Loving Her

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(9) Numb

Numb;
unable to think, feel, or react normally because of something that shocks or upsets you.

A groan left my chapped lips as the sun’s rays pierced through my eyelids, disturbing my sleep. I raise my hand to block the sun out but found that my hand was attached to something. With much difficulty, I open my eyes and blinked rapidly as my blurry vision cleared. I was staring up at a peach colored ceiling and it took some time for me to realize that it wasn’t my familiar ceiling.

My brows furrowed as I look down at my left hand which was connected to an IV drip. Then I proceeded to look around the room that I was in. It looked like a generic bedroom, there were no posters or pictures which would suggest that someone lived in it. As a matter of fact, it looked cold and unlived in. What was eye catching, however, was the large book shelf that was built into the wall. It was filled with many books that and it was honestly mind-blowing that someone owned so many books.

I sit up in the soft bed and look down, my face going pale. My hands instantly pulled at the burgundy tee shirt that was on me. It was so big for my small frame that I was practically drowning in it. I was thankful that between my legs weren’t in any pain so I was still virgin.

But whose clothing was this?

A loud voice startled me causing me to place a hand above my thundering heart. I carefully pull the IV drip from my hand and slipped out of the bed. My legs were wobbly but I managed to reach the door.

I paused and looked back around the bedroom. Biting my lip, I slowly opened the wooden door. A wide open area was revealed, to the right of me was an L shaped couch and a Television. On the couch was three males whom eyes were glued to the Television. Straight ahead of me was a dining table and beyond that was the kitchen which contained a woman whose back was to me.

None of then noticed me standing there so I glanced around. My attention was captured by a door which looked like it led to outside, maybe I could make a run for it?

“You’re awake.” A voice announced.

My head snapped in the direction of the voice which came from the woman. I was not the only one who heard her and soon four sets of eyes were trained on me, including the woman. How was I going to escape now?

“You must be hungry, why don’t you come eat?” The woman smiled. It looked innocent enough but I didn’t trust her. Her hair was a dark shade of brown and her eyes were a bright shade of icy blue. She was obviously a bit older seeing as there were a few wrinkles around her eyes. She was wearing hospital scrubs. Was she a nurse?

“Where am I?” I croaked. My voice was hoarse and my throat was dry. Movement from the corner of my eyes made my head turn. The male whom was now standing and taking small steps towards me made my eyes widen. My jaw dropped open and my stomach twisted at the handsome male before me.

“Tate?” My head began swirling in confusion. “W-what are you doing here? D-d-did you kidnap me?” My last question was whispered as I look up at him with tear filled eyes. What the fuck was going on?

His own eyes were filled with pain as he stepped in front of me. “Do you remember anything from last night?” His voice was quiet.

Uncertainty clouded me as I replay the memories from last night.

“I was drinking with my friends and dancing.” Fear filled me as I spoke my next words. “I don’t remember anything after that.” I look up at Tate with terrified eyes. “What happened to me?”

There was a moment of silence.

“I think you should eat breakfast first.” Tate answered, looking down at the ground. I didn’t miss the way his knuckles which were bruised and an angry shade of red, clenched.

I step closer to him. “What happened to me, Tate?”

He looked up at me. I was now very close to him, so close that I could see the bump on his nose which suggested that it had at one point in time, been broken. He gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

“You were almost raped.”

His words paralyzed me with icy fear. My mind replaying those four words almost like a record that was stuck. My heart was pounding against my rib cage and my fingers and toes were freezing cold.

“Who?” The words were out of my mouth before I could stop it.

Tate took a deep breath and when he released that breath, he released the name of the person. “Adam, your boyfriend.”

My mind went blank.

“I heard your screams,”

My body was paralyzed.

“And when I entered the room, he was on top of you.”

Numbness overtook my limbs.

“You were laying on the bed,”

It was like time froze.

“His hands were up your skirt.”

Although he spoke, I couldn’t hear him. The erratic thump of my heart beat washed out all sound until it was the only thing I heard. I was almost raped for the third time. This is the second time Adam attempted to rape me. What if Tate hadn’t saved me? What if Adam tried to rape me again? Why couldn’t I remember anything from last night? Was I that drunk?

My stomach was churning and my palms were ice cold.

Adam was so determined to get me. He took everything away from me. My dignity, my pride, my happiness and now he was hell bent on taking the only thing I had, my virginity. What if next time I wasn’t so lucky? What if next time, Adam does take the only thing I treasure?

Why did I even go to that stupid party? Why didn’t I realize that his nice guy act was just what it is, an act. Why was I going along with my parent’s plan?

Tears welled in my eyes.

You know why. You deserve it. Everything that is being thrown away. You know what you did. A small part of my mind argued.

My body began trembling. I did know why and I did deserve this. This was the price I had to pay for my mistake.

I deserved this.

I am a horrible person.

Warm hands gripped my shoulders, snapping me out of my head. I look up at the person. His steel-grey eyes were filled with pain before he pulled me into his chest which made me tense. I shouldn’t be doing this but this was the man whom had saved me in the past and once again, he’s saved me. Now here he was, comforting me. Tears streamed down my face. There was only one person who comforted me in the past. I almost forgot what it felt like to be hugged by someone who didn’t have ill intentions toward me. His scent filled my lungs causing me to calm down but at the same time, pulling out a series of emotions from my body.

I didn’t think of the consequences of my actions in that moment so I hugged Tate back.

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