“Good Girls Love Bad Guys”
2015 I started being more present in the bike realm. You know what goes good with motorcycles? You guessed it. Girls! And lots of them. I don’t know what it is that attracts girls to bikes but I stepped on the gas when it came to that. I threw on that vest and the bad boy persona was visibly present. All girls love bad guys. Good girls, bad girls, church girls even get riled up. I was the one biker showing up to events with a different backpack every time. That vibration under their ass got them hotter than the exhaust. My thing was playing with their ass or vagina while riding. I blame that SOA show but I’m thankful. Once that was broadcasted every girl that liked tv soaps was looking for their bad daddy. I was him. It also was the best way to commute to four or five different girls a day. I’d go hundreds of miles a day for some tail. I was always going out of my way to see girls. Anyone that knew me in this time knows that I could just walk into a bar and leave with a girl. I had a gf in 2015 but she knows by now that I was slut scum. And this girlfriend had one of those favorite vaginas. But I was still fighting that curiosity and I was losing the battle. Or was I winning? You be the judge. It hurt me still with this girl. I loved her very much. But couldn’t stay out the cookie jar. Every chance I got a lied about where I was or where I was going. I’d bring girls to my job. I had a job at a beat down rv place. Nice Rvs but the place was beat down. I’d sneak girls into the vehicles on the lot and bang em out then go home to my girl. She lived in an apartment. You couldn’t trust me anywhere where there was a possibility of seeing numerous women on the daily. I was fucking her neighbors. I was fucking her neighbors neighbors. And their sisters too. I use to count girls. Or try to count ones that I could remember. When I was with this girl I was up and over 650. I lost count and quit trying to keep track. I had girls messaging me that said we fucked and I had no clue who they were. They usually get mad. Didn’t care. I ran into a lot of those. Some writing me from Colorado. “Hey where’d you go?” Who the hell are you? And I’d get blocked a lot. But you’re already on my list so tah tah! It wasn’t about the numbers for me though. I wasn’t purposely trying to have sex with as many girls as possible. It was just an addiction. I met some really cool women along the way. That part I’ll never regret. I’m still using the apps come this time. Every once in a while I’d delete the apps because I literally already fucked or tried every girl within 100 miles on them. I’d give the app a break and download it again for a new flock of women. I would be very bold with women and I believe a lot of them didn’t know how to handle that honesty. I could see in their faces that what I’d say to them had floored them. I can probably count on two hands the rejections I’ve got. I was in a bar one night with two friends. In walks these three tall beautiful women. Look like they just left something formal the way they were dressed. Two guys grabbed their attention immediately. They look like frat boys, collared tee shirt, cargo shorts and flip flops. All they needed was a beach shell necklace. Anyway, they’re talking to the girls when one girl walks away from the group over to the bar. I go to her and ask what she and her two friends want to drink, I buy the drinks and I carry one over to the prettier of the three girls. I cut right in front of one of the bro’s I call them. I tell the girl “hey look at this man he’s not going to be any fun he’ll brag later about how he fucked you so hard even if he doesn’t fuck you look at them. He’ll say he did to impress his bro’s. He probably wears more makeup than you do” she laughed so hard she couldn’t hold her drink in I handed her. She asks “what will you do? “ and I replied “I’ll take you back to the house make you cum and never call you again.” She threw her drink down and outside was a limo they came there in and she undressed like it was a magic trick. That dress looked pretty tricky but she was out of it in no time. I did my thing, we melted the ice in the limos mini bar. We climbed out the limo and went back into the bar. At the bar she wrote her number on the bar napkin. I thought so quickly and cunningly. I wiped my face with the napkin, said oh thank you and threw the napkin away right in her face. She couldn’t believe it. Neither could I because she was a 15 on a scale of 1 to 10. Score for the bad guys. The frat boys were so pissed they picked a fight with us. I did what I normally do. Knocked them both out and walked out the bar. As I was leaving one of the girls friends came out and yelled “you’re really not going to take my friends number?” Nahhh, I replied. I didn’t go back to that bar for a long time. Several weeks. When I did. Guess who was there and eager to come back and talk to me. Yup, same girls. They kept coming back hoping me and friends would come again. Insisted that I call this time. I never did. I got in a lot of bar fights over women.
