A cross eyed boy is sitting in the corner, reading Brave New
World on the dirty floor with shivering skin. A quick thought
leads to a whole complex of concept patterns sprawling out
over the brains... As he wandered across the pages making up
the story a gnawing feeling grew in his chest. Insects.
Watcha up to? No one really knew; probably not even himself. Insects.
He got up and opened his drawer to pick up a small zip bag containing a slightly beige powder. ”Shit, the ACO’s getting bad”. He opened the zip lock and carefully poured a small amount of the drug into his left palm, gathered som saliva on his tongue and quickly licked up. Taste of chemical and dilated black openings. A metallic buzz ran down his legs, advanced trough his fingertips up the arms and settled in the chest. INSECTS. He felt his body getting heavier and he seemed to drift away from the material borders it created. ”It’s like your soul’s shaking an inch to the left and back again, slowly dissolving the concrete feel of the self.” 4-ACO-DMT was easy to obtain and even easier to use way too often. Buying large amounts is pretty cheap: cheaper than hashish. The first hour can be described as some kind of struggle between the matter and the metaphysics defining you. After this you just get higher and higher and somewhere around 90-120 into the trip you peak. The peak on 4-ACO-DMT is physically unbearable on higher doses. You feel like you’re going to dissolve into the cacophony of dimensions, the whole body tingles and tactile sensations runs trough you like creeping spiders under your skin.
Visually it’s quite impressive, you get the fractals and the patterns and the usual stuff but there’s something more: a certain message. You can feel it in your body, in your mind and if you’re high enough you can actually see it. The compound applies a grid to the sky or where ever you’ve focused your
glazed eyes on. The grid develops and get more and more detailed, more layers of pipelines, big cylinders transporting energy big pulsing motions and eyes covering the rest of your vision. But the actual information isn’t found here, it’s channeled through your mind.
It’s the feeling of a constant stream of loads and loads information piercing your skull and entering your brain and i think the whole thing’s about reality and it’s true nature. By true nature i mean reality unfiltered, without the limits of your perception. Reality in all it’s glory, dimensions and forms. Receiving this kind of knowledge can be quite disturbing since you get that feeling of ”this isn’t meant for man to know” but i guess that’s because it rather isn’t made for man to know. It’s like trying to load a USB-stick on a 89’s gameboy DMG-01, if you get the point. But there’s useful info we’re talking about. You just have to accept the fact that it’s extremely hard to explain properly using words: artistic expression and such are much better mediums for ineffable, mystic experiences like this one. Anyway, once you’re peaking you think that maybe the dose was too low because you can’t really access all the information you need and therefore it’s quite hard to get a good image of what it’s all about. It’s a weird feeling, like a thousand nails right into the ego, opening small holes for the self to leak out and explore without the limitations of the human body.
Dilation. The buzzing feeling was there in ten minutes: a tingle in the legs grew and he could feel all the birds outside singing inside his nerves. He sat down for a few minutes, embracing the oncoming build up of miniature explosions of colour and electricity throughout his mind. Bzzzt, are you there? Bzzzt. The brown wallpapers of the apartment seemed more and more bright and vivid. He ignored the evolving patterns that now seemed more real that the wallpaper itself and got up again before he completely merged with the room. He had expected something lighter but when you eyeball substances active under 10mg you can’t really blame anything but yourself for even trying. Although it usually went pretty well there’s never any guarantee: you might just lose the grip of your ego
halfway to the pharmacy, if you’re unlucky. It’s the thing you get use too though, taking a bit too much because of the fear of not taking enough.
As long as you don’t have a problem with being thrown into a bit too intense situations this method wasn’t that bad after all. After the weird and rather uncomfortable process of standing up with a strong body load (the ACO- makes your body feel super heavy and really eerie, this feeling is called a ”body load”) the boy got a grip of his sight. The room felt intrusive and much closer. Wherever he looked there was a certain ”closing in” hallucination. He quickly left and got down the vertiginous stairs. In his head, jungle beats and inverted faces ravaged and ripped his thoughts apart. This resulted in a two second lifespan of every thought pattern or process. He forgot everything he was thinking the moment after the thought sprouted, eliminating any possibility of planning or structuring of concepts. ”A bit too much maybe” he thought to himself, but this worry was quickly forgotten as he got off the last step of the stairs.
