“What did you do Lindsay?”
His voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard as he accused me of cheating on him for the millionth time. Or was this one over me going out with the friends he never liked again. Maybe it was eating lunch with my coworkers last week. I couldn’t ever keep track of everything I wasn’t allowed to do that he might have found out about this time.
“You only heard his side! You don’t know the truth!” My pleas always seemed to fall on deaf ears no matter how many times I tried to proclaim my innocence. He’ll never listen, will he? Is he just a brick wall at this point?
“So tell me the truth then, if that’s really what you think it is at least,”
“I- it’s not that simple”
“That’s what I thought” He turned to leave for the thousandth time during our relationship, “and to think I loved you”
I felt my heart fall into the pit that was my stomach. I felt my face burn with the tears that threatened to fall. I felt my world crumble beneath my feet with each step he took away from me.
I needed him, I needed his touch, his attention, I needed to hear his voice no matter how much his words hurt me. I needed him but I was far below the trash that he walked on that littered the sidewalks and the streets, I was no better than the vermin that he had set out poison and traps for just last week in order to kill the infestation that had plagued his home for months. I was worse than the leeches that had tried to drain my poor puppy of all his blood.
I was the infestation he needed to kill in order to survive.