sigh: "My partner." That little bit of heart I had left skipped a few beats. Partner. That's a word with several meanings, but my heart only read the most basic one: other way of saying girlfriend.
And maybe he read my mind, because he immediately pointed out: "Work partner. We ... she's not what you think."
I just nodded, not really knowing what to say. After all, it's been three years, it'd be legit for him to have someone else, just like I have, but the more pressing matter here is: "You left without a word."
He inhaled deeply, rubbing the bridge of his nose. I took some steps closer, just to be able to better see his face, even if deep down I knew this would be the last time. If things are as complicated as that girl implied, then there's no chance ... for us.
I know, I know, I should have given up on hope already, but my heart never wanted to. Even if it hurt more than I could ever describe, my heart kept mourning and yet yearning for him, telling me that he had disappeared, just disappeared, nobody knew if he was really ... dead or not.
And I was right, because while they told me that, if he couldn't be found anywhere, then he was no more in this world, now I have the proof that they were wrong. Because he was right in front of me right now. I could see him, even if only in the dim light. I could look at him and see how stress and who knows what else have hardened his features.
"I had to." He replied, voice always husky, just slightly manlier than I remembered it, deeper and ... well, sexier.
"W-why?" I took one step closer and at this point, I was in front of him. In the dim light I could still barely tell his features and maybe I preferred that, because then I could cherish inside me that last memory of him - of us back to three years ago.
He lowered his head, clearly feeling guilty. "For reasons I can't tell you." He simply retorted, which angered me. Because I've been hurting, all these years, I've been hurting and he doesn't even try to justify himself. Tears were in my eyes, they've been my loyal companions since three years, since he left me ... I've never cried so much as I cried for him.
We were face to face, well, I was face to face with his hard chest that I could barely see in the dim light, and I wanted to look up at him and memorize every single detail of his face after so many years, but I was also angry, angry because I've suffered during these years, I've reached such lows that it's a pure miracle I am still here, even though, the funny thing is, if I've gone on, it's because he told me to. Just because he told me to. I would have quit long ago, hadn't I kept on re-reading that note ... live your life. The words spun in my mind every time endless pain brought me close to the very extreme edge.
I flinched when I felt his calloused hand on my cheek, but then I inhaled deeply, trying hard to keep control. Yet I let myself go to his touch. After three years. I missed the warmth of his hand on my face, I missed the feelings that touch always caused me.
"I wish I could have stayed." Eric mumbled. I closed my eyes, wanting to enjoy that feeling as long as possible, because I knew he'd leave again soon. I knew his hand would leave my cheek and I wanted nothing more than for that moment to last forever. Even more, I yearned for a deeper touch. A kiss. A hug. Something. Something that would only kill me once for all, considering I knew he had to leave me again, but I couldn't help desiring something more.
"W-why did you go?" Of course, my voice betrayed me once again.
He sighed. "I can't tell you." Abruptly, I opened my eyes, as if suddenly awake, and pulled back from his touch, outraged, because for three years I've tortured myself, for three years I haven't allowed myself to live thoroughly because he wasn't there and my life couldn't go on without him.
If it did go on, it's only because I didn't want my friends and my mother to suffer for me, but I didn't really live, I survived, just survived, and now ... now I find out he's alive and I don't even deserve an answer?
"You could have at least ..."
"I know what you want to say, but Natalie, it was safer for you if you ..." He sighed. "... if you ..."
"If I believed you dead? That's what you mean?" I wanted to sound strong and indifferent, but my voice betrayed me once more, broken, because tears were almost choking me and I think sorrow was clear. Because after three years I haven't forgotten him. Despite everything, he's always there, and that's what hurts most, especially because he's gone on with his life, letting me believe he was dead, letting me grieve his loss.
No, wait, he didn't even give me the luxury of such closure, because he just disappeared. Nobody knew where he was, he went missing, police barely searched for him, even if they said they did, he just disappeared, leaving it up to me to harp on hope and wish for him to come back or to just give up and believe him dead. I should have picked the latter, at least I would have gone on for real, but no, I couldn't bring myself to, therefore I kept harping on our memories and on him, always wishing, even while being with Chase, for my Eric to come back. Always wishing for my only love to come back so that we could live the life we were planning.
Sometimes I've even stupidly let myself think that maybe if I'd been really pregnant, he wouldn't have left me, but then I thought of my biological father abandoning my mother for that reason, and while I knew my Eric would never do that, part of me thought maybe he hadn't read my message and he'd left because he didn't want to take his responsibilities. Those were extremes of a truly pained heart.
