FOREVER INTO THE BLUE
K. So say you're this kid, right? You’re this ten year old boy 'n' your dad dies, like, outta nowhere. Like literally outta the blue. Like, you're laying out by your pool one day and looking up at the sky & your sister comes outside crying & says dad's dead. You're ten ‘n’ your dad died 'n' now you're gonna have to, like, live with your mom, like, alone, like, forever. So you're all depressed 'n' listening to the Kinks "O, Demon Alcohol" (the words of which you do not yet understand, but it's the closest sound you can find to your mood) 'n' going to a therapist 'n' all & one day your therapist says how 'bout you write a letter to him on Facebook & the idea immediately strikes you as genius, right, cuz Facebook's gonna be here, like, 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 literally forever . . . like, at least as far as you are able to discern the digital revolution, as long as we have access to digital technology, we will, at least in theory, be able to access Facebook; so even though you're not real sure exactly where you stand on the whole Judgement Day thing, with all the dead souls coming back to stand before the Throne of God 'n' all -- at least there's a chance, right? I mean, if Facebook's gonna be here forever and forever means what you think it does, then there's actually -- & I'm pretty sure this is provable, like, with math 'n' stuff -- then there's actually, like, more than a chance: some day your dad is bound to read that letter; and even though you could not have known this at the time, you must have sensed it somehow cuz as soon as your therapist makes the suggestion, you know two things: you know that you are going to write that letter & you know that your dad is going to read it.
So you go home 'n' you pull up Facebook on your desktop -- this is, like, '08ish -- & you write:
So I guess you're dead 'n' up there with God 'n' all, right? I hope there aren't any n_____s up there [this was back when you used to think it was funny (mostly cuz your dad taught you it was funny) to make fun of people who used the 'n' word by saying the 'n' word. You do not think this is funny anymore]. Any details you could give me about what it's like up there would be great, btw. Like, literally any detail.
An aside: why do I keep leaving the 'e' off the end of 'like'? Three times in a row I just did this; though I did just nail those last two, so I guess the point is moot. Sorry.
Anyway, how is it up there? I mean, you don't have to give me any details or anything (I know how God pro'lly is about stuff like that) I just mean, like, how do you like it, like, how you doing up there?
Another aside: Dude. Is God, like, a dick? I mean, I read the Bible, like, a lot, actually --especially for an infidel -- but the thing I'm trying to get to, like . . . I mean the point I'm trying to make is, like, sometimes God -- at least as He's portrayed in the Bible -- can be an asshole, like when he burnt that whole city with, like, everybody in it, like, somewhere in Egypt or whatever, or like when He lets Satan torture Job [yes, torture: God, for some less-than-fathomable reason decides He needs to prove, like, to 𝑆𝑎𝑡𝑎𝑛 – 𝑦𝑒𝑠𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡, right, how powerful He is, or whatever. Actually, I've never been able to understand why God does half of what He does in this Book. I mean, I've been able to for the most part successfully reconcile most of my issues with Religion & the Bible & Christianity by way of submitting to the conceit that we have finite minds, and are therefore unable to understand the Mind of God or the reasons He does what He does; the analogy I use for the . . . mechanism . . . the . . . catalyst for said reconciliation is that our minds compared to God's Mind is like a . . . moth's (or pick your own insect) mind to ours . . . it's just another echelon, another . . . species of intelligence -- but I'm not always able to do this; sometimes I still can't seem to help but be baffled, and, more often than would seem proper for a Christian -- pissed off -- by some of the things He does, or, in this book, i.e. Job, some of the things He decides to let happen]. I mean, like why does He let Satan kill Job's wife & all his kids & take away all his property -- like pretty much everything he's got except for the clothes on his back if I remember right -- 'n' now nobody's ever taught Job how to live out on the street but now Job's gonna have to get used to it, right? But does Job turn on God? Hell no he doesn't! Turns out Job's one real live genuine bad motherfucker when it comes to, like, getting God's back. So . . . yeah, I guess . . . take that Satan . . . I guess . . . ].
Things are pretty sad down here, I mean you're gone 'n' up there with God 'n' all 'n' you're just so totally not here anymore . . . I mean . . . 'n' mom's worse than ever; I don't think she's been out of bed to so much as take a piss in a week 'n' I mean you can smell her even with her door closed. And you're gone, like, what, like forever? Like forever. And, yeah, I know how you feel about God 'n' all but, you know, forever's a long time, -- like, a long time. Anything can happen. Even God.
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