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My 'love life'

Life is mean to my love life, I got a boyfriend, he cheated, I got a girlfriend but she's abusive and mean...

I don't think my 'love life' is a good one..

I keep getting drawn back to my still girlfriend who is mean to me. I've been sad because I think she's cheating but everytime I break up with her she starts fake crying but I keep thinking it's real and so I get back with her and it happens all over again. She's my soulmate though and I'd do anything for her..

She wouldn't do the same.

I think a lot about it but it just goes back to " No I love her that's all that matters, right? It doesn't matter that she talks meanly and badly about me behind my back, she hurts me, she's mean to me, but that doesn't matter! All that matters is that I love her and she 'loves' me...

She makes me cry but it's ok.. As long as I have her!

She makes me feel like I'm not good enough... But that's ok! As long as I get her touch!

She makes up excuses of why she can never answer me... But that's ok! As long as I get her 'love'!

My soulmate...

Isn't my mate...

Isn't my lover...

Isn't nice to me...

Doesn't give me her love...

Doesn't care about me...

Won't take a bullet for me...

Won't love me for real...

My friends always say "Please, break up with her!"-A

"She's gonna hurt you!"-M

"You'll find someone else, someone better!"S

"We care about you!" -K

"We'll take a bullet for you!"-L

"We'll give you all of our love until it all runs out!"E

"You're in a toxic relationship!"-A

"Please... You don't need her... We'll help you get over her.. Please!! I'm not going to have this girl take your life..."-All

"You don't have a real soulmate!"

"She is so much prettier than you!"

"She was so nice to you!"

"She was awesome!"

"She never even liked you!"

"She never wanted anything to do with you!"

"It wasn't fate it was force!"

"You're sick!"

"She hates you still!"

"She's better off without you!"

"She cheated on you so many times and you just realized!

"She is so cool!"

"She's dating the popular girl!"

"You are nothing without her!"

"She just felt bad for you!"

"Why don't you go cry to your girlfriend! Wait I forgot! She dumped you!"

"You're such a crybaby!"

I don't even know why you have friends!"

"Just go already no one will miss you!"

"Your friends are probably fake too!"

"I guess I deserve this... All these voices telling me to go, my girlfriend cheating on me, the whole school hating, yelling, and blaming it all on me, my friends beating up her, me believing that she was my soulmate, my parents making me feel worthless, my grades getting worse and worse, my confidence leaving me, my sisters hurting me, me letting people hurt me, but most of all me feeling worthless, hopeless, and useless from what you guys have been telling me."

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