How the world crumbles around you and everyone says the walls are still standing. It feels like your suffocating while everyone breathes. But it's not just sadness it just an emptiness you can feel. Or sometimes you wish something bad to happen to yourself just to feel something. And if the day is really rough you feel your mask deteriorating. And then you're forced to turn the emptiness into something making you appear as a lier. Which in a way you are. But usually to protect yourself. And you feel every mistake you make, every breath you make, every movement you create. Is hurting someone. And if you like me then you start just being ridiculed. Saying " My breath is still hurting people I'm increasing global warming." Or I wonder " Why am I still living when there are better people out there that have died?'' "Why am I being so dramatic there are probably hundreds of people out there who have it worst than me." I can't breathe it is suffocating me wrapping around my throat pulling me down while I drown in sorrow. Just weak and worthless. But other times you're having a better day where you feel things. But before things escalated I didn't think it was possible for me to not feel anything. How ironic.