This might have a impact on my life forever. When I was three years my biological father took me with him to cheat on my mom. His girlfriend sat me in a chair, gave me a handful of lollipops and she went off to the room with him. The chair was right by the door of the room they went into and the door was left open. I could see everything. I had a sucker in mouth and I watched what they were doing as if it was a tv show. I don’t recall my exact thoughts. But I think that played a key role in my “problem” or what sparked my interest. I started playing with myself but didn’t get any real satisfaction yet I was just trying to understand what my penis was and why it felt good to touch it. Going forward a little bit to I think seven years old, my sisters made a neighborhood friend I’ll call crystal. She wasn’t cute at all but she was a little more developed I guess. She had small tits, glasses and this ugly curly black hair. I think she was a Indian girl. She would come stay the night. Me and my sister shared one big bed so this is awkward now but I somehow got this girl to have sex with me. I didn’t cum but it felt good at the same time it was really awkward and we never did it again or spoke of it. After though the girl had a really annoying crush on me. Guess I gave her the first good d. Fast forward a little bit more to around nine or ten years old is when I recall almost vividly my first lucid obsessions with sex. Far too young to probably truly understand what I was doing. But I know it felt good. Really good. I was humping pillows, stuffed animals and dolls. For years I did this. I would hide out in my room humping them and jump to act like I was playing with them whenever one of my parents came into my bedroom. Nobody ever caught me or had a clue. I was on a lot of prescription medications as a boy so I believe my parents just thought I was in zombie mode from the drugs playing with toys or my Nintendo in there. Those were the good ole days of technology. Computers were hot and the tv had these kind of blurred fuzzy adult channels. Once in a while you’d see a ass, bush or tits. By this age my mother had a new man. My step dad. He was a mechanic and would always come home with random things. Coins, collectibles, weird stuff. Sometimes those things were VHS tapes and cds. Well I use to record myself playing super mario through a trick I learned of putting paper in the top of VHS tapes you could record over them. I’d play the tapes first to see what they were. Bam! My first porns I ever watched.! They were weird though. Dutch porns and role plays. But I was fascinated. I’d put those tapes back by the living room tape player after I was done with them and would not record over those. Every night my parents went to sleep I’d push a towel at the bottom of my door in the crack to hide the light from my tv, my dad would get up early. I’d be up late not even jacking off, just watching these tapes. As if I was studying for a course I’d soon be attempting to master. I had no idea yet that I could use the internet to watch porn or if was even available that early on, but it had a cd reader. My dad brought home a disc he found in a car that wasn’t a music cd. I found that out on the computer. It brought up video files. Random videos. One was a monkey peeing in his own mouth. Another was two girls one cup. Most importantly, there was random porn clips. I would sneak into the living room some nights to watch those too. I still wasn’t jacking off yet. I guess I was just taking in information. What are your thoughts on that?
This is gonna be weird but I got a dog. And one night just hanging with my dog he got a erection and I was was like whoa! What is that? And at that exact moment I realized that’s what was happening when I was humping my bears, that’s what was happening on the tapes I was watching. I was getting erections. Boy did I. I amped on my humping and started humping more. And when I started producing orgasms I would use socks, pillow cases, even sometimes I would cut a hole in the bottom of a stuffed animal and cum inside of it. I didn’t actually play with those toys anyway. This happened for many years. My first actual crush was this girl across the street, she was beautiful. A school crossing guard, a cheerleader and a ballet dancer. At school she hated me for some reason. But at home she loved me. I’d go to her house and we’d play and play she’d brush my hair, I’d brush hers and she’d dance around for me to show me what she’s learned. Nothing ever happened between us but I would day dream about humping her for probably about three years. When I turned about twelve years old my parents had this girl come watch me and my sisters. She had huge tits. That was my first physical attraction to women. Their tits. We moved to a new house and I had my own room but she would lay on the couch with us all together as she babysat and I would touch all over her breast. She’d let me too. Guess I was a cute kid or she was a weird nasty bitch. But they were awesome. At first it was over the shirt and gradually went to her showing them to me and me fondling them bare. Didn’t really know a whole lot of what to do with them so I would just grab them and hold them. That went on for about a year and never went further than touching her breasts. Later that year we moved again. My sisters and I made friends with some neighbourhood kids. One family was two boys and a girl. The girl wasn’t terribly cute but cute enough for me to have a secret crush. She was also a cheerleader. I was getting intrigued on what girls thought and one day I tried and successfully broke into this girls journal. It was a spoken password journal, I said the word and it popped open. As it made a sound when it popped open the girl heard. She freaked out and came running to get it. Not much else after that. My recon mission was over as quick as it began. Back to humping bears and watching VHS tapes it is. Nothing really exciting next to that happened for quite a while.
We moved again. This time to a bigger house and there were more kids around us. My parents now owned a trailer park and there was a trailer park across the street. But my parents always warned us not to mix with those kids. Said they were bad influences. They were right.. we started hanging with kids from the trailer park across the street first. There were these two sisters, another girl, and one boy over there. I had a crush on the two sisters. One of the sisters was older than all of us and she had a full chest. Never saw them but would absolutely want to every time I saw her. One of the girls was obese and not too cute. But she was the most experienced even more than the older girl. My first blowjob... all the kids were joking about sex and stuff but I didn’t see anyone doing it. This girl had a obsessive crush on me and begged to touch me and fuck me but I just couldn’t. I had no interest in fat girls. We started eventually drinking mikes hard cranberries in this guys two story. It was fun and always led to daring truth or dare games and the nervous game. If you’ve never heard of the nervous game it’s where someone would touch you on your body in certain places til you got nervous and pushed them off. Well a few mikes hards one day and the fat girl convinced me to let her blow me. We went to my dads garage where it was just me and her and I sat on the riding mower as she gave me my first blow job. I wasn’t proud of it. She wasn’t anything to brag about. But the head was. She sucked the good spirited boy right outta me and I became a fiend for it! That was the best blowjob I’ve ever had even to this day. Many have felt amazing but that was like all of Fourth of July in my pants. Or in her mouth I should say. She became madly obsessed with me afterwards. She would skip school to be at my house waiting for me to get off school in my home. She’d pretend to enjoy cleaning the house with my mom just to see me. I’d let her give me more blowjobs. This girl would come over and she didn’t care who answered the door she was always holding a banana flavored condom in her hand and whoever answered the door she would tell them she wanted to see me cause she was going to have sex with me and that she’d use the flavored condom. I never had sex with her. And she begged and begged. But I had a crush on another one of my sisters new friends. She was a Christian girl though and wasn’t putting out anything! I felt bad because one day the fat girl came over again with a banana flavored condom and this time I told her I’d finally have sex with her. She went to my room with me, got naked and right as she pulled off her pants thank god for my sister she came to my room and said my girlfriend (her friend) was hurt out in the yard and I had to go help carry her. I’m not sure how long the far girl stayed in my room naked but I never went back for her. Almost my first time cheating on a girlfriend.