Scars, Pain, & Despair

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Chapter Eight


I woke up in cold sweat that night when it was all done. I knew Jax and I tried to do no real harm and it was for the best but the guilt stuck to me like glue. We left her in the street that night unconscious. Jax kept me strong helping me along when we left and didn't draw attention to me when Kaden began joking about it.

The hollow feeling inside haunted me while we sat and talked but I didn't ignore it, I didn't know how. I hated Kaden for everything that has happened but I couldn't bring myself to hate Jax more than myself when I knew his situation with Jack. I was numb with feeling but I kept up my act of good soldier.

"Wasn't she just pathetic tonight?" Kaden chuckled delighted.

"Yes did you hear her scream on your way over here, Donny?"

"Yes I just about thought I was going be deaf to night if she didn't stop."

"Well I can tell you this gentlemen, she isn't going to be humiliating anyone for a long time with the hits she took." I nodded putting a smirk of fake pride on my face then dropped it after a few seconds catching Jax's eye. He mouthed his questions to me while Kaden went on until eventually a silence grew around us and we left.

"She'll be alright; she wont be a target anymore. We did the right thing."

"Did we really Jax? She was family Jax, I just caused her harm. Wasn't there another way?"

"Donny, there might've been but the decision we made tonight was the best one for that situation. You could've made it a lot worst if you took off with her instead of her the favor you are now."

"That's not how it feels right now."

"I know brother but well get over it and shell forgive you for what happened tonight."

"How much longer until we are out?"

"That all depends on how we play our cards and if we play them right."

"What now then?"

"Now we wait and see if Jack will truly forget about the girl and let the boys go."

"The boys?"

"Nathan and John were caught so they couldn't watch her back. It was to make my job of targeting her easier."

"I hate our jobs."

"You're telling me brother," we walked out of the house back to mine casually trying to forget the past events that happened. I prepared a room for Jax when we arrived and we ate leftovers from dinner in the kitchen letting my mom sleep. We stayed up most of the night after I woke up in cold sweat and he found his decision has kept him from sleep as well. We told stories and remembered what had happened since we met. We talked for a long time but it didn't seem to matter, we could still feel the night haunting us like a ghost.



I knew I had to return home at some point because I had no other place to go that's why I was jumping my fence to land right where Lilly the mastiff we had since I was little was waiting. Her sharp white fangs were bared at me until I reached out my hand letting her recognize my scent. She covered her teethed and turned offering to guide me to the back door since I couldn't see as well as her in the dark. I placed my hand on her back then moved with her avoiding areas in the backyard that I knew there was something I would stub my toe on.

I followed Lilly through her doggy door forgetting the door was unlocked for cases like this. I held in my curses and went into my room. I pulled my pink, princess suit case that was filled with canned food, clothes, water and knives for if I ever left before I was ready. I set the suit case by the window and jumped into my trunk instead of my comfy bed.

Hurriedly I wedge in a stick to help me breath but easy to remove when intruders came. Inside the trunk it was dark and stuffy. I was lying on my toys that were under the comforter that I was lying on so I could stay in here for as long as I needed to. To past the time I relived when I was little and I had the attention.

"Sweetie let me into your room. I want to see all your toys and such," my father and mother crowed at me gently hoping for me to let them in.

"No, I'm busy in here."

"And what would a five year old girl like you be busy with in her room?"

"Stuff and other stuff."

"Name one."

"Boredom and protecting her family from evil aliens coming from everywhere to take their candy. That's two now leave me alone, I'm busy." Dad's laughter came from outside my door; I could hear him clutching my door frame to keep him from falling and to catch his breath.

"Its not funny!! This is a serious matter!" I stomped my little foot annoyed with my parents.

"Didn't you hear her; she's busy. Let us go before we take up too much of her precious time."

"She needs to spend time with her family that is more important," Dad complained still catching his breath.

"I'm busy, leave me alone!!" My mother pulled Dad away from my room and back down the hall towards the living room. While they watched a movie and the hallway exploded with their laughter echoing around the house; I laid on my bed eating candy and staying as far as I could away from the spider guarding my door.

