A new day, a new schoolyear, old school, old classmates, old habits, old feelings, but new hope... I hope.
Again, I look into the mirror, long brown hair, beautiful green eyes, filled with tears. This is not who I am, this is not my choice, not who I want to be. But it’s the only way for me to even dream about making friends, nobody wants to be friends with a monster like me.
I’m different, different doesn’t belong in this world. Whatever happened, nobody can find out about me being different. If you want to survive, then you need to change yourself, those are de rules of society. It’s not fair, but who ever told you ‘life is fair’? I mean, there are people who buy too much and don’t know what to do with all that, and there are people who can’t even buy food. No one ever asked them how they feel, nobody ever looks at them. It’s how the world works, and there is no hero who can come and save you, you need to do it yourself.
It’s been told since we’re little, being different is an illness, something wrong with our brain. It must be removed with surgery. Most people who have this surgery and up being insane and, in the end, they get killed... sometimes I wonder if the earth isn’t hell, even hell can’t be this painful, right?
I quickly push off my alarm, I must be fast. Only ten minutes left before the school bus is here. As fast as I can, put up my make-up in shape, just like those clothes, I don’t feel comfortable wearing them. But just like other girls, do I need to.
It is Monday what means; every girl must wear yellow. Girls with blond hair need to have a high ponytail, brown hair loose hair, red hair are all braided backwards. Even that isn’t our choice anymore.
Every boy must wear a blue suit, a white t-shirt and a yellow necktie. I really hate the colour code, isn’t it worse enough that we need to fit in? why even procure a colour code? They must really hate us.
From the window I see how the bus drives into my street. I need to run, for the first time this schoolyear, I run down the stairs, put in a hurry my shoes and jacket on, take my bag and close the door behind me. As fast as I can I run to the bus stop, hoping that I wouldn’t be too late.
I’m lucky today, I arrive two seconds before the bus, trying to take my breath I join my schoolmates on the bus.
“Did you have to run again Louise?” the bus driver is a nice woman, but the sound of her voice sounds as horrible as a hungry kitten.
“yes miss” one of the many rules, always be polite and speak with two or more words. Especially when you talk to someone older than you, even if it’s just a year.
Carefully, I sit down next to another girl, I don’t know her, and I don’t need to know her. The less people I know, the less bad I feel about the fact that I’m a monster.