A Letter to my Children from the Mother Side of God

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Chapter Ten – Christ

The pulse of the holy within us receiving and activated by the balanced pulse of God allowed by releasing all unlike itself; our innocent nature, free of blame and guilt, that knows itself as loved; an archetype in all of us calling to be expressed as love to bring holiness to bless all on Earth.

Remember my two regrets in the chapter on miracles? During the years that I led community, a voice would speak whole letters to me in the night. They were always addressed to one of the participants. They were so sweet, never critical or condemning, always very directly and powerfully telling the person exactly what they needed to do to solve a problem. I would write out the note in the night as I was receiving it and then type it formally and deliver it to the person the next day. All receivers knew that they were receiving something awesome even if they joked about “letters from Nancy.” They were not from me.

This time I did ask, “Who are you?” I wrote a note one night and left it on my bedside stand asking who was speaking through me. The next morning I had a word written in my hand writing that I did not remember writing. It said visnu. Figuring that it was really Vishnu and I wrote it wrong, I set out to find out who Vishnu was. I found that visnu is the Sanskrit spelling of Vishnu, part of the holy trinity in Hinduism considered the preserver of the Universe. As the second aspect of God in the Hindu Triad, we might equate Vishnu with the Christ level of thought.

In my writings, please translate “Christ” into any language right for you. There are several major – very major, that is – problems with the word “CHRIST.” First, the Christian Church, and other religions, speak of Jesus Christ as the Christ, one man who lived a couple thousand years ago in Nazareth given this title. Secondly, that one man who was called Christ is a divine image that stands outside of ourselves. And thirdly, calling Christ “Him” makes Christ masculine, denying the feminine. I do not plan to address here an additional problem where other religions and nationalities have different words and ways of understanding what may be the same concept or nature. We may fail to understand that each is addressing the same thing. The Chinese Yin &Yang may well be the same dynamic as Christ.

Let’s look at the distortions of Christ listed above. When Jesus is externalized as the one Christ, this denies every man and woman their divinity. I no longer question the Truth that we are all divine beings and it is this to which we wake as we mature as a soul. Internalized, Christ is the divine idea in the mind of every individual. We all have the archetype of Christ within our psyche. It is this divine idea in our minds that draws us to be it (feminine) and we aspire to be (masculine). It is here that we find unity, sameness, and Oneness. In Oneness the feminine and masculine are balanced. We could think of Christ as the expression of joy when our life energy flows in balance creating radiance and beauty. In this sense, Christ exists only in the present.

Christ is the pulsing energy link that keeps us one with the pulsing energy of God. Christ is thought in mind connected with its source. This idea or ideal of Christ is universal and timeless, meaning all of us have it in our mind from the beginning of humanity to the end. As holy beings, as whole beings, we are receivers and givers of love. Jesus sought to inform us of who we are as holy beings, one with God. Humanity at the time was not ready to understand the universality of the Christ. Can we even imagine the harm done related to the growth of the human soul by such things as the Council of Chalcedon in 451 A.D. declaring Jesus as the only incarnation of light, the only son of God rather than a man who realized his true, divine, being and became the voice and model to teach us who we are? This dogma was recognized as infallible by the Fourth Ecumenical Council of the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox churches which were one church at that time. With such dogmatic definitions, the church has obscured the Christ in humanity at large rather than fostered its birthing on Earth. And to the extent that this is true, the church is the opposite of what it purports to be.

Put this together with religions being focused outside of the self rather than inside the Self. It is only inside that we realize we are called to take personal responsibility for waking up, for releasing our own cultural adaptation, for accepting our own holiness, for growing our own soul, for rising out of culture to bring the pure energy of Christ into it, for rising above our religion to bring the pure energy of Christ onto Earth, and to bless all that is with the energy that only and always blesses. As long as our focus is outside, we manipulate others, use things, and blame someone or something outside of us for our unhappiness. If we are truthful about ourselves and our culture it is obvious that true happiness and healthfulness are rare qualities. And remember that the feminine gives more focus to qualities of being (inside) while the masculine gives more focus to quantities and doing (outside).

Add to these problems the belief that Jesus will return to Earth rather than understanding that it is the Christ energy en masse that is to be proliferating on Earth as we take responsibility for living from our Christ nature. A Course in Miracles says that The First Coming of Christ is merely another name for the creation. This means the creating of the one human soul, the Christ level of energy of which we are all a part. This is not the man Jesus. Jesus demonstrated a higher way of being which was feminine receptive to God. We are meant to be feminine receptive to God.