I cannot understand to this day what my issue is. The main reason I didn’t call that girl is because I really prefer to only fuck a girl one day and leave. I know how I am and I’d like to keep the emotions to a minimal or not present at all. So I’d dip. I still couldn’t help but to fall for a lot of girls. And I’d be seeing multiple girls at a time and find myself in love two or three all at once. I had a job that was hosting a weekend long event. I was there for four days and everyday I invited a different chick. I also happened to be technically dating them all at the same time behind each others backs. I couldn’t leave one because I still liked them all but wanted another. Isn’t there a religion or something that I can have 9 wives? Does it apply to girlfriends too or do we have to be married? Non monogamous relationships couldn’t work for me. I can be controlling and very jealous. That’s very selfish of me. But I can’t break it. 9 out of every 10 girls I slept with I’d disappear on immediately after to avoid those kind of conflicts. I am a womanizer too. I recognize the vulnerable women. I’d tell them nice things to get what I wanted and I meant it most of the time but the way I disappeared on them they felt broken from it. I’d get hate texts. And I could hurt these girls they’d still take me back for more. To some girls I was a repeat offender. And they’d just take it. I was talking with a girl friend. Yes one I use to have sex with of course. And we were talking about this very book. And about my issues. She’s a great friend and very understanding. We spoke of this girl from my past that might be a clue somehow. Its one girl who I think I could have changed all this for. I came to Florida at 3 years old and we lived at my grandparents. Four doors down was this girl Shelby. She was my first friend I ever remember making. We had so much fun together. Grew up together to the age of about 7 or 8. As we got older we’d get into so much stuff I remember being completely comfortable around her. We would jump fences from my grandpas yard all the way to her yard and into the pool. Naked sometimes. She was my best friend. I hold her dearly to my heart. Every Halloween her family always did cool things at the house and I’d be there. After leaving that neighborhood I’d still go back to her house for every Halloween and I would express my undying love to her. I’d usually get a cold shoulder and she would just say she knows. Well before I left for the army I hadn’t actually hung out with Shelby in many years. Probably 10 years by then. Somehow she came to my house. God I loved her so much. The most beautiful being I’ve ever set my eyes on. We chilled on the bed and just bullshitted for hours. We talked about everything and I especially liked to hear what she was into. Well she stayed the night and I really had no idea she was interested in anything other than a friendship with me. We moved to the couch around 2 or 3 am. We spooned. I was in heaven there. I couldn’t even believe I was in that position with her. I don’t recall what was said but I kissed her and she kissed me back. We ended up making out for a steaming hot few minutes. I asked her and I remember this like it was yesterday, I asked if she wanted me to go down on her and get her wet, stupid boy I was. I didn’t even know how to talk to her like that. She made me nervous because we’ve never done anything like this before in the almost 20 years I’ve known her. She replied “you can but I’m already really wet” oh my god! I was floored, I was really about to be with the love of my life sexually. I pulled her pants partially down and just as I was about to put my tongue on her my fucking dad comes out to get ready for work! She was so embarrassed. She’d known my family forever. She decided to leave and got in her car, off she went. I never got to talk to her again about it and finish what we started. Torn forever. I still to this day go to her house she still lives in the same house I first met her at down the street from my grandpas. I still confess that undying love to her. Normally she has a boyfriend there next to her and I don’t even care. Fight me bitch. She still just says she knows. That’s all I ever get. I’m madly in love with a girl who I’ve never been with. And I think my friend is right. Maybe she’s why I can’t fully give a woman all of my true love. I’m not sure that it explains every thing that’s wrong with me. But it could be along those lines somewhere. I will never ever get over her. I keep a picture of her in my email. I got that picture 15 years ago. I try to check up on her but she doesn’t have any social media. God wouldn’t that there be the perfect woman. All girls care about anymore is Facebook, Instagram. Gotta check my snaps. It’s so annoying. I always loved that about Shelby. I could have her full attention when we hung out. No one compares.