During my moments in the trunk I fell asleep at peace with everything. When I awoke far later into the night I dressed for school the next day then returned to sleep in my trunk where I reviewed more memories to keep myself at peace. My dreams took me away to another place but with the same problems just later when I was rejoined with my friends.

I stood there offering them my hand, wanting them to trust me like I did in them. We were going to get out together with nothing our path then a look of hatred crossed their faces while they stared at my hand.

"I don't need your help and we never will," John spat me then Nathan continued on for him.

"Did you honestly think we were your friends this entire time?"

"Well I hoped..." I let my explanation fall to the ground helpless and wanting to cry. I didn't want it to be true that maybe they were playing a trick on me. Maybe they were going to take it back after it was all said and they would apologize for the hurtful words then we run like we always did.

"We aren't your friends, we never were. Didn't you get the message when we were prepared to leave at the airport?"

"But you stayed," I forced myself to keep back the tears even though it hurt to.

"We didn't stay for you; we stayed because you wouldn't let us go. You are weak no wonder everyone ignores you. Get this through your head you are weak so no one is ever going to want to be your friend or in your life. You're so gullible it was amazing to watch you fall for every word we said and eat them up like stupid dog." Straightening my spine like I was trying to defy some law of physics. Tears were falling down my cheeks and all I could do was fight off the sobs that tried to escape me while I spoke.

"You're wrong! I'm stronger than any of you. I never wanted you in my life or anyone else; it was you that sucked me into all of this!! I didn't want to be a part it; I wanted to stay in my dark corner!!" I wished I stayed in my corner where I would get hurt.

"Weak," It was like their words had a force behind it for I fell to the floor when they turned swaggering away. I wanted to scream at their backs to come back or to stay away but I couldn't my sobs made it impossible for me. I sat up awake hitting my head on the ceiling of me trunk making me rub it furiously to go away. Laying back down I wrapped my arms around my legs so I was like a ball and tried to calm myself down.

When morning came lighting up the sky I dressed and slipped out the window leaving with my backpack for school. I walked my usual route alone without Corbin or anyone else with me, just me. I was still weak with my sickness and sore with all kinds of wounds that I gained the night before when Richard found me.

I waited 3 hours for the duty to come open the gate to allow students who were early in. I huddled up in the cafeteria away from the door trying to keep warm in my thin sweatshirt. John and Nathan didnt come find me making my mind forget about my problems for a while in my classes and at lunch. I tried to ask around but all I got was Who are you? What do you want with them? When did you move here? None of them were any help to help relieve me of looking for them. I strained my neck searching for them until it was too sore to move but I still did despite the pain. My mind spun at the top with so many possibilities that could've happened with the dream that came from last night.



I had to return home that night empty handed. The next morning I searched every block in the neighborhood not finding anything to help my search. Panic set into my stomach making me speed faster down the streets.



I was still in the room Kaden left me in but this time I was allowed to move around the empty space. My wrists had red rings on my skin showing where the ropes cut into me. I hadn't seen or heard from John since the day they brought me up here most likely to keep us from making escape plans.

The only way out was on my own or not going at all. The window was barred like in Harry Potter which made me laugh a loud but I didn't have a flying car to escape with so it was cut short. My door let out a blazing loud alarm when it was opened from the inside alerting everyone in a 2 block radius so that wasn't an option at the moment.

For now I sat in the far right corner waiting until my door opened. Quietly Donny slipped in like a shadow on the wall.

"Donny?! Do you know anything about Proserpina or John? Maybe even Conner?" My concerns making me blurt my questions out.

"Nathan calm down. Proserpina is fine and John is still resisting everything, he won't listen to me but hopefully you will. Soon enough you will be able to get out of here but nothing can go wrong do you understand? Nothing can."

"And nothing will. John will realize that soon enough and think more clearly to come up with a clever little plan." Alarms went off like no other. Jumping to my feet I watched the door with Donny on high alert.

"Damn it John!" Donny ran out the room slamming the door so I couldn't leave, behind him.

"Or he already did. Don't worry John I'll get away soon enough."



All my fighting paid off for my restraints broke suddenly. I ran out of my prison not breaking my pace. The alarm went off from everywhere blocking my ability to hear my attackers. Still that didn't stop me, I smashed my fist into one then knocked the others down like dominos. Nothing stood in my path long enough to be a challenge.