Perhaps most of what has been attributed to Jesus and seen as Jesus Christ, was really a projection of the archetypal image of Christ in the minds of those creating the image of Jesus. This projected the image onto one man and denied the universal Christ in all of us. And the Course goes on to say that The Second Coming of Christ means nothing more than the end of the ego’s rule and the healing of the mind. That means the end of the ego’s rule in all our minds, as we rise out of our cultural programming and claim that universal Christ nature as our identity, one person at a time.

And how does one even talk about anything religious in our language without using masculine pronouns? Certainly people try to do so by speaking of the Goddess, Mother God, or calling God She. Making these changes just furthers the imbalance and does not correctly see the Christ energy as the balanced Feminine and Masculine Principles. We all try to get to happiness, or we allow and receive what brings happiness from within. The Highest Self in all of us is a collective consciousness, the One Son. And to take the male gender out of that, it is the One Collective Soul to which we all aspire to wake and know ourselves for the first time as holy beings. To be holy is to be happy is to be healthy.

An adult is a grown up body and a Christ is a grown up soul. And that means in every one of us. Christ is the Self we all share. It takes a female and a male to birth a physical child and it takes Feminine and Masculine process to birth a soul that reveals the Christ within us. Our spiritual births are virgin births, they do not involve physical sexuality and they do not relate to gender. They are acts of allowing and receiving into our mind the idea of ourselves as Christs and then acting in accordance with that idea. Birthing Christ within quickens the Truth of our loving nature.

I repeat, the adult is the grown up body and the Christ is the grown up soul. The Christ energy rises above all we’ve learned in culture, and that includes all we’ve learned through religions. Our cultural self dies out (spiritual baby teeth) to give way to the Self which is born of holy lineage (spiritual permanent teeth). Culture always tells us that fulfillment comes from outside of ourselves. In truth, we never feel fulfilled within our cultural identity, within our cultural roles. To be born into our Christ nature is to let go of all blame and condemnation we have felt while unhappy. And then as our Self, we can be in cultural roles and bless all around us with the energy of love that we bring into relationships.

In different Ages either the feminine or masculine energies have been predominant. I believe the joy of the Aquarian Age will lie within bringing these to balance. Never before have we had such a powerful invitation to identify as a divine being and bring magnificent blessings to Earth. This certainly leaves behind such teachings as those that say that Jesus died for our sins which denies our role in maturing as a soul. Our sins are all separations from our own Christ nature and only we can heal those separations.

For many years I led anger workshops throughout the area where I live. One day at the end of one of those workshops at a local university, the department head came in carrying one of Leo Buscaglia’s books on love. “We ought to do a workshop on love,” she said. Without hesitating I replied, “If you’d like a workshop on love, I’ll do a workshop on love.” Little did I know what I had signed up for with that simple statement. I went home and began studying love. I did this as I study most anything about human beings. I observed myself. I used Buscaglia’s criteria that where there is love there is growth. All day long I was asking myself, “Was there growth here?” “Was there growth there?” “Was love creating something new in the situation?” My answer continued to be, “No.” I ended up sinking into a dark night of the soul. After two to three months I came out on the other side. This fit that category of “When going through hell keep going!” I reached a place where I could begin teaching about love from a place of love rather than about anger, which I surely knew by then came from blaming others for not feeling loved.

I have always been a good person. I adapted to be good. I was considered “mature” while I was acting as adults wanted me to act. That was not my genuine Self. It was who I learned to be. Making the switch from culture to soul, from ego self to Higher Self, or from adapted self to free Self always involves a reversal. In fact, I figured out early on in my growth that I could often solve a problem by doing the opposite of what I was doing. I used to enjoy exercising my thinking by practicing this reversal process. The reverse does not mean to go from being good to being bad. It means to reverse from looking outside for solutions to looking inside for solutions. For example, if I experience people as less friendly with few visiting my home these days, the reverse of that would be to start visiting other people at their homes, and therein increase my friendliness.

The first step is to remove focus from others and bring focus to the Self. I remember exactly where I was sitting the day I shifted my whole orientation. I realized that in lower level thinking, either you were at fault or I was at fault for any problem or unhappiness. Note that this is the same as changing from good to bad in the above paragraph and not a proper reversal. I realized that the proper reversal was shifting from finding fault to taking responsibility. Instead of taking on blame from others and projecting blame to them, I needed to take responsibility for being the one to make a change which was to shift the situation to something better. In doing so, I was reclaiming my power. That was a lot different from taking blame upon myself. It meant that I was free to think in new ways and act in new ways which would bring fulfillment to me in ways that were helpful to others as well. I remember hearing a grumbling voice within asking why I have to always be the one to change. Sometimes it is difficult for us to see that people are doing the best they know how. When we can see a better way, we need to live that out ourselves and show that way to others. Meanwhile, we receive the rewards from our own growth and freedom to give higher responses.

Sometimes others can see what we cannot see. Thank God! Many years ago I went to a week-long workshop that Louise Hay held for professional counselors. I particularly remember one segment where I was on the floor on my stomach and one of her helpers was pressing on the knots in my shoulder muscles. I was supposed to say, “I hurt” while she pressed on these spots. She pressed and I said the required, “I hurt.” This went on for the entire allotted time and nothing seemed to be happening. I was lying right in front of the stage from which Louise did her presentations. Just as Louise was to start her next segment, the one pressing on me said, “You have gifts to give that you are not giving.” I started to sob. Pain that I had held in my body moved into awareness as the emotional pain that it was. To this day I thank Louise and those working with me for allowing me to sob through the whole next presentation. Many Baby Christ gifts were placed in the manger that day to mature in time. I wonder how many of our physical pains and sicknesses are Christ gifts that would bring us joy if expressed, and instead, we hide them in our bodies and try to medicate them away.

It was after this that I was invited to teach a class related to A Course in Miracles which grew into the spiritual community that I led for years. It was after this that I was invited from within to write two books related to forgiving and growing. We all have soul gifts to give to the world and are often oblivious as to what those soul gifts are. I can tell you that in giving any genuine gift of Self, it feels right. Doors seem to open miraculously inviting us ever to expand our giving. There is an ease and flow to it that brings joy to us.

I have lived in the same house for most of my adult years. Some pieces of furniture rest in the same ruts as the day they arrived. Changes for me come from transforming my inner house. It is there that I’ve freed myself from thinking and living in the same ruts. I’d like to address the issue of “failure to protect.” Who fails to protect and what is it we fail to protect?

In my late thirties I went to see a new counselor who was to provide some final steps for me before taking the required oral exam to become a Transactional Analyst. Two very vital things happened that day. As I was telling her about some hurtful event from my past, she handed me a large doll that looked exactly like a picture of me as the radiant child I was before I had pneumonia at age two. I also heard her say the words “failure to protect.” I began to sob and continued to sob for the two hour drive home and then for several more hours after arriving home. Then, with tears under control, I went immediately to a toy store where I was able to buy the same doll. The relief I felt at having this physical representation of the young me was beyond words.

I had no image of a loving mother in my mind, and both of my grandmothers had died before I was born. My mind was a blank slate when it came to love or nurturing from a maternal source. No longer avoiding the pain of that, I began to fill that emptiness. As I considered any hurt from any time in my life, I would hold the doll on my lap and imagine how a loving mother or grandmother would respond to any problem before me. I would think the nurturing thought and feel the child emotions at the same time. This brought a connection between my mind and emotions. I took initiative with this process which also served as priming the pump. Soon I heard messages that seemed to come from beyond my own voice. Also, I realized through this that our gut, the child within experiencing emotion, does not know what our mind knows and we have to tell it. The message our gut, inner child, needs to hear is, “I am here now, aware of you, you are safe in my care and I will protect you.” Once connected with the holy, this message comes to us through the holy and brings protection to the soul. Before making this connection, we deny the soul, repress the energy into our bodies as pain and disease, or misdirect our energies to any and all kinds of habits and addictions that do not fulfill the soul.

Let’s relate this to Christmas. Every day is Christmas. Soul energy urges constantly for us to give it birth. The spiritual maturing process no more stops than our body’s aging process stops. And, by the way, maturing makes us youthful and aging makes us old! To grow spiritually, we have to be feminine receptive to our own divinity. We make our soul receptive to divinity by releasing blame and accepting responsibility. We release and accept to make the inner connection that brings love to our feeling nature. This is also to balance the feminine and masculine within. All spiritual growth births from feminine processes as recognizing, acknowledging, accepting, allowing, forgiving, releasing, and receiving the waking Self to our own care in the manger in our mind. The baby Christ is our innocent nature, it blames no one for not feeling loved for it knows itself as loved from within. This process simply waits our acceptance and our taking responsibility for its fulfillment.

The Christ level of energy remembers who we are while we are asleep in our cultural adaptations and addictions and urges us to remember. To not allowourselves to remember is to fail to protect our own soul’s birthing. When ready, we look inwardly with Mother’s eyes, listen inwardly with Mother’s ears, and hold out our Mother’s arms ready to embrace the pure divinity coming from within. When ready, we place this pure, innocent energy in the manger within, allowed and received by the inner feminine. These are the gifts of love and compassion that are so lacking on Earth. It is interesting to observe human dynamics in recent natural disasters to see how they are calling out love and compassion in the one human family. The Call to awaken comes from within us. We release lower ways and accept higher ways to birth Christ. To ignore the Call is to fail to protect our own divinity.

