I hate slumber parties. Simple as that. I hate them. I especially hate it when Kathy and Patty have their slumber parties. Twelve hours of talking, giggling, playing with make-up, dressing up, gossiping, singing on the karaoke machine in the karaoke room underground, pillow fights, etc.
And it's especially awkward for me, because well…because I'm a guy. And…let's just say that I happen to be very-well thought of amongst the girl teenage population. Very well though-of. Admired. Well-liked. All right, I might as well say it again: I'm a very-well known teen heartthrob.
And when I discovered the great gift I have…well, that's putting the car before the tow truck. Let's start at the beginning. That's the best place to start…never mind. This is really embarrassing and I just…phooey!
Anyways, when was it? Oh yeah. February 11, 2015. It was mid-afternoon. I was at work at a meeting. Every once in a while, I meet with representatives from other countries. On this occasion, I was meeting from ambassadors from Iraq, Jordan, Lebanon, the US, the UK, Germany, France, and Saudi Arabia. We were discussing the growing threat from the terrorist group ISIS.
Idiots. That's what these guys are. Stubborn, mule-headed idiots. The ambassador from the US was speaking. Oh, sure, they always get to speak first. America thinks it's hot stuff. America this, America that. The US this, the US that. Well, to me, the US is nosy, overbearing, a show-off; they think they are the King of the world.
Anyways, US guy was saying, "Your Majesty," he said to me. Sure he called me by my title but his tone of voice said, "Listen you no-good, stupid teenage pipsqueak!" Believe me, I can easily detect sarcasm. He kept saying, "You do not understand the graveness of this situation. ISIS is a very powerful group and they have killed many innocent ones. Are you going to let them continue on their Reign of Terror?! Are you that selfish? Are that…"
HA! I may be a lot of things: young, underage, inexperienced but I think I'm entitled to be respected by those in the international community, even if they're over fifty. "I'll give you and your…colleagues several good reasons. Because, unlike certain countries, I do not meddle into the affairs of other countries." Boy, you should've seen his face; red, sweating, teeth grinding, jaw clenched, etc. Looked like he wanted to murder me.
I stood up from the chair. Larry was beside me. He was snoring. That's right. Snoring. Fool. I kicked him. "HEY!"
He shuddered and woke up, falling from the chair. "Huh. No, I didn't wet the bed."
I covered my face with my hands. "Oh, boy." He always manages to embarrass me in front of people. I gave him a look that said, "I'll take care of you later. You'll get what's coming to you." Anyways, I turned to the other representatives. "America started ISIS. When you unlawfully and for no good reason invaded Iraq, you locked up all the dangerous terrorists and allowed them to exchange ideas. So in reality, it's your fault that ISIS came to be. It's your fault. All that innocent blood that's been poured should come upon your heads! And I for one will not participate in that guilt!" I grabbed Larry by the tail and marched out of there before I did something really stupid, like declaring war on them.
I stepped out into the chilly February air. It was partly cloudy but it was around 45 degrees. I put on my coat, scarf and gloves and walked down the busy street. Larry was fully awake now. He doesn't need any protection from the cold. I mean the guy's like, immortal or something. He's been in the middle of atomic bombs exploding and he's only come out with disorientation, slight dizziness, and ashes all over him. I mean, he's even beaten up whole armies single-handedly. It's almost like he's got superhuman or supernatural abilities.
Anyways, I waved to several people as they passed by. Heh. Kind of touching. We were passing a young mother who had her two little girls. One was probably eight or nine and the other was ten. I can't really tell ages by just looking at someone. Anyways, the younger girl seemed to be crying about something.
As I walked up I could see that she'd made a drawing of a flower but it had come out kind of…well, sloppy. The mom and the older sister were trying to comfort her, without success. Unlike in the US, where the roads are lined by artificial grass, here we have natural grasses and flowers of all kinds. We've got everything from tulips to irises to roses…you name it, we've got it.
Anyways, the little girl was crying and well I got kind of touched by it. So when we were about ten feet away I reached down and picked two irises from the side of the sidewalk. Then I walked up to the mom and the two girls and said, "Hey, what's wrong?"
The girl looked up at me with teary eyes. Had blonde hair and blue eyes. Heh. Funny thing you know? Everyone I've seen, and I mean everyone from celebrities to regular people who have blonde hair are the ones have blue eyes. I'm the only person I know that had black hair and blue eyes. Kind of rare, right?