I had to give myself a reason, because him leaving just to protect me from who knows what was too uncertain for an explanation, so I needed a real one, and sometimes grieving got lighter as I forced myself to believe in his worst side. The one everybody believed was real but I knew was only fake.
And that's why convincing myself that he'd left only because he thought I was pregnant and, just like Landon Pierce, he didn't want to take his responsibilities, was impossible. Lovesick me kept reminding me that my Eric would never do that.
"Natalie, I had to. If I had had a choice ..."
"Save it." I backed up, trying to hold strong, trying to act badass even if I only wanted to jump in his arms and at least lull myself in his embrace one last time ... but then it'd be worse. It will be worse. Because now I might have the certainty that he lives, and while I thought that that would have sufficed, now I knew it didn't.
Because now the awareness of a future together being really impossibly kicked in and it really hurt. Maybe believing him dead would have been easier, I could have let my mind and heart rest at peace and ...
My thoughts were cut off. Because I found my back on the wall again and Eric ... he was kissing me. As passionately as only he knows. His kisses haven't lost their power, he was always able to annihilate me and intoxicate me ... and this time it was the same.
I wanted to be mad at him, I had every right to be mad at him, and yet ... not long passed before I felt his hands tightly gripping my hips and his lips moved to my neck. Even if we were in a Parisian dead end, in the dark, past 3 am, and I should have pushed him off ...
"E-Eric ..." It was supposed to be reprimanding and yet it came out as moan. My knees were bucking already and I had ,every will of giving in, even if I knew it'd be only worse, and I did give in, letting myself go to his intoxicating touch, his hands gripping me tighter and tighter, his lips devouring mine like candy, our tongues dancing together as they used to.
But ... eventually, Eric pulled back, then cursed. "God, I've missed you. I've missed you so bad, Tallie." Oh, I wanted to tell him I'd missed him too, I needed to, but what for? It's absurd, though, I shouldn't have been so complying, I should have pushed him off, slapped his chest at least, and yet all I did was grip him tightly, unconsciously trying to keep him there.
When he noticed that tears were streaking down my cheeks, even if I was emitting no sound, he pulled me in his arms, letting me vent out on his chest.
"I know I've hurt you." He said lowly, rubbing my scalp soothingly. "And I'm sorry. Truly. But I did it for you, princess. For you. To let you live a real life."
"It was useless." I whined, even though the nickname he always used for me did cut deep. "I've only survived till now." I sobbed. "Everybody believed you dead, Eric, and while I kept praying for you, it nearly drove me insane. Because you disappeared. You just ... disappeared. Without a word or anything and nobody knew. I asked around and nobody knew what happened to you."
"Kyle knew." I frowned, pulling back slightly, even if still keeping him close.
"Kyle knew what happened. Well, just the general lines. I asked him not to tell you." My eyes widened. So my friend lied to me. He kept saying he had no idea and yet he knew. I tried to wriggle out of Eric's grip, hurt and offended.
"You've only lied to me." I accused, eyes on his chest, tears fogging my sight, though my arms were still around his torso. "You've lied to me. Even while claiming you ..."
"I did love you, Natalie. For real." Eric cut me off, cupping my cheeks, then he cursed, kissing me once more, quite hungrily even. "Hell, I do love you. I've never stopped loving you and I never will. As promised."
I closed my eyes. "That's the only promise you've kept." I mumbled. I was unfair with him, I knew it, he had a reason to leave, I knew he did, but still ...
Eric sighed, cupping my cheeks, sorrow clear in his voice and eyes, which the moonlight conveniently now let me better see, as he spoke: "I've regretted it every day, I still regret it."
"Then why did you leave?" I pulled back once more, even though it was hard to do so. But I needed answers. "Please, Eric, tell me. I need to know."
"Natalie ..." He moved to caressed my cheek, but I backed up.
"Just the general lines, Eric. Please."
He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I can't, Natalie. I can't. Even if I'd really love to. Just like I'd love to ..."
"... to stay. Right? You can't stay. You have to leave me again."
"You've got someone that cares for you at least." Oh, I did spot jealousy and irritation in his tone, believe me, I did.
"Chase loves me." I pointed out, don't know why. Eric didn't reply, but in his eyes I could read the answer ... 'I love you too and I've loved you before him'.
"He supports me. Has been supporting me since we met." I added without thinking. Eric clenched his jaw. "You have no right to be jealous." I spat before I could stop and in his eyes I could spot an aggravated glint that I was very well acquainted with, because sometimes he'd direct it at me too, even if only lightly.