By the time I was out of the house and down a block my fists were red and bleeding but no sense of pain came so I didn't stop.

I didn't look where I was going for now I didn't care; I just wanted to be home. Pent up energy followed through my body. My legs went faster and faster with never ending energy pumping through them.

I ran along the highway with the cars not caring if they pulled up beside me; I wasn't going to stop for them. I was going so fast that my body didn't realize I wasn't getting enough oxygen so I grew nauseous. Still I wasn't going to stop until I arrived at my house, where I had longed to be for quite some time now.

At my house no one was there with my brother doing whatever he does and my father taking down the crime in the city. On the couch there was a note with clothes underneath it.

I can't thank you enough for letting me stay here for the day. To save you the trouble I headed home on my own but thank you for your hospitality.


"How many times am I going to have to tell you; don't go off alone without knowledge or a plan?" I mumbled shaking my head. Hope burned hot in my chest making me go into a jog outside my house. I got a block away when a kid on a bike stopped in front of me.

"Excuse me? Do I know you?"

"Yes you are always running around my sister," the boy stated. Searching through my memory I realized Proserpina pointed him out once.

"Ah you must be Darwin then. What is this about?"

"Where is Proserpina?"

"What?!" Panic settled in striking pain making it hard to breathe.

"I know you were with her!! Is she at your house?!" Corbin's face turned red to purple but I wasn't going to take it.

"Did she go home?"

"Yes but afterwards she left and haven't returned since." By passing him I turned my sprint to a full stride run. His demands were lost in the wind and distance that I quickly increased while I bounded forward.



"Don't touch me," I warned one of Darwin's new found friends. I just arrived at my house ready to start on my homework to pass the time but they stood in my way. There were four new people standing in my front yard plus the usual one that I call Golf course waiting for Darwin

to come home. They stopped me mid stride from going to my front door or my window.

"What are you going to do about it?" The biggest one challenged me.

"If you touch me I'll will not hold back from kicking your ass." They all burst out laughing until they lost their breath. I crossed my arms over my chest patiently waiting.

"You clearly don't know me but maybe you know of my reputation."



"No I haven't heard anything about a stupid brute doing anything but hit on everything that walks."

"Watch what you say to me next. Just because your girl doesn't mean I won't rip out your tongue."

"Was that a threat? Look I know you want to stay top dog in your little group of bullies but do I look like I care what you can do?"

"I'll give you another warning don't disrespect me."

"Golf course aren't you going to talk some sense into these idiots?" Quickly he shook his head at me while the others stared at him stunned.

"Are you just going to let her talk to you like that Miles?"

"That's your name? Miles." Hesitantly he approached me murmuring an apology when his hand connected with my cheek hard. Pain burned on my face when I lifted my hand to the spot he turned red with his back hand. He offered me a small apologetic smile while the others behind him laughed and clapped him on the shoulder in congratulations.

"You just lost my respect for you, Golf course. I hope you're actually sorry because I'm going to make you and your groupies sorry either way." I mumbled my response so he can only hear me.

"Did you get enough pretty lady?" The biggest one mocked me.

"My turn," using my long legs to cover distance faster I cocked my arm back then swung catching him the jaw. Before he could move I upper cutted Golf course right into his rib cage. I stood there with my fists up ready to parry any attack. The rest of the group stared at me both enraged but some with fear. Golf course's eyes were bright with a new ignited rage showing me exactly who these people thought he was. The other kid was lying on his back not meeting anyone's gaze with his shame written all over his face.

"Anyone else want a go at the pretty lady?" I challenged before dropping my fists to my sides then entering my home leaving the idiots behind.



I biked all the way home following the kid that hung around Proserpina all the time. Anger burned hotter than a bonfire in me at her. Proserpina always needed attention but refused to make friends or be a part of the family just for an attention she denies she gets. Everything was revolving around her not once letting me have a shot to show everyone what I could do. Nothing was going to stop me from bringing her home and showing her my world.