Dead cities took shape in the horizon as he stepped out of the front door, entering the dark, blueish metropolis. Concrete walls stretched higher than ever and the although he usually regarded this whole being as one part ultimate dystopia, one part something completely different, it was pretty beautiful: though hard to get a grip of. The purple sky was filled with gray railways and the droning noise of machines felt like some kind of collective binaural beat. He couldn’t help thinking of Huxley as he started walking towards the subway: he preferred to travel underground, even if it was slower and stuffed with all of the most kooky, eccentric and odd figures you could find in this city. He surely wasn’t the kind of person that would take the monorail to the shopping centres but neither was he one of the weird ones, scrounging every container they could find for godsends. ”How did this place end up like this?” Society was ever changing: new trends, building projects and values were constantly introduced, but in a way everything stayed the same. ”Are we turning into that kind of society we used to
portray in books and film? As some kind of bizarre thought or as a warning??”
The ACO- was running strong in his mind and the constant analyzing mindset was inevitable. He realized that he barely was a part of it at all, not anymore. He’d stepped out of the collective and only existed as a vague, fuzzy self walking the streets, observing. This had given him some insight: he could actually see society and how it changed. Comparing it with human nature or anything like that was pointless and could only lead to confusion and anger (if you’re lucky enough to feel). With jazzy steps boy continued roaming the sidewalks (the subway-plan was long forgotten), drifting the quarters with a head full of ideas. A concept was born, analyzed and forgotten in seconds, only to make way for another one. ”Pharmacy. Oh right, i gotta do some shopping”. He turned left and made his way to the nearest lift, pressed the DOWN- button and arrived in the subway a moment later. ”Food, maybe some vitamins, maybe not food, maybe food substitute? At least it’s cheap.” A few steps into the red cart and he was away. A dirty youngster stood with restless legs two metres away, an obvious ecstasy-enthusiast with jogging shoes, sweatpants and a blue jacket scanned the other passagers with glassy eyes. He had very short hair and seemed to be on uppers. Substances are very central in this place. ”You are what you insufflate.” He opened a small bag and once again poured some powder on his hand, dragged it up the nose and stepped off the cart before being smashed to pieces by his own electrons.
The bright white lights flickered in the ceiling and as he passed the vegetables they didn’t seem much more vegetarian than the body parts found in the meat counter. That feeling when everything is connected and a part of something bigger is problematic while shopping for food. When you can’t eat a damn potato because it’s temporarily sentient, what do you eat? He picked up some chips, a bottle of vodka and five chocolate bars. The less natural the better, he grabbed a ten pack of noodles. Food substitute was way too scary. Fractals stretched the across the walls and down on the floor. They
crawled like rapid growing creepers up his legs and he moved faster. The last dose were quite strong and now the whole place screamed in colour and the audial chaos around him made him nervous. He was completely incapable of communication since the words were long gone when he were going to say them. He staggered his way to the checkout sweating and mumbling, trying to achieve some kind of output to ease all his impressions. The constant input of information made focus a ridiculous thing.
On the way home he met an old woman, her wrinkles drifted across the spooky face. He had a hard time separating the effects of the hallucinogen with reality by now. She became more and more haunting as he came closer and by the time she passed him her face was basically falling apart: this was obviously the ACO-, but what’s the difference really?
In higher doses the hallucinogens seem to change the way they alter your perception. Pattern-making and breathing walls are still present but who can focus on that when stars and holes which through colour-lightning enter appear on a white surface. The thought of stepping down on the psychedelics had been present for a while, but today boy decided that he’d lay off the stuff for a while. Especially the ACO-, it’s too stimulating, too much pleasure. He called xckzjldkfs.23 and asked for an ounce of hashish and a half of grass.