"I have every right to be jealous." He retorted, hands now gripping my arms. "Because I've loved you much before he even entered your life. And damn, the one holding you on that balcony would have been me if my life hadn't been so fucked up." His grip on me tightened and I was better pressed against the wall. "It should have been me. It should be me. Not him, not anybody. It should be me." His eyes were burning as he stated those words, there was such a flame in those blues as I'd never witnessed before.
My heart was beating so fast that it almost felt as if it wasn't beating at all, in fact I was barely able to breathe out: "Then why it isn't?" Even though I lowered my glance not to look at him. Especially because I didn't want to hear the answer.
"Because I can't." Eric quite simply responded, never letting me go, his eyes fixed on me that I was staring at his chest.
"And why?" I pressed, voice low.
He gritted his teeth, gripping me so tighter that I was starting to barely feel my ribs, but I focused on his angry and frustrated words: "Because my life is too shitty for you. Because my damn stepfather threatened to kill you and I had to ..." He stopped. "I had to do something extreme to protect you, my father and Kyle."
My eyes widened as he said that, realization kicking in. His stepfather. Why didn't I think about it before? He was the reason for Eric's past being so painful. Of course that man was involved. I gripped Eric tighter as he went on, seemingly unable to keep the truth inside anymore:
"I had to kill him, Natalie." His grip on me tightened. "I did it for you. To keep you safe." I wanted to know more about it, but Eric quit talking and gazed around, nothing but darkness around us, the city lights being far enough for us to be out of sight. And yet ...
"I have to go." He stated. "We could be heard, seen ... and ..."
I couldn't stop myself, I just kissed him ... as passionately as I could, so forcefully that he couldn't hold back either and I guess that's why I almost found myself losing my clothes in a Parisian dead end at 3 am ...
I don't know how we made it, but we reached a close small hotel, where he had a room apparently, and we stumbled inside, my dress flying away as soon as we'd stepped foot into the room and closed the door. I barely remember us kissing and groping each other hungrily in that dead end, then a cat playing with trash awakening Eric's senses and him grabbing my hand and dragging me to this place, not waiting to be in the room to attack my lips once more, desire devouring us both.
We knew it was wrong, especially I did, we knew it wouldn't solve anything, he had to leave me again, but we couldn't stop. Not at this point. After three years, we needed it. One last night at least.
I moaned when Eric, impatiently, pinned me up against the wall, my legs wrapping around his waist on their own, so that I came in contact with the bulge in his jeans, and considering I only had my underwear on, I felt it all too clearly. I dug my fingers in his hair, arching my back, as his lips traced my skin, from neck to shoulder blades to chin, only to return to my lips.
His hands were gripping my ass cheeks, squeezing them, so that he could better press me against him and I was moaning wildly already, so that I unconsciously pressed his head against my skin, to better feel him and while I knew it wasn't a great idea to let him nip on my sensitive spot like that, knowing he was, voluntarily or not, causing me a love mark, I wanted him to keep going, because now as ever a hickey would mark me as his, telling the unmistakable truth: I belonged to Eric and Eric only. It's always been like that, it will always be.
I tugged at his hair when he bit down, but then his tongue flicked at that same spot, kind of soothing me, just as his hands slipped beneath my panties and touched the bare skin of my butt. Unconsciously, I grinded against him, wanting to feel the friction of our bodies glued together, but Eric soon put me down, though without letting me go, in fact he cupped my cheeks and kissed me intensely, leading me towards the bed.
When my legs hit the edge of the bed I quickly kicked off my shoes, losing a couple of inches, but who cares. Just as Eric roamed my body, our lips never splitting, I slipped my hands underneath his t-shirt and swiftly worked to pull it over his head, which I did, and that was about the only time our lips split, but they reunited again soon, passion overwhelming us for real as we fell on bed.
We weren't reasoning. I could only see my Eric and his kisses and his smoking hot body hovering over mine. I couldn't care less about the odds, I just needed one last night with him. Hence, I eagerly flipped us and straddled him, tugging at his belt, but stopping when my eyes landed on his upper half and the couple of scars that now adorned it.
We didn't speak, Eric just watched me carefully as I absentmindedly let my fingers rub those spots. There was one on his low left abdomen, something like a clear cut, possibly a ... knife, the other was slightly upper, this one looked different, was smaller ... maybe a bullet? Oh, God. When my eyes travelled up to his face I also met the sight of another scar on his right shoulder. My heart dropped at the idea of him having been hurt so many times. I'd never seen those scars before, so they were part of his new life.
