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It was already dark outside. My feet where on the seat of the banquette, my arms wrapped around my knees and my head against the headrest. Slow but smooth alternative country music was playing in the empty diner.

I was at Queen of Hearts, a small diner that wasnt far from home. I normally went there whenever I was craving for their food, especially their fries, pancakes, waffles, and custard cake. It was also a nice place to go to when I was working on rough drafts for new ideas for art and do my schoolwork or whenever I wanted to get away from home whenever I wanted to think and clear my head especially in the evening where it was less hectic with less people.

And that was why I was there. To think and clear my head.

It wasnt too long after what happened at home and there was a lot to think about and process.

I knew Maren was trying to help fix the tension between Matthew and me. I understood she did that to push me to face the problem instead of avoiding it and waiting for it to resolve itself, but she could have had the decency to respect my space and understand that I didnt want to do it then when I told her. She knew that I was the type of person who never liked rushing and preferred to take one step at a time and do things at my own time and at my own pace.

But then again, I couldnt hold it against her because she didnt know what was going on and what caused the tension in the first place. If she did, she would have known where to draw the line and respect my space until such a time she felt I wasnt going to do anything about it.

I DIDNT FORCE YOU TO SLEEP WITH ME! YOU BASICALLY OPENED YOUR LEGS TO ME! My hands curled into a fist, gripping the sleeves of my hoodie tightly and swallowed the lump in my throat.

I knew his words shouldnt have affected me the way they had when he said them. I didnt have the right to be offended by them because what happened that night was a heat of the moment. We both got carried away and it wasnt supposed to mean anything but it did. His words werent supposed to cut so deep but they did.

But why?

Was it because of the curiosity that sparked a small attraction towards him?

Was it because he was easy to talk to about anything without any judgement?

Was it because even though he couldnt relate with how I felt about my mothers death, he actually took the time to listen to me and encouraged me to see the positive over the negative?

Was it because of the way he made me feel that night?

The way he kissed every part of me like I was a valuable treasure. How are body were in sync with one another.

Hey. Someone broke me out of my train of thought.

I looked up and saw Saro standing next to me. Hey. What are you doing here? I asked, sitting up straight.

I work here. She simply answered with a shrug.

Right there and then, I noticed that she was indeed dressed in the uniform consisting of a pair of black slacks, a navy blue apron tied around her waist and a navy blue shirt with the diners logo on the right breast pocket.

How come Ive never seen you around here? I come here regularly enough to know the owner and the employees here. I said.

I take shifts after school on Tuesdays, Thursdays and sometimes on Fridays depending on if I get called in to cover for someone. She told me. On top of that, I only started working her during Summer Break..

I see.

Do want to order something? she asked.

No, I declined. I only came here it get away from home.

Well, whatever happened at home, I can tell that it really got you troubled. You good?

Yeah妄ind of. Just got a lot on my mind is all.

I know it aint my business nor place to ask if you wanna talk about it and I dont really talk much from what youve already observed, but I am a good listener if you need to vent about anything. I can throw in my two cents on whatever you throw at me.

You dont have to, Saro.

I know but whatevers bothering you now doesnt seem like it will go away anytime soon and you dont seem to know what to do about it.

I bit my lip, taking in her words.

Again, you dont have to tell me if you dont want to. Im just saying Im available to listen to your problems.

I thought about it. She was right about my dilemma being problematic and wasnt going to disappear overnight and I obviously had no idea how to go about it. Maybe talking about it wasnt so bad.

You busy? I asked.

Seeing that there arent many customers, Im pretty much free. She sat down. Its better than standing at the counter looking at people, am I right?

True. I agreed with a small smile

So, she said. whats on your mind?

I was quiet, collecting my thoughts and putting them together. Have you ever felt angry and hurt over something you know you shouldnt but you still do anyway?

Saro arched any eyebrow.

Like the issue is small. Its nothing serious. It shouldnt even mean anything but youre angry about it regardless.

If its affecting you that much then the issue itself is bigger than you think, is something serious and does mean something to you to some degree. She answered. What adding to your anger is that you dont nor understand why you feel that way and why its bothering you in the first place.

The thing about humans is that we tend to be oblivious to the answers right in front of us or we just choose to not acknowledge whats right under our noses either because were in denial or were too proud to admit it. She told me. But thats what I personally think.

I nodded, drumming my fingers on the table, taking in what she said.

Are you by any chance in that kind of dilemma? she asked, catching me off guard.

What makes you say that? I asked.

Being a literature student has its perks. She answered with a smirk. We tend to observe and analyse things no matter how small and insignificant they may seem. Plus, the tone you used to address your question was mostly directed towards you rather than it being a casual hypothetical question.

Wow, I let out a ragged laugh. I guess I should work on my acting skills.

Nah, it only takes an observant person to actually analyse things. She said, And like I said; humans are oblivious to whats in front of them. So even if you had asked your question the say way you did, chance of any other person overlooking it are close to being high.

I see.

So are you in that kind of dilemma?

I was silent for a brief moment before I gave my answer. You can say that I am. I色 I trailed off into another brief pause. I slept with my best friends mentor during Summer Break on my birthday.

Her eyebrows flew up, surprised. I had a feeling that it was somewhere along those lines but I dismissed the idea since you dont seem like that kind of girl. No offense.

I chuckled. Its okay. Even I was surprised that I did such a thing after it happened.

Tell me, was Birthday Sex by Jeremih playing in the background? she said wiggling her eyebrows. I kicked her shin with a flushed face. What? It was sex on your birthday. Birthday Sex. She giggled.

I rolled my eyes.

Okay, so you guys fucked. Is that why youre mad?

No. How it happened was a spur of them moment wand we got carried away but it was consensual between us nonetheless. I explained. It was what happened after.

She gesticulated me to continue.

He called me by another persons name.

To say that she was surprised at the bombshell I had dropped would be an understatement. She was shocked and speechless.

I narrated the events of the night at Eaglesvale until the following where the naming incident took place then to when he dropped me off at Brookes place until the incident earlier that evening. After what he said, I hung up on him and here I am. I finished.

Man. Thats one entanglement. She commented.

Entanglement? I questioned.

Yeah. Like string of complications tied into one.

宇hats one way to put it.

Does your best friend know?

No. Last thing I need is things getting awkward.

Does he know about the name slip?

I shook my head. he didnt ask why I ran off so I assumed that it wasnt a big deal.

But it is a big deal to you. You slept with this guy and he called you by a name that might belong to a potential ex. Thats the worst thing that can ever happen to someone especially when its your first time.

But it shouldnt matter. Were not that close. I insisted.

This is what I meant when I talked about people being in denial and being too proud to admit to something thats right under their noses. She told me. From what youve told me, its pretty clear that this guy made you a certain way which explains why youre and angry.

So what are you saying?

It seems to me that you developed an attraction towards the guy. She said. Its small but an attraction no doubt. And the reason why youre angry and having sleepless nights stems from that incident where he referred you to someone else.

I took in her words and understood. So what should I do?

The answer is simple. She said. You have to confront him about it. You cant wait around until he figures out why since he obviously has no clue what he did wrong. He deserves to know why youre angry and frustrated.

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