I think it’s fair to say that today has been the worst after all the drama and complication escalating the past month or so.
Even with my door closed and my study being located far from the living room downstairs, I could still hear my dad and grandma yelling at each other. Well...more like Dad doing the yelling whilst Gran is trying to calm him down and reason with him after the bombshell I dropped on him during supper.
I can’t say that I was surprised by his reaction. If anything, it was understandable why he did so since what I did that got me into this whole messy entanglement of problems was highly unacceptable. But I didn’t expect him to look at me with such malice and disgust as if he wanted to disown me right on the spot.
I sighed, biting my lip and choking back a sob as I laid my head on top of my folded arms, staring at the topaz sky from the window with tears threating to escape my eyes. Suddenly, I heard my phone ringing from my desk. I reached for it and checked the caller ID. It was Maren.
She and I stopped talking after she found out and confronted me - I had been avoiding her altogether. She had been trying to reach out for me through text and voicemails, but I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her mainly because I was afraid to. I was scared that she’d be disappointed in me since she had warned me beforehand. But now, with everything that was happening, I knew that I couldn’t avoid her any longer despite wanting to avoid any form of confrontation from her on the matter. After all, she was the only person, besides my grandmother and sister whom I could lean on for support and comfort at a time I needed it the most.
But, so help me God, if she decides to bitch about it, I’m adding her to my blocklist.
Sighing once again, I hit “accept”.
“Oh, thank God! You finally answered!” Was the first thing she said, letting out a sigh of relief. “How long does it take you to answer the damn phone? Is it that hard to operate a Samsung Galaxy A6? I told your ass to stick to iOS instead of switching to Android.”
I chuckled at her outburst for the first time in weeks. God, I missed how overdramatic and sassy she got over a lot of things even if it wasn’t necessary. “Sorry, Mare-bear. It’s been a rough couple of weeks.” I told her.
“‘It’s been a rough couple of weeks’ my ass! You’ve been ghosting me for weeks and having me all worried about you! I thought you committed seppuku!”
“Seppuku is a Japanese ritual suicide, Mare.”
“As long as you have a sharp blade, then anyone can do it.”
“Maren,” I pinched the bridge of my nose. “you don’t even know how seppuku works; and even if you did, you’d fuck it up.”
“Well thank God Google exists.”
“I – whatever.” I sighed, fed up and decided not to argue further knowing how stubborn and adamant she was. It was going to be all day and night with her, and I wasn’t having it.
“I really was worried about you, Bee,” Maren said, dropping the sass and becoming serious. “I know you’re going through some shit and even though I was a little upset – ”
“A little upset?” I crowed incredulously.
“Hush, child. I’m speaking here.” She snapped making me roll my eyes. “Even though I was a little upset, you could have at least answered my calls or responded to my texts just so I know that you’re okay and alive, at least.”
“I know,” I sighed. “I’m just trying to put up with the shit storm that’s stirring at home. Things aren’t exactly the same after I told my dad.”
“Hol’ up. You told your old man?!” she screamed loud enough for me to remove my phone from my ear so I wouldn’t go deaf.
“I figured I’m better off telling him instead of waiting until he finds out.” I reasoned.
“How did he take it?”
“What do you think?”
“I wouldn’t know since I wasn’t there when you spilled the tea.”
I suddenly felt a twinge of irritation. “Maren, my bullshit tolerance levels are at a minimum. You better watch what you say to me or so help me God, this will be the last time you’ll ever speak to me.” I snapped.
“Alright! Alright! Damn! Sorry!” she replied. “I’m sure he’ll come around and accept it eventually, Bee.”
“Will he? Because it seems to me, he ain’t letting this slide anytime soon - or ever, for that matter.”
“Okay first off, you can’t just drop that bomb and expect him to take it all in in one go and be okay with it because, quite frankly, what you did was fucking stupid and that was the last thing he expected his daughter to do. No offence.”
I sighed, “None taken.”
“Second, give him time. It’s a hard pill for him to swallow at the moment but I’m sure he’ll grow to accept it and understand that you made a mistake and it wasn’t your intention. What’s done is done. The only thing y’all can do about it is move forward.”
We didn’t say a thing after that since there wasn’t much to say. “Otherwise, how are you holding up?” she asked.
“I’m doing okay.” I answered.