The rain thudded against my roof, the noise like pounding drums in my ears. The plate of cold food sat untouched and forgotten on the dull wooden table in front of me. The outside world was grey and cloudy, the windows fogged over and dotted with small droplets of water. I sat there, alone and broken hearted. The memory of you shone clear in my muddled mind; your laugh, your smile, your everything.
You were my everything. But to you, I was nothing. Just another girl to date and then dump. Nothing special. Just someone who clung onto you as a lifeline. Someone who needed you. But you used me, you had me fulfil your need of romance until your precious ex-girlfriend finished school. And then you threw me away, you replaced me with her.
My mind didn't want to forget you at first. When I left my cosy little home, you were everywhere: browsing the shelves of the supermarket, at the counter of the book shop, laughing with her at the restaurant that we used to go to. You sat in the same booth, gripping hands underneath the polished table, exchanging light kisses in between conversations. That used to be us.
Then the world became blurry. My mind was clouded over, my thoughts and memories were jumbled up in a tangled mess. My life fell into a routine I wasn't strong enough to break. I lost my job, I lost my friends, I lost everything. Even my family never calls anymore. My parents probably wrote me off as a failure in their books, made everyone forget that I needed support more than ever now.
But there is one painful memory that I can't forget, one I treasured for so long. That drizzling morning on the cliff side. I had been sitting on the freshly mowed grass of the cliff that descended sharply into the beach. The waves were thundering and the rain only seemed to intensify. I was lost in thought, and then you came along. You sat beside me and said the words I never forgot.
"You know, people say that the rain falls because the sky can no longer handle it's weight."
Then I turned around and replied,
"Just like how your tears fall because your heart can no longer handle the pain?"
Then you invited me to lunch that day and I giddily accepted.
I was naive and stupid then, my mind still dreaming about my fantasy fairytale ending. So you lured me in and trapped me inside your stone cold heart, you tempted me with kisses and eternal love. You fooled me, and I fell into your trap.
3 years passed, and I never suspected a thing. You were the perfect boyfriend, my friends were all so jealous. I flaunted you, displayed you like a trophy. But not many keep their trophies, and I should've known that eventually, you would be passed on into someone else's snatching hands.
Unluckily for me, that someone turned out to the the ex-girlfriend you always loved.
So here I am, slowly breaking into pieces as every day goes by. It's a rainy day again, but now I know that even if I sit at the very same cliff edge, you won't be there to welcome me into your open arms.
Ever since you broke up with me weeks ago, I've figured something out.
Rain is the skies tears. The sky cries too, just like me. The sky cries because somewhere in the world, people are suffering. Just like me.
The tears slide down my gritty face, forming wet, salty tracks. They drip onto the table.
Why should you try and hold the tears back?
Even the sky cries.