Anyways, the mom said, "Oh, her drawing came out sloppy, Your Majesty."
I stood up. "Oh, no, please. Just call me Spiny." Then I turned to the girls. "Here, here's a picture no one can draw bad." I gave each of them an iris. They both smiled and blushed. "That's it. No more tears, all right?"
They both smiled and the mom said, "Why…thank you!" She smiled and looked at her girls. "What do you say, girls?"
"Thank you," they both said.
I smiled. "Sure thing. Bye-bye."
Larry and I kept walking down the street. Larry looked at me and smiled. "Say, you sure have a way with women, don't you? You're a regular suave Casanova."
I rolled my eyes. "Well…it's not one's fault that you're born that way."
"What? You mean a show-off?"
I glared at him. "No comment."
Anyways, we walked to Arnold's. We stepped in and Larry as usual had to put up a shield to stop the crowd of thirty or so girls who came running at me. "All right! All right! Back up! King coming through!" Larry yelled.
I have to admit it: I love being the cutest guy in town. Sort of makes me the "man." You know, as the leading guy. Anyways, we sat at our usual booth and ordered food. Just two sandwiches and soft drinks. I took off my coat and loosened my necktie. (I'm in human form.) Larry sighed as he ate. "Boy, what we have to deal with, right?"
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, the meeting. You know."
I nodded. "Oh…that! Well, I'll tell you, Larry: this job is dangerous, demanding, tiring, requires iron discipline, and also occasionally requires for me to give up some pleasures of being a teenager. But, I would never give up King for anything in the world."
"You're really passionate about being King, aren't you?"
I shrugged. "Well, I'm just happy to have the privilege. Plus, being King doesn't just mean making laws. It's about serving the people. I like to think that the citizens here in Amarkia are my friends and neighbors and not just my subjects."
At that moment, Kathy walked in with four of her friends, including Lilia. Wow! She was really cute today! I mean, she always looked nice but today…just, wow! She was wearing a jean skirt, leggings, a black-and-white striped top, and huge earrings.
Right then and there, I started writing poetry in my head. I just couldn't help it. It comes naturally.
I mean, all I have to do is just think about her and I my heart starts to race, my breath shortens, and I start mentally writing poetry and song.
And when I think that we're just friends, it causes a pain in my chest and I begin to drift into Fantasy Land.
"SPINY! FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, WAKE UP!"
HUH?! Oh, I, uh, that is, I didn't mean to…oops. Larry's voice was the only one that could snap out of it like that. I shook the vapors out of my head and blinked my eyes. The girls and Larry were all staring at me. Then I got an uh-oh feeling.
Oh, boy. Don't blush. Don't do it. No, stop! Stop blushing! No! Too late. I felt my face burn and using the Mind-Speaking Power, I said to Larry, "Am I blushing?"
"Blushing? You're so red you could be used as a red traffic light."
I tried to smile. "Oh, uh, hi. How's it going?"
Kathy and the girls looked at with smiles and they started giggling like a bunch of preppy girls. Then, Kathy said, "What happened to your face?"
"My face? What's the matter with my face?" I said quickly. Oh, man was this embarrassing.
"Nothing," said Samantha, one of Kathy's friends. Long, brown curly hair and green eyes. "Only that your face is cuter than all the guys on the list of the 100 Most Beautiful People in the World."
"Yeah," said Meagan, another of Kathy's friends. She's a red-head with freckles and hazel eyes. "You would definitely make the top of the list. You'd have no competition."
You're not helping the blush go away. Stop giving me comments. Oh, why was I born with such an angelic face? And to top it all of blue eyes with black hair!
Okay, never mind what I said before. The point is that I was in a very uncomfortable situation. I cleared my throat. Larry laughed and said, "You better stop it. You keep telling him comments like those and you'll make him melt like butter."
I kicked him from under the table. "Ouch!" He growled and kicked me. "Ow! What did you do that for?"
"You kicked me first!"
"That's because you never know when to shut up."
"Freedom of speech!" he said in a singsong voice.
"Why don't you pipe down, huh?"
"No, and furthermore…"
"TAKE A LOCK!" Finally! He really has to be pushed in order to get quiet.
Then I turned to the girls and softened my tone of voice. Good thing was that my blush was gone. In a casual voice I said, "So, how's it going girls?"
