I've only trusted one person in my life, yet it wasn't even her who betrayed me. It was me. My own body decided to give up in the middle of class, which has led me to where I am now, the hospital. They had declared that I was anorexic and had to be admitted into the hospital. My parents looked disappointed and didn't even bother checking up on me. I could already hear they're nagging insults on how I can't even take care of myself. The doctor left the room, and not even a second later, my mother opened her mouth.
"Why would you do this? Is this because we don't give up enough attention because trust me from dealing with your brother and managing the company. I think we give you enough fucking attention. You had to stop eating and make us leave in the middle of the day to deal with your whiny little-" she was cut off by my brother, who sat in the chair next to me.
"Mother, I think that's enough. Why don't you two go sign the papers and I'll be here with Nora?" he says, telling them to leave the room. As they step out with one final look at me, Calvin, my brother turns his attention to me. I avoid looking into his eyes, knowing he has a guilty look in his eyes. He hasn't done anything wrong yet believes he could've changed it like he was God or something.
"Nora," he starts as I finally look into his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want you to look at me the way you're looking at me right now like I'm broken, and you think you could've changed fixed me before all this happened."
"Nora, I'm your big brother. I'll always protect you".
"I know Calvin, I know". His phone buzzes before he could respond, and I could tell it was from our parents.
"Listen, Nora, I gotta go, but I'll be back tomorrow before I go back to University and I'll bring your stuff, okay?" I nod.
"Okay, goodbye, I love you," he says while placing a quick kiss on my forehead and starting to leave.
"I love you too," I say as he slips through the door shooting me one last smile.
I sit back and let out a sigh, letting my brain go over the events of today. It started normal with me waking up early, going for a run, and skipping breakfast. I went to school like every day, but today in the middle of class, I had fainted and rushed to the hospital. I had stopped eating a couple of months ago. I had dropped weight, but there was always more that stood out. I wasn't good enough for my parents; I understood that but there's still the thought 'maybe if I skip this meal, they praise me'. Who am I kidding, I could probably vanish for days without them realizing. They had only wanted one child, Calvin, but one morning my mother had found out she was pregnant with her second child, me.
As I continue to look at the ceiling, eyes burning with tears that I won't let fall, another doctor walks in. She seemed to be in her mid-40s with a few grey hairs.
"Hello, I am Dr. Jackson, and you must be Nora, right?" she asks as I nod, not trusting my voice right now.
"Okay, I'm the head doctor, mostly in charge of the teens. Well, Nora, from the looks of it, you are severely underweight. When was the last time you ate?" she asks. There's this gentleness in her voice that makes you feel like you can tell her the truth, so I do.
"Um, like maybe three days?" I state, which sounded more like a question. She nods as she writes down a couple words on her clipboard.
"Okay I'll have someone send some food up and try to eat as much as you can,? Okay, dear, I'll check up on you in a bit" As she leaves, I wonder what's the point of getting better. As soon as I go and think I'm 'normal,' my parents will continue to criticize my every move until I'm perfect in their eyes. My father may not say as much as my mother, but you can feel the judgement rolling off him.
A couple minutes pass and I hear a knock on the door. I look up to see a girl around my age rolling in a cart with food on it. The sight of food makes me sick, so I turn my attention to the small tv on the wall. There was a football game going on, I wasn't really into football since it was more of Calvin's thing. The last time I had watched a football game was when he was still in high school, and he had taken me to his game.
"Hi, I'm Mandy" I gave a small smile, not really in the mood to talk, but I didn't want to seem rude. She placed a plate of pasta with some water in front of me. I stare at the pasta, wondering if I should eat it. Mandy sat down in the chair that was previously occupied by Calvin and looks at the tv, she probably had orders to watch me eat. I pick at the food in front of me and stare off into space. I wonder how long I'll be here. Will they just decide that they don't want to 'fix' me and throw me out? I'm sure my mother would love that.
"So, you like football?" I snap out of daze to look at Mandy, who was already looking at me.
"I mean not really, but my brother had put this on when he was heard, and I think he lost it somewhere," Ì says as she giggles at my story. As she turns back to the game playing, I decide to observe her. She had blonde hair that was tied into a pony, but strands were falling out. She had green eyes that popped out against her fair skin colour. She had a small figure, something I was a little jealous over. I was an awkward 5'7, can't complain about being too tall or short. In middle school, I was taller than most boys, which wasn't really the best thing. I would be practically unnoticeable next to Mandy with brown hair and pale blue eyes. My skin was a couple shades lighter than Mandys, making me look paler than usual.
I look back down at my pasta and decide a bit wouldn't hurt me. I slowly bring it up to my mouth and take a small bite hoping Mandy won't watch me eat. Thankfully she keeps her attention on the TV as I take a sip of water. Another bite later, I decide I've had too much and drop the fork and push the plate as far as I can. This caught Mandy's attention as she stands up and grabs the plate.
"All done?" I nod.
"Alright, I'll be here in the morning to bring you breakfast," she says as she slips through the door.
Once she leaves, I let my thoughts wander off.
"Why'd you eat so much?"
"You know you didn't deserve to eat that."
"Stupid bitch, you just had to fall in front of the whole class?
"They probably think you're some freak who wants attention."
The thoughts continue as I sit there, silently crying, just wanting the day to be over. I lay down and close my eyes, wondering how tomorrow's gonna go.
They'll probably shove the food down your throat. Would they? I drift off into sleep as my brain continues to come up with these thoughts.
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