In my front yard Miles, Leon, and a few other of my friends stood in the yard. Leon's jaw held a promise of a nasty bruise where he was holding it. Miles was slightly hunched over with his arm over his abdomen. Both of them had glares darker than space pointed at me when I pulled up jumping off my bike.

"What happened to you guys?" I asked while the kid I was following stood in front of them waiting for them to move.

"That damned girl that was here before you." Leon stated his glare darkening.

"Proserpina is inside; she made a scene before she went inside." Miles cleared up my confusion. I stormed to the door, opened the door and screamed her name. She came out walking with a confident swagger in her step. Her eyes met mine then instantly snapped to her friend's. Faster than I could blink Proserpina lit up with joy and ran at him.



Proserpina ran into my arms giving me a bear hug. Laughing with relief I swung her in a circle then set her back down. She released me taking a step back. Her brown eyes shone full of joy at me with her smile adding a tinkle in her eyes.

Giving her my biggest grin I spoke, "Told ya I was irresistible to ya." I winked at her for affect. Giggling she lightly socked me in the arm when her brother cut in.

"Are you two done with your flirting?"

"Haha! He can only wish!!" She didn't turn to look at him.

"Proserpina focus! No one wants to see you and your boyfriend make out."

"In her dreams," this time I commented winking at her again. Pretending to swoon she placed a hand on my shoulder and in one on her forehead then rolling her eyes at me.

"What happened between you and my friends?!"

"Seriously? You thought telling my own brother would be the best revenge?! You aren't only idiots you are pansies in a fight. That's disappointing."

"What Happened!!?"

"They threatened me then Golf course hit me so magically they both met my fist," Proserpina finally met her brother's glare.

"You will not hurt my friends!"

"Your friends! Are you really going to take their side over mine?!! Your own sister!!"

"No but you can't go around hurting all my friends!!"

"I hit two for good reason!!"

"You hit like a girl," the one holding his jaw spoke up.

"Says the boy that was on his ass a minute ago!!" Proserpina retorted making me try to hold in a laugh.

"Whore!" The kid replied ending my laugh while I turned to stand toe to toe with him.

"What did you call the lady?" All my joking aside my voice came out harsh.

"What you going to do about it? She's a whore. W. H. O. R. E." Shaking my head I swung my left hand into his ribs using my right to deliver a sucker punch to his face knocking him back. He bent down holding his nose while I lifted my knee smashing his face into it then hitting his spine so he hit my knee again.

"I'll ask one more time what did you call her," I took one step back letting him have his space while he thought about his next answer carefully. The kid didn't answer so I asked his friends, Would anyone else like to make a comment about the lady? Good," I turned back to Proserpina and her brother.

"Thank you," Proserpina mumbled to me nodding her gratitude.

"What is wrong with you?! You cannot and will not let your, whatever he is, injure my friends!!" Darwin's face went purple with rage beyond belief but Proserpina just raised an eyebrow, leaned to one side on her leg and placed her hand on her hip. We waited a moment for a reply but none came so Darwin calmed down and closed the distance between him and Proserpina.

He placed each hand on her shoulders like they were about to embrace. "Look I know I seem like a jerk right now but you'll understand. We are really close like two peas in a pod just like mom said when we were little. I'll make it up to you. What do you want this time another wooden staff? A sword? A bow? I'll make the arrows too and a quiver if you want one!"

"No," the response hung in the air clear with a ring of a kind of rage.

"What?! Then what do you want?"

"No. I don't want anything as an apology or an excuse for me to forgive you. I want one answer for one question."

"Alright hit me."

"Why is it that John defended my name from your friends and not my brother?" His face dropped with hands to his sides.

"Proserpina don't be like this..."

"No! I want an answer. John has known me for Weeks and you have known me for years! My entire life! Why didn't you defend me!?"

"I...Look this is hard to explain. They're my friends...and they have had my back for a while now. They didn't harm you but you did harm them so...?"

"So your reputation with these nitwits is more important than your sister? Better yet when have I not had your back? Name two times."

"I...Proserpina? Pro come on," he tried to reach out but Proserpina sidestepped sending a disgusted look to Corbin's friends as she went.

"No you have clearly chosen your side and sadly you picked wrong," we strolled away, down the block and around the corner onto the next.


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