Every time we think about another person, or see another person, we make a judgment about ourselves. If we believe that we are empty and deprived of love, we will see them as depriving us and further our sense of deprivation as well as depriving them. This is the nature of our defense system. In Truth, we are all worthy of love and have the ability to assure a full supply by making our own inner connection. If we see our Self as a loving being, and the other worthy of love no matter what, we will extend love and once again know ourselves as loving. This is the nature of our Christ Self. As we see the other we will see ourselves. We see an enemy or we see a Christ. We defend to try to protect ourselves or we accept Truth to protect ourselves. We accept Truth to mature as a being and protect our own divinity in doing so.

For many years I have gathered with a group around the time of Easter to celebrate our new and resurrected Selves. We call it our veil ceremony. We take turns placing as many scarves as we choose over our head lighter ones first and then darker ones. It becomes very dark in that place. This represents the dark places we are in before unveiling our Christ nature. Each time we declare a release, a chosen friend removes one veil. As we continue to make our declarations and remove veils, we see more and more light until we sigh with relief at the full removal revealing the Christ that was hidden in us. We have included more of our Self in the story of divinity.

Here are a few examples of such declarations from a group. “Rather than follow blindly all of the rules and regulations of the Church that I learned as a child and followed as an adult, I recognize that I am a person free to think for myself. Being free, I can follow the course that is right for me that is best for my own health and well being.” “Instead of blindly following the decisions of my doctor, I will research and increase my knowledge of my condition so I can ask meaningful questions and take part in the decision making process.” “I release the image of ‘other daughter’ and object of shame and guilt. I am not the disposable other daughter of Mama. I hold constant awareness of my innocence, purity, and beauty. I am valuable beyond words.” “Instead of trying to fit in so that I am accepted and not isolated, I will be on my Purpose of giving love whether I am accepted, fit in, or not.”

I’m sure we have all had the experience of feeling separated from other people in ways that are uncomfortable. We are separated inside ourselves without realizing it. It is the balanced Feminine and Masculine Principles that pulse within that provide a constant source of love to us. When we see ourselves in our Christ identity, we have received love and given love. When not in this state, we are busy trying to put an end to separations we feel outside of ourselves. In trying to get love from other people we do things like trying to please, trying to make another feel guilty, trying to scare another, or trying to change them with anger. When we first stop doing these and reverse our energy by drawing our attention inward, it seems that separations outside of ourselves get worse. Once we make our inner connection, however, we are free to express love to another and stop demanding in ways that can only maintain a separation. The other may or may not respond in kind. However, we no longer need to demand that they change to fulfill us because we are fulfilled by our own change.

With our own free will, we allow the Christ in us to be born by releasing all unlike this Christ energy. This means all blame and guilt. This means all judgments that hold vengeance and wish harm to another. This means all beliefs that we are unworthy of receiving such love. This means all beliefs that others are not worthy of receiving such love. This means releasing our identity as consumer seeking endlessly through external things for happiness. And for me, most likely for you too, this means switching from seeing my source of love as coming from others in body identity, to God as Mother and Father in soul identity. And all of this means to forgive which is to ASK to be reborn and bless the world with miracles. It is to lift the veil so we know our divinity and radiate our beauty out to the world. Nothing delivers a stronger message to the world than a radiant smile on our face.

On p. 282 of Power VS. Force, David R. Hawkins has a chart in which he lists the counterbalancing force of those who have reached higher levels of consciousness. I list the three highest here. He says that kinesiological testing has shown that one individual living at the level of Love, where happiness of others emerges as the essential motivating force, counterbalances 750,000 individuals living below the first level which indicates integrity and courage to grow spiritually; one individual living at the level of Peace, where the good of mankind and the search for enlightenment are primary goals, counterbalances 10 million people living below the first level which indicates integrity and courage to grow spiritually; and one individual living at the level of Enlightenment counterbalances 70 million individuals living below the first level which indicates integrity and courage to grow spiritually.

I believe that this requires ultimate faith in spiritual growth, for the higher we move in consciousness, the more we touch others in ways unseen and unknown. I take this point seriously. As I said earlier, when working as a nurse, I could see what I had accomplished in a day’s work. When working as a counselor, teacher, and author, I could see less of what I accomplished in a day’s work. And now that I have dedicated my life to reaching and holding myself in the highest level of consciousness that I can, I see even less of what I accomplish in a day’s work. l believe that those of us willing to grow our souls provide a pool of energy at the level where we are all One which serves as a magnet to pull others up. I trust that this magnetic force is Feminine while that force that inspires us is Masculine. And to me this says everything about our need to acknowledge the Feminine of the I AM whether we are a woman or a man.

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