It's a great wonder that no one saw us breaking out of Arnold's. If someone had seen us, they would have jumped to conclusions and…well, let's just say things would've turned out not-to-pretty for yours truly.
Well, it was sunset when managed to break out. And Dumbhead Larry managed to restore my iPhone 15 as it had been. Yes, it's version 15, and that's all I will say about it.
Anyways, we managed to get out of there without too much trouble, but don't think we got home right away. We would've been in home in time for dinner, but guess who couldn't resist pranking me? Yep, good old, Jokesaurus.
You know what he did to TIV. He let the air out of four of the ten tires, he emptied the radiator out of water, and he stole the spark plugs, tore out the radio, and put in half of the seats backwards.
What kind of twisted mind would do that? What kind of maniac? Larry, that's who, who won't hesitate in ruining our lives whenever opportunity knocks.
So, as you can expect, I got home by dark. Took me about two and a half hours to fix the mess that he'd made. And he just stood there, with his self-satisfaction smile and beady little eyes.
Well, important thing is that I got home alive. It's a good thing he hadn't replaced the turpentine with gasoline. He's capable of doing that, you know. You don't know Larry until you've lived with him for thousands of years. Seemed more like a zillion years. And believe me, even for us Amarkians that is still a long time.
Anyways, we got home. It was about 8:58. Man, was I tired. I've always like to turn in early, you know. I'm not one of those teenagers who stays up until midnight or later. Nah, plus I need my sleep for all busy work that I have to do.
We both stepped inside, trying to cause as little noise as possible, when I heard a familiar voice say, "Spiny."
I looked into the living room, and saw a little figure running towards me. "Greeny?! What are you doing up? It's past your bedtime!"
"Um, what time is it?" Larry asked.
"It's nine o'clock sharp."
"What's his bedtime, 6 pm or something?"
"Very funny! It happens to be eight o'clock."
"What is that, bedtime or a curfew?"
"Mind your own business!"
"Eesh! All right. No need to be sensitive about it."
This guy's a stubborn nut! How in the world did he end up being my best friend? Well, by the way we get along and he treats me, I'd sure hate to think what he do if he was enemy.
I turned back to my 6-year-old brother. "Greeny, you know that you're not supposed to be up."
You know what he did then? He sat down.
"No, what I mean is, that you're supposed to be in your room."
"Oh, that old place?"
"Greeny, got to your bed."
"Go to sleep!"
"Oh, all right." He trudged back upstairs. I sighed. "Kids. You know how six-year-olds are."
"Boy, do I!" Larry responded.
I turned to him and grinned. "Believe me, you have no idea what it is to have to raise one of those. You don't have to feed him, care for him, teach him, set an example…"
"I don't have to? You mean I can act like a big jerk?"
I leaned over to him and whispered. "You don't have to act."
"Aw, thanks!" See? You see what I mean? I can't even be sarcastic with him, because he deliberately ignores it and comes up with an answer with his own. He definitely should never be a comedian.
I went in the kitchen and got milk and cookies while Larry turned the TV on. "I'm going to see if the Late Show is on."
"That won't be until almost midnight."
"Oh, yeah. Well, I'm going to see what's on."
I came back in the living room and plopped down on the sofa. "Check the TV listings in the newspaper."
He was about to grab the paper when the door opened. "I'll call you tomorrow," we heard a girl's voice saying. Larry looked at me. "Patty had a date tonight."
Patty closed the door behind her and hung up her coat. I saw no reason for her taking a coat…but I guess it must've served some purpose in the romantic mood of the date.
Patty turned around and saw us in the living room. "Oh, hi." She walked in and smiled at us. "What you guys doing?"
"Oh, nothing, we're just here waiting for our reservation on that fantastic trip to Pluto," Larry said.
I elbowed him, trying to hold in the laughter. "Larry, stop that. Patty probably had more important things to do."
"Yeah, like smooching. Just the thought of it makes me want to puke."
Patty's face turned bitter quickly. "You are so immature!" And she turned around and walked up to her room. "We're so mean, right?" I said to Larry.
"Yeah, but it sure is a lot of fun!" he laughed.
Well, there wasn't anything interesting on TV, so we went up to our room to hit the sack. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, flossed, got into my pajamas. I'll tell you this much: it's not something weird, childish, or creepy, so don't start getting ideas.
Anyways, when I got out of my bathroom, Larry was already snoring away a long line of Z's. That's a lazybag for you. I got into bed and wrote a journal entry for that. No, it's not something girly. Many great men in history kept journals. Like, uh…like…like…well, I can't think of any now. It's because I'm thinking too hard. But believe me, there were great men who kept journals at some point in their life. And plus, it's a great way to let your emotions and thoughts out and it keeps you prepared for writing essays.
"I have confession to make."
Huh? Larry has a confession to make? Was I hearing right or was I dreaming? I turned my head slowly to look at him. "You have a confession to make?"
"What did you do?"
"You mean, what I didn't do."
"Okay. What didn't you do?"
"I don't spy on the girls at school from the girls' restroom, or hide in the gym during their aerobics class."
I dropped my pencil and just stared at him. "Excuse me?"
"Do you mean to tell me that after the painful experience I went through months ago didn't even serve you a little bit?!"
"Well, you know…"
"Yeah, I know. You have a way with teen girls that would probably shock Rudolph Valentino or Cary Grant or William Levy."
"Well, I don't mean to offend you. I mean, I know how popular you are with the female population of our age, but believe me, it's better to be a repellant than an attractant."
"Attractant? Is that even a word?"
"It is if I use it."
Well, Mr. Weber decided to write a new dictionary, huh? Well, for all I cared, he could eat his vocabulary along with apples and worms. I ignored him and turned out the lights. I didn't have to argue with that brickhead.
I was about to close my eyes when the door knocked. "Who is it?"
"Me!" said Greeny's voice. "I'm thirsty!"
"Go in the kitchen and get a drink of water!"
"But I'm too tired!"
"Then get water from your bathroom."
"But Robert's using it!"
"Then wait for him to come out."
"But I have to use the bathroom!"
"Then just wait! Do jumping jacks!"
Silence. Finally. What does it take to get some peace and quiet around here? A whole lot, I'll say that. I turned to Larry. He had his head buried in his pillow and his tail was slowly swinging back and forth. "Hey, Larry?"
"Tell me something. How is it that I can manage to be a King, a head of family, and a teenager?"
"I have no idea, but I do know something."
"What is it?"
"Kathy's not in the house."