Dear Luke

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Chapter 11

January 18, 2014

Dear Luke,

I cannot wait for my brother and father to leave tomorrow morning. Since I got a C- in one of my classes from last Quarter, he is making me email the teacher in this super-adult voice about changing my grade. This after I already asked him in person and after he already said many times he will not change anyone’s grade. The thing is my dad will never love me for being me. If things are not going according to his plan he will try to change them. Fix them. The only way he will ever love me is if I become ¨useful¨ or get perfect grades or acquire some skill that will get me a free ride into college. I wish he would not act like I am so worthless just because I do not do exactly as he says, when he says to do it, no questions asked. I am not perfