Scars, Pain, & Despair

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Chapter Twenty-Four

Proserpina

"What's my name?" I did not stop my stroll towards him. Uncle did not move to touch me for he was watching how the scene played out just as the cowering girl in my mind did just as everyone else did.

"You have no right to demand things from me." He raised his cane to point at me like a broad sword. Funny how fears could fall away when one remembers themselves.

"What is my name?"

"Why don't you ask your friends? I'm sure they know."

"Who am I?!!" It was ripped from my throat with force and authority.

"No one that matters."

"Liar! I know who I am and so should you! I will be known!! I will be remembered!!!"

"Like your dead friend?" He smirked amused with my efforts to get answers from him. That was fine, let him have his fun. I didn't need him to remind me who I was, I already knew. I just wanted him to say it, commit it to memory, and know who I am. Who I will always be.

"Just like Thia. Thia; that was her name!! Let her name be heard for whoever wants to listen!! Who am I?"

"Do not test my patience." He spoke in his chilling voice that still sent a shiver down my spine. I would not cower like the girl I was. I was not going to let him win. Irritated that his warning was not registering in my mind he swung his cane. It sliced through the air so swiftly I could admire the ability it took to do such a swing.

"What's my name?" The cane vibrated and rebounded off my forearm. He could hit me, or shoot, or whatever came into his mind but I was here for answers. My forearm answered me with throbbing pain which I ignored after each and every block I used against him.

"What's mine?"

"Gavin Leer, do not test my patience. I thought we talked about stalling, I thought we had an understanding." There that was what I wanted. Fear flickered in his eyes as I parroted back all he told me when I did not answer him. "I thought we were friends Gavin. Friends do not keep things from each other. They don't lie Gavin."

"P...Proser..." He stammered to say my name until he firmly clamped his lips closed. Composing himself with whatever reminder he chants to himself in his mind.

"I thought we went through this my friend!" I raised my voice just how he did with me when I was still me before all this. Before Thia died, Aster being twisted, and before I knew how much I was worth to myself. Before I lost it all to an old man in a suite and a cane he doesn't need!!

"Do not come closer than need be. I warn you for your benefit," he calmly ignored me but it didn't stop me or my approach or where my thoughts led me.

Thia was not my friend but she protected everyone! She warned me in the beginning and I didn't listen!! I fell in a snap into everyone's games!! Everyone played me!! Kaden kidnapped me from my home and my life!! Donny and Jax beat and left me in the streets like I was no better than them!! Nathan and John kept their lives from me and didn't notice when I went missing!! You know who did? Thia did!! It all goes back to her. Astera betrayed me to this man!! Gavin Leer beat me into oblivion and I broke!! Like glass, I shattered in his hands!!!! Uncle beats and curses his beloved sister as he beats his only blood relative he has!! What is wrong with these people?!! Why can they not get it?!! No one does these things to one another!! No one beats their friends for their benefit!!!

Benefit. This is for your benefit!!! Bullshit! You all beat, sold, broke, and betrayed me!! You all did!!! I was forgotten! In the shadows of my house and I enjoyed it!! I embraced it!! It was safe there!!! No one noticed when I left or stayed but I wasn't played!! I wasn't broken like I am now!! I'm broken!! A bone in a carcass that doesn't live anymore!! You all broke me! You used me until I could not be of any use anymore! You made me forget and didn't try to get me back!!! I AM BROKEN!!!!

My thoughts raged on a hurricane of a emotions in whirled winds, too fast to hold on to as there were so many more. I no longer cowered beneath others; they cower beneath me! They are no better than me and I them but they all wronged me. I went for their rescue and came back broken beyond what I thought. What they thought. They thought I had a head injury but that was only part of it!! They used my heart, my mind, and beat my body until I no longer wished to return to reality of my life!! What was left for me to use to pick up the pieces? Nothing.

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John

Every emotion flickered across her face, one after another; her mind taking her to a dark place; a place beyond the shadows or even the light. I could see the accusation in her eyes as she walked towards Gavin. Every crime against her was coming to mind and none of them were forgiven. I could see it clearly everyone was her enemy.

Proserpina was back except it wasn't the part everyone wished to see. Everyone's fears mixed into one, her against us all. I would bet she would win. Proserpina was in that dark place she went to, when we were ambushed in the streets when we were trying to show her the town upon a hill. Only this time she wasn't going there for our protection but for her own against us.

Our Proserpina; the funny, witty, clever, easy going Proserpina was hidden amongst all of the hate and dark shield that protected against us so no one would hurt her again. She knows, only she knows how broken she is and her faith in the good world around her, was crumbling. All she could see was the evil, slippery monsters we all were and how we hurt her in the past. This broke my heart for her.

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Astera

Proserpina remembers everything. That was a fact that couldn't be sugar coated as her wrath seemed to whip out behind her as she blocked all of Gavin's blows with his weapon. Then there was a shift in the air. Bang; a gun went off. Someone cried out in pain. I couldn't tell who maybe it was Proserpina losing her patience with Gavin and hurt him, or went after someone else.

An after wave of buzzing filled my head and my ears, making me deaf to soft sounds except the following fires of a gun. The door splintered open with a kick delivered from Jax, marching in. Another painful bang went off and Jax dropped to the floor in a heap, not moving. Behind him were Kaden, Owen, and Donny. John lies up against the wall scarlet seeping from his torso but I wasn't sure from where with so much of it already covering his clothing.

Taking inventory of everyone in the room I scanned everything. Uncle had the gun raised, taking aim at another one of his kids that he took from all over the country. Proserpina was still questioning Gavin, furiously; with so much patience she hadn't even touched him. Nathan knelt by John watching Proserpina, and trying to stop John's bleeding. Donny did not move from the floor while the others piled in, charging Uncle hoping he releases the gun easily.

Then there was no time, when he spotted me in the mists of the chaos, Uncle shouts something I cannot hear. It might be an order or an apology which must be the first as he is red with rage and aims the barrel at me. Panicked I turned to run or duck except I was already falling though I never heard that third bang. Even without it I knew what happened when I hit the floor with a thud. My chest lifted and rose a final time and it was like a weight had been lifted. I would answer for my sins but I wouldn't be forced or influenced to repeat them and I was happy with that. It was my only blissful thought before I left the world behind.

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