"Oh, just fine," said Amanda, who's got black hair and black eyes. She's the only one in the group who's not a native Amarkian. She's from Colombia.
"How was school?" Real cool. Just cool.
"The school is auditioning again," said Lilia. Sigh. Her beautiful voice, like the calming wind that runs through the mountains.
"For the school play?"
Kathy shook her head. "For the school choir."
I turned to Larry. "Why don't you go on to the Palace? I'll get there later."
He nodded and scooted out of the booth. "All right. I'll see you, uh, later." His mouth was twitching. Then he burst into laughter. "Spiny the ladies' man! Spiny the ladies' man!" he started singing.
"LARRY!" I stood up and made a threatening move in him. Boy, you should've seen the way he ran. Like greased lightning. Phew! I scooted the right. "Sit down, girls." I stood up as a sign of respect and waited for all of them to sit down. Then I sat down. "Hey, Arnold!" I yelled. He came out. "Yeah? What-what-what is it? Hurry 'cause I have to get ready for something important. Starting tomorrow I'm going to have a fried chicken stand outside in the parking lot. Full use of company car. Fifteen percent in shares of the investment."
"Hey!" I said in sincere amazement. "Sounds like a good deal, Arnold! All right, this won't be long." I turned to Kathy and her friends. "You girls want to order something?"
"Oh, no," said Lilia.
"It's too much trouble, Spiny," said Meagan.
"You don't have to," said Amanda.
"Oh, come on. I insist." I turned to Arnold. "Could you bring hot chocolate and chocolate-cream banana pie for everyone? On my account." He nodded, taking the order down and then left muttering something under his breath in Chinese. Something told me he wasn't saying William Shakespeare's poem "To be or not To Be." I think he was cussing in Chinese.
"Aw, Spiny. You're really sweet. But you didn't have to do that. It's too much trouble," said Samantha.
I smiled at all of them. "It's not bother. It's a pleasure as a friend. And as a King and servant of the people, it's a pleasure to serve such cute citizens."
They all blushed and smiled. Of course, the cutest was Lilia. Oh, she looked just, I don't know, adorable. Delightful. Gorgeous. Divine. Angelic.
Eh, anyways. I paid for the girls and I stayed to chat with them. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy being with my male friends. Larry, Dimetroodon, Roger, Rudy…they're really close to me. We're inseparable and compatible everywhere. Like nail to skin. And we talk and hang out and play sports and play instruments and all that. And no other group of friends could even compare to the one I have with them. I mean, a guy does need the company of other guys who will share in the triumphs and the trials.
But of course, a guy also needs the friendship of girls. Nothing wrong with that, right? Of course not. I have plenty of friends who are girls: Darla, Kathy, Patty, Rebecca, Lilia…
Anyways, the point is that for some reason I kinda enjoy my conversations with girls just a little bit more than guys. I guess that girls can be better listeners, are good with details and giving advice and understand certain matters more. I mean, they've helped me with plenty of problems that the guys were too dumb or immature to figure.
So, I'm there talking. Well, listening. I try not to talk too much. Meagan, who along with Darla always brings the latest gossip from school, was saying how some girl named Celia had a huge sleepover but didn't invite her best friend.
"Oh, and hey," I said. "You know last week when I was walking in the doors? Well, I saw Heather Keen and she let Jason Williams carry her books for her."
Kathy gasped. "You mean, Heather who sent a lump of sugar in the shape of a heart to Jeremy Adams?"
I nodded. "Yup. I just hope it doesn't come out in the school newspaper."
We all laughed. Then after I paid the check and we started to leave. "Say, Spiny," said Kathy.
"Yeah?" I said, while helping the girls put on their coats.
"Is it all right if we make the slumber party this Saturday?"
HUH? Slumber party. Those words reverberated all through my system. I froze. "Excuese me?"
"The slumber party. Is it all right it the girls come over for Saturday night?" The way she was talking, it seemed as if I had approved of it and was waiting for her to set the date. I really wanted to yell at her, "NO!" But she was talking to me in a loud voice in front of the girls and well…
I stammered. "Oh, sure."
As I said goodbye to Samantha, Meagan, and Amanda and accompanied Lilia and Kathy back to the neighborhood, I could see a slightly evil glisten in her eye. The look that said, "Heh. Heh. See? I used a certain situation to force my slumber party on you."
I'd take of her later.
But for now…..ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh boy!