My fingers remained there on his abdomen as I rubbed those scarred spots unconsciously, while my eyes were fixated on the upper one, but, as if to distract me, Eric all of a sudden flipped us, so that the was on top of me and he eagerly bent down to capture my lips in his as his hands cupped my cheeks. I entirely forgot about the rest, his scars included, especially as his lips moved to my neck and he started nibbling on it, letting his hands travel down to roam my body.
Last time we were together, I was still a pretty inexperienced fresh ex virgin, but now three years had passed, and while after him I've been with Chase only, I was more experienced now, enough to give him what he deserved for real and without fears. Letting myself go to naughtiness was never so easy.
Hence, I eagerly tugged at his belt and unbuckled it as he kept nibbling also on my earlobe, making me feel shivers down my spine as he whispered softly in my ear: "I love you, Tallie. Always have and always will."
I pushed back the idea of those words being a farewell and while moaning I quite simply responded, maybe even too loudly, but only because I'd missed even saying those words: "I love you too, Eric. More than anything."
That seemed to reinvigorate him, so he eagerly helped me take off his jeans and swiftly attacked my lips once more, his warm hands travelling up and down my body, till they stopped at my breasts and I arched my back to let him unhook my bra and take it off, so that he could freely knead my boobs, making me moan wildly already, because everything about his touch was unique. It was like dipping into those cherished old memories and while reemerging would scorch me, now it only felt amazing. It's like when you dip into the sea to save yourself from the awful heat and then you come out and feel the sun even too hot, but as long as you were in the water you felt amazing.
Eagerly, I let my hands travel to his lower zone and I rubbed him through the plaid stuff of his boxers, making him groan, quite loudly even. Part of me thought of how many other girls had done that for him in these three years, but the biggest one didn't care. He might have screwed thousands of girls, now he was with me. Even if for one night only.
Pulling down his boxers had me moan at the warm feeling of his manhood on my bare skin. Long gone is the Natalie that could barely cope with such things. Long gone is the pure and innocent girl that knew nothing about sex. Not that I'm such an expert now, but certainly I could give my all to my only love without fearing anything, and I fully intended to do just that. This was, sadly, our last night together, so it ought to be the best ever. Even though, nothing would ever compare to our very first night.
Always eagerly, I slipped off his boxers, Eric kind of helping me as his hands kept taking care of my body while his lips nibbled on my neck, yes, but mostly, he kissed me. To make for the three years of abstinence, I bet. Making him hiss, I wrapped my hand around his shaft, which I honestly remember all too clearly and yet I was kind of surprised at feeling his full length in my hand. Slowly, I began to stroke him as my other arm was wrapped around his shoulder and his skilled fingers played with my already erect nipples, making me feel hotter and wetter by the second.
Even if without leaving his lips, I flipped us once more and straddled him, better said, his crotch, my panties getting soaked even more at the contact, so that I couldn't resist to grinding against him a little and Eric hissed, gripping my hips, I bet to make me do it more or to speed up and just bring me onto him, but I pulled back and bent down, grabbing his hard shaft that now as ever really looked so big in my small hand ... I never realized that. I never even wanted to think of that, being too prude to admit it, but yeah, he was pretty big and my hand looked even smaller if compared.
Eric watched me carefully but lustfully as I slowly took him in my mouth, starting from the tip, then all the way to the base, licking every single spot of his shaft, making him hiss and jerk his hips up at every movement, especially when I picked up a steady rhythm while sucking on him, though he pulled me up soon, placing me on him in such a way that my core was against his face while my face was against his manhood.
I didn't need explanations, I just took him in my mouth again, only giving myself time to squirm a little as I felt his skilled tongue licking my labia. Told you, in three years I've learned to quit being so prude, listening to my friends talking about it helped too, I guess. So while high school Natalie would have felt embarrassed at the thing, 21-years-old Natalie knew even the specific name of such position, but couldn't care less. All that matter was the pleasure and being with my Eric again after three years.
I was barely able to pick up on my pace again but immediately he followed me, making me gasp loudly as he stuck his tongue inside my needy core. This wasn't the first time we experimented such position, though. We did it once and I felt really embarrassed but enjoyed it. Now it was even better.
Maybe because back then I was a newbie and my blowjob sucked (sorry for the pun), so it was more about him pleasuring me than something mutual. Now it was better because I could feel him pausing his tongue inside me to better savor the great job I was doing to him.
Soon enough, I felt close to my peak, though, so I sped up, helping myself with my hand, and by the time I spilled my juices in his mouth, I also had his seed spilled in mine. I was still writhing, feeling weak as I descended from my peak, while I swallowed everything he had to give me. This was the second time ever I tasted that particular white liquid and while it always felt bittersweet and salty, this time it tasted better.
