No rest other than in He

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Sister Faustina finds that life in the convent was not like what she had imagined. A snippet of her journey.

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Sister Faustina, I will not permit you to wear any hair shirt. Absolutely not! If the Lord Jesus were to give you the strength of a colossus, I would then permit those mortifications.”

Mother Raphael had spoken to her kindly. But Faustina could detect a trace of concern in the Superior’s soft brown gaze. Did she, like the other sisters, think that she was a “poor deluded soul” who imagined that the Lord spoke directly to her?

The day before, Jesus had told her.

Go to Mother Superior and ask her to let you wear a hair shirt for seven days, and once every night you are to get up and come to the chapel.

Given her weak constitution, she found difficulty in raising this seemingly ludicrous request. What would Mother think of her? So though she had said yes to Jesus, she procrastinated for the whole of yesterday before He came to her in the evening.

How long will you put it off

So here she was, feeling really foolish. She apologised for taking up Mother’s time and scooted out of the room for the kitchen.

Faustina was baffled. On quite a few occasions like this, Jesus had asked her to be His messenger. But the reaction each time was either disbelief, refusal, ridicule or worse, pity. If He wanted his commands to be fulfilled, why didn’t He just speak directly to their hearts? Why go through her, a weak instrument, full of misery ?

She was still mulling over this when she bumped into someone at the kitchen doorway.

“Oh,I ’m so sorry sis...Jesus?!”

It was the Lord.

" Lord, You had commanded that I asked for these mortifications but the Mother Superior will not permit them.”

To which He replied .

I was here during your conversation with the Superior and know everything. I don’t demand mortification from you, but obedience. By obedience you give great glory to Me and gain merit for yourself.

Then she understood. Just like the Father did not really expect Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, Jesus was just teaching her to be obedient. She knew she had not totally abandoned herself to His divine will in all things. The opinions of others still affected her much.

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