Loved and Lost

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Look at Me

"Cut!" I got off the floor as the director stepped out from behind the camera, "That's a wrap!" Everyone clapped including me. Everyone smiled and cheered clearing everything up that needed to as Director Evans walked over to me. Handing me a wet wipe to take off the fake blood from my face. "Good job Phoebe, that was more than perfect." I gave him a quick hug before pulling back.
"Thank you so much." I started walking with him as we walked off the set. "Really I'm so excited to see what happens next season."
"Speaking of how do you feel about swimming lessons?" I pinched my eyes at him. "We'll talk later. Enjoy the break have some fun. Oh, and tell your father I said hey."I nodded as he walked away my smile fading as I continued on to the trailer. Along the way, I said my thankyous from compliments and to the crew for everything they do. Staring in a teen show made me one of the youngest on set but I never wanted anyone to feel that I'm better than them despite my family who always try to point it out even in the smallest ways. I try to make everyone feel welcome.
I made it to my trailer and eminently got out of my costume and into my own clothes. I set my things on the small couch as I got the rest of my things put together so I could take everything home until the start of next season in late July. My summer isn't the same as everyone else's. My summer starts now. Early April is the best time of year to do pretty much anything in California anyway. That is for normal people.
I'm not normal. I'm the daughter of two world-famous actors. Only my mother passed years ago making my father change into a completely different person and marry some D-list actress who only rose to popularity because of my dad. I at least worked my way to my part, unlike my wicked stepmother. She at least earned that title fair and square.
My phone ringing broke me from my thoughts. Grabbing it I quickly answered recognizing the name and brought it to my ear holding it with my shoulder as I put together the last of my things in the other bag I had stored here in the trailer. "I just heard you wrapped," She said. There's no missing the excitement in her voice as she's been eager for this day just as long as me
"I did, what's up that sleeve of yours?"
"A few things. How about you meet me at Hollywood and Highland."
"Sounds good." I let the phone drop from my shoulder to my hand and ended the call allowing me to tuck it away in my purse and leave my trailer for the season. My car parked in its regular spot I dropped everything in the trunk before getting in and taking off to get to the busy highways.
Being a teen star isn't easy for anyone. It's easier for me because it's all I know. Having famous parents, being taken to major events since I could walk, and even starting in acting projects since I was a baby. This is the only life I know. While I smile for cameras and can walk down the street talking with my best friend only to find myself on the front cover of a magazine the following day it doesn't show everything. Doesn't show that while I go home to a big brand new home when I walk inside I'm met with insults and neglect. Sometimes even pain.
The camera only shows what it wants. Just as I do. Just as my father Liam Clover isn't the loving and kind father he shows that he is. Or the loving wife and stepmother Kaylee Clover show she is. Since my mother died, it's been the main show I've put on. There's no one better that can fake being happy than an actress can. And those suffering in silent pain.
I found Peyton standing in our meeting spot her phone in her hand as she texted someone. After a moment she finally looked up and smiled when she saw me. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around me as I fought to stay standing and not fall to the ground making the people of LA walk all over us. "I'm so happy you're not filming anymore." She said.
"I only film for eight hours," I said.
"Yes but every day and you still have to leave for press soon,"
"I get it," She jumped off me and she stepped back looking at me. "I work a lot." I watched as she looked at me confused. "What?"
"What's that look about? Don't you love the show? You're going onto the third season." We started walking along the sidewalk passing by many kinds of people and we started making out way to some of our favorite shops.
"I do, the cast, the crew are all amazing I just..." I couldn't finish my sentence. The only person in the world who knows my truth stand next to me. The only person who knows there's not much I can do without ruining a lot of things. Even if I pay the price.
"What happened now?"
"Later, let's just enjoy me finishing the season." We continued on and walked around stopping when someone recognized me. Peyton is a lead on a family show but it focuses more on the "parents" Meeting when were eight was a gift as we played half-siblings in a movie. Peyton's a mixed beauty queen who's drop-dead gorgeous. Perfect corkscrew curls as she liked to leave it in its natural state most of the time. I'm Hispanic. My mother was from Mexico coming with her family as a baby and my father's parents are from Spain. My bilingual abilities are what helped me with playing Briana in The Space Between. Both of us known by many different kinds of people. Both of us happy to represent those who don't have many people to look up to.
I got some new makeup, new exercise outfits, and just some things to sit around the house while I finish off my online school year. Unlike my father, I don't need to wear thousands of dollars on my person every moment of the day. There are many things that separate me and my father.
The evening came quickly making our return to my house earlier than I would have wanted. With my father still gone and the wicked stepmother away on location until the end of the week the house was actually quiet. Something that was rare between the arguing of them or between me and my stepmother.
Sitting in my room I laid on my bed as she sat her back against the headboard on her laptop. "What did Lucy do now?"
"You know the usual took the lock off my door, argued with my father again about sending me to a boarding school."
"But that would ruin their reputation now wouldn't it," Peyton said. "Image is the only thing that saves you."
"She said mom never loved me." I sat up finally seeing Peyton's face. It wasn't her usual reaction to the stories I tell. My father laying his hands on me in times of anger. When Lucy made remarks or tapes the most vicious of articles to my bathroom mirror. While plenty of people had something to say about the smallest of imperfections she never failed to find the harshest ones and highlight them. Lucy destroyed her mind. When it wasn't enough she burned her with the ends of cigarettes. Cut off her hair getting her in trouble at the studio. Or locked every door leaving me to sleep on a poolside chair because I hadn't washed her dishes when I wasn't home.
I'm forced to protect a family image I don't want to be in.
"You're mother loved you more than anything else in the world."
"I know that," I stood looking out the window taking in the city view. "She also is getting mad that I'm not calling her mom. Every time I call her by her name she gets this pinched look." I turned back. "I don't know if I can wait two more years."
"One, your birthday is in two months." I walked back over to the bed and sat down next to her. "Too bad you can't just pack up, change your hair, and run away." Peyton let out a laugh and I did too.
"I'm an actress, that doesn't mean my life is a movie," I said grabbing my fuzzy pillow and playing with fur. Peyton kept laughing until she stopped. I looked at her, my eyebrows lifted. "What?"
"I mean..."She leaned forward putting the laptop on the bed. She looked at me. "Dye your hair brown, put in some colored contacts, change your makeup...In a small enough town..."
"Peyton-"
"You could run away."
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