Eric groaned as I gave myself time to clean him up before moving, and once I'd finished, he swiftly moved us so that he was on top of me. Without a doubt, he bent down and crashed his lips on mine, his hands kneading my breasts while my legs spread on their own, feeling him so close. While we kissed, I grabbed his already once more hard manhood and drove it inside me, even if slowly and letting just the tip in.
Eric left my boobs only to adjust himself inside me and I moaned when I actually felt him, stretching my walls to no end. He stilled inside, looking me in the eyes to see if he was hurting me, but I just wrapped my arms around his shoulders and forced him to bend down, so that I could capture his lips in mine, moaning loudly inside his mouth when he started moving inside me, slowly, as I was too tight and I needed to first of all adjust to his size.
Ah, I remember every time I had to do this years ago, part of me always worried, now I only felt the pleasure, without thinking, especially when Eric sped up.
In a few moments he was pounding inside me as we locked our arms together, always kissing, taking breaks only to breathe, which he exploited to nibble on my neck anyway. Our hands entangled as he hid his face in the crevasses of my neck, pushing himself inside me fast but also really gently, enough to let me feel the difference, as usual. The difference between sex and lovemaking.
But part of me wanted to show him something more, so I flipped us once more and, placing my hands on his chest once I'd pulled myself up, I started riding him, as fast and hard as I could, moaning wildly as, in such position, I could feel him so clearly at the back of my walls, so hard and warm inside me, so perfect ... it'll sound absurd, but it felt as if he was the only one with every legitimate right to fill me up entirely, to be so buried deep inside me and give me such sensations.
Actually, it felt really odd, now that I think about it, but it was the very simple feeling his bare skin inside me, without a condom, which we always used. Maybe is passed through my mind for a nanosecond that we should be more careful, but I was on the pill, so no problem. Besides, there was no room for thoughts. Just pleasure was to reign.
I grinned at him as I kept on riding him, Eric reaching for my sides, letting his fingers brush me up and down, making me feel shivers down my spine. I was close to my bliss when he decided it was time to take control again, so he gripped my ass cheeks tightly and started jerking up his hips, one thrust at a time, kind of making him slow down as well, till I quit moving entirely and bent down, gripping his shoulders while moaning wildly as he went faster and even harder inside me, till my legs quivered, my whole body shook and he slowed down, almost stopping, as he let me ride out of my third orgasm.
Once I had, Eric flipped us once more, pulling my legs over his shoulders as he thrust inside me, but this time only deeper and slower, especially as he peppered kisses on the skin of my legs and ankles, his hands sensually running up and down my thighs, making me feel Goosebumps and only speeding up the process to build up yet another peak. I was used to him giving me more than one orgasm, but these felt all so incredibly intense!
When he let my legs down, he made me lie on my side as he thrust deep inside me, his arms around me tightly, his lips on my neck as he whispered sweet words, just like always did during such moments. Feeling worn out, I lay on my stomach and he followed me, entangling our arms as I made an effort and pulled enough up to be on my hands and knees, moaning breathlessly as Eric slowed down even more, at this point going only deeper and deeper inside me.
"Ah, Eric, I love you!" I let out in a louder moan as I reached my fourth, maybe fifth peak, couldn't exactly count.
He smiled in my ear as he, still gripping me tightly and yet possessively and affectionately confirmed: "I love you too, princess. I will keep loving you till I the end."
I didn't have time to mull over his words because my body once more shook in both the aftereffects and the building up of a new, never-ending, orgasm. Though throughout that I found the strength to tilt my head to the side and look at Eric. His face held both focus and pure pleasure, and since I felt him stiffen inside me, I knew he was really close.
That's why, wanting our orgasm to be harmonious, I forced myself to hold back a little and wait for him. Eric kissed me passionately as he better entangled our fingers, both of us keeping our eyes open and on each other as we reached our last bliss, his warm seed travelling through my canal making me feel odd and yet completely fulfilled.
Everything seemed to be forgotten. It was just a moment, then reality would kick in and I'd have to say goodbye to the one and only love of my life once for all, but for now ... for now I could enjoy my Eric tucking us in and embracing me tightly, as usual. Even if I felt like I could barely move, so worn out, I turned around, just to look him in the eyes, wanting those blues to be the last thing I saw before I drifted off to sleep, unable to keep my own eyes open.
I barely felt Eric tucking a hair lock behind my ear and pulling me closer to let me rest my head on his chest, as usual, his arms around me tightly, his sexy and yet soothing voice accompanying me in my falling asleep as he tenderly whispered, for the nth time, in my ear: "I love you, princess. Never forget that. I love you with all my corrupted heart and flawed being."