My Anxiety and memories of past mistakes started welling up inside of me. The mistakes I’ve made and actions I regret keep lingering inside my head.
The self doubt & worry of what’s yet to come scares me. I want to crawl away, run and hide from it all. I don’t want to deal with the future, it all seems to much for the current me.
Although I have these thoughts, they all fade way at a moments notice.
I find peace yet again...
It all hit me again, the memories of what I had done. All small to grand scale, it was of no matter they all weighed the same. The feeling, fear of never wanting to confront them are all but one in the same. The constant thoughts of others & how they view my actions tear me apart.
I want to forget, enjoy my life for what it is. The stress & pain are all part of it. I can’t forget nor deny that fact.
I try to calm myself with these small little means of temporary enjoyment. The pleasure of such luxury can only help so much, before they have worn past their use...
Instead I’ll ponder these thoughts, and find things to fill this never filling void. Until my life reaches the inevitable end...