Loved and Lost

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Smores

The last night at the cabin is by far the hardest. Because on the second my bestfriend returns home with her boyfriend to continue work as I stay behind and continue on until the next holiday or time off. Until then planning for what's to come is what excites me.
Building the house, planing on going to school, and even traveling with Ryder. Trying to agree on all the places we want to go and in what order is the hardest. Along with if we should start at the Harry Potter world or end with it.
"Do you want a regular or jumbo marshmallow?" I quickly grabbed the jumbo marshmallow then stuck it onto my metal skewer. Ryder just raised his eyebrows in surprise as I put the marshmallow in the fire watching as it started to brown.
"Yeah you don't mess with this girl and smores," Peyton let out a laugh remembering when I ate ten when I was tweleve. I can't do more than three now from my dentist's orders and ability to handel that much sweetness completely gone down. "Thanks Ryder. I don't think we couldn't have had a better weekend."
"Anytime Peyton. Just let me know when."
"You got it." I pulled my burnt marshmallow back from the flames and blew out the small fire before placing it on my gramcracker and dark chocolate square.
"And Eventually we'll visit you. You know when I'm not a missing person anymore" I've played the joke enough now that even thinking about the fact I'm a missing persons is just funny. Seeing my father's fake pleads for me to return.
"You'll be over age and able to make sure he can't get with in a mile of you. Or hopefully, jail his ass. That sounds like something to drink to," I heald up my cup filled with orange juice and vodka at the same time as her.
As much as I want that to happen I don't know when I'd be ready too. I can joke about being a missing person but I can't face my father after everything. The bruises he left on my skin and on my mind. The lies I've had to tell when a makeup artist has to cover up a bruise because I have to wear a tank top in a scene. I can't laugh about the times my step monster said lies about my own mother. Returning to holywood means facing that but I'll do it on my terms.
Morning came and we made a quick breakfast for ourselves before getting back on the road returning Dominick and Peyton to their room for new years as we returned home. As much as I was ready for a nap I helped prepare food with Angela and decorations with Robbert.
As people started showing up I bounced between being with Ryder and Angela until Jerimiah and Frankie showed up, together, only making me filled with joy seeing them together. before I realized it the house became filled with friends and family and the night was counting down to our new year. "Come with me darling." I followed Frankie outside as we sat on the swinging bench on the porch looking up at the stars despite the cold. "I'm so proud of you Bri. You came to this town and I could tell you were running from something. Dying your hair all the time and oh so quiet. You've grown and I couldn't be more proud of that."
"Thankyou Frankie." I said. She wrapped an arm around me.
"You and Ryder are going to be together a very, very long time. Trust me I know."
"How? You're sixth sense."
"Yes. I've never been wrong. Just like every couple your going to have your ups and downs but honey, you two are meant for each other. Like weed and brownies."
"Frankie!"
"What? I'm cool." She stood and I followed her motions. She took my hands. "Take it from a girl who ran into all the wrong places for most of her life. Stop running and start chasing. Let yourself chase what you want and don't let what's behind you slow you down or make you get off course." She kissed my cheek then walked back inside. I looked up to the sky at the moon looking for my mother's favorite star. I watched it glow and pulse thinking about her.
"You better be up there helping me find my way." I said before heading in myself. I went back to Ryder as put an arm around me keeping me close to him.
Ryders dad getting drunk on the puch and kids running around made for the night behind crazy but fun. The TV played the New York countdown and we all listen together until they reached ten.
"Five, four, three, two, ONE!" I turned to Ryder wrapping my arms around him and pressing my lips to him. I don't want him to be apart of my life just this year but for the rest of my days. Until I have no more days to count I want him there by my side.

After the long night retreating to our basement where I pulled off my heals and quickly got out of my fitted dress I fell onto the bed. "You can't go to bed, you've got makeup on." I smiled as Ryder took off his shirt.
"It wouldn't be the first time I've slept in it."
"After you covered the pillow in it last time, no way. Go wash up I'll meet you there in a moment." I let out a dramatic sigh as I stood. I walked past grabbing his shirt and headed to the bathroom. I washed off my makeup and he joined me as I started brushing my teeth.
I honestly wasn't ready for the holidays to be over as we both returned to work and continued working on the house I finished brushing my teeth first so I quickly changed teasing Ryder as I did so before leaving for the bedroom. As I walked to the bed I saw the little felt box on the bed.
"It's what you think." He said. I turned to him as he walked over and picked up the box off the bed. He opened the box revealing a ring I never thought could lay on my finger for real. It clearly wasn't brand new but passed down. A vintage and beautiful ring with an oval cut and a few diamonds on each side of it. "I'm asking you to marry me. As Bri or Phoebe. Because no matter what you're the woman I love. The woman who can sit and look at the stars with me for hours dispite being from the city. The woman who can make me laugh. I know we're young but...I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life. So please. Phoebe Clover, will you marry me?"


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