The not so lonely girl

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The worst day in a long time

———2 months after college started———

during them two months me and Lola had people make fun of us and some rough days especially when the kids started going on and on about me being motherless Lola on the other hand has changed her hair colour twice cuz she was picked on about how different she was but other then that we had new friends that supported us and was getting on good .

—— present day———

It's 4 am and I'm up not a wink of sleep again maybe I should start drinking warm milk or something I need more sleep I look at my surroundings and thought about how I'd have to be up and getting ready for college in a few hours making sure Lola was up and ready too I thought about how quick I took on the responsibility to play the role .I thought about how I dressed at home compared to college how I'm willing to show my body at home willing to show my figure but there it's totally different I wear anything that will cover me so no one can pick but they always find a way I thought about it for a second why can't I look good to make my self feel better why must I always think about others and what they think I rolled out of bed and went into my draws I picked my black ripped skinny jeans and a cute crop top out and I thought about it and put them on feeling comfy I also put socks and my airforces on and put my vanity light on i do my make up a lot but never to college i don't know why I just don't like the attention I prefer it that way but today I wanted to. my mam always used to tell me I was in the wrong thing I'm good at makeup I always have been I made myself some money during year 11 doing peoples prom looks never went myself though .finally done I picked a bag and put the lipstick eyelash glue and mascara in there along with my portfolio that we was told to bring in by miss glee yesterday I also put my camera in there ,it was a chunky camera so I'm glad it fit otherwise I'd be luging it round in a separate bag as I look in the Mirror I wince as I remember my dad and what he would say when I went out pretty and feeling happy he would call me all types of names and told me I was no good no one would want me it reminds me of the kids at school how their words hurt just as much as my own fathers yet they ment nothing to me and at one point he ment something to my life but he wasn't here I am I was snapped back to reality my alarm had gone off I needed to get Lola out of bed that was always fun I thought rolling my eyes . I got some toast ready and buttered with jam on it so all she had to do was get dressed I skipped to her room and knocked then opened "time to get up lolz you can't have a lay in if u go college" I said smiling she shot a glance at me as if telling me to go away " I made food" I say and like that she is up and getting sorted I stand laughing at her . Waiting in the kitchen I decided to make myself an iced coffee for the morning and I heard Lola walk in and start eating god she is such a loud eater I turn to tell her to stop but she has finished "anyone would think I didn't feed you" she stuck her tongue out at me and we both realised the time we ran to my car and I drove to college as quick as possible so we didn't have to rush while we was there I parked gave Lola a hug " I'll drop you off at home later but I have work so I won't be home for a bit" I quickly said as she left " okay I'll talk to u in a bit" she said softly I know she hates it when I have to leave her alone in the house but I have to make a living to keep up on our bills and keeping her happy with all the new trends and her phone bill god that ain't cheap but as long as she's happy I'm happy plus I love my job I'm lost in thought as I walk in so I didn't notice everyone staring and talking about how I looked I'm finally at class when I hear someone whistle at me that enraged me I looked to find where it came from and it was probably half the boys in college standing staring at me I hated that the attention I mean Iv never had a boy respect me my own dad never respect me. I flipped them off and walked into class that's when it started . "Well well well someone decided to make an effort today what happened did mummy decide to finally come back or did daddy stop beating u enough for you to show some skin" kimmy said this with sharpness in her tone as if her tongue was a knife cutting me with her words why would she even say that no one else knows I still don't know how they know my blood started to boil brandy snickered and continued " yeah or did u decide to show everyone that you was a slag" I could feel my self going red from anger I walked to my seat and put my stuff down trying not to pay them any attention and that's when the queen bee spoke and said " who knew she could actually be pretty under those scares and dark circles I felt tears threaten to fall from my eyes that's when I heard my teacher yell " and what on earth is going on here you three I hope you arnt bothering miss lebuff over here (that's my last name tazmin lebuff weird I know but hey it was my mother's last name the only thing I have left of her now really) the three turn white realising they have been caught "no miss of corse not" they all say in unison " good u best not be as she is the best photographer here and I don't mind loosing you 3 and keeping her" she said sternly threatening their place in the corse . "Now class your portfolios please" she said moving on quickly great I thought as soon as I felt good I was pushed right back down why can I never catch a break but I still wanted my day to be good so I held my head high which seemed to bother them more then getting caught the new kid jake was late (and yes I’m still calling him the new kid we are friends don’t get me wrong but we don’t really talk a lot out of class)he walked in and looked right at me with his blue glistening eyes he smirked as he saw me and mouthed wow at me he explained why he was late and sat down . Something to do with his sister not feeling well the lesson carried on going through and analysing different photos in our portfolio the queen bee and her minions carried on the whole lesson I tried so hard to ignore them jake was trying to distract me from every awful comment but they mentioned my sister and that was it my temper exploded I stood up suddenly which made my chair scrape against the floor making a horrid sound I turn to them and glare before I could say anything my teacher came over to me and gave my shoulder a tight squeeze trying to calm me down I look at her and ask if I can be dismissed she nodded with a gentle smile giving me the homework she whispered that she would sort them 3 out before we next come in for class I decided to have lunch at college so I could save on petrol after another 15 minuets jake entered the hall looking for me and as soon as he spots me he smiles and ponders over to where I'm sat I look at him shocked that he still wants to be seen with me since I'm like THE outcast of the entire college especially after today because In them 15 minuets I sat alone I heard all the rumours that were spread just today all over social media and people chatting didn't keep it hidden that they were talking about me . Jake turns to me and goes “hey u okay ? How come you haven’t gone out to eat?” I look at him trying to find words with out crying at him “um I thought it would be best if I stayed to Lola finished” I managed to muffle out still not meeting his gaze he carefully sat down next to me and put his arm round my shoulder which I instantly stiffened up not used to the kindness or him hugging me against everything in my body telling me not to I leaned into him and hugged him back his body spray and aftershave filling my nostrils strangely calming me well that’s never happened before we pull away from each other and smile I look at my phone and see that it’s time for Lola to finish I say good bye to jake and meet Lola at my car and dropped her off at home telling her to be good and that food was in the fridge so she could heat it up and tha I’ll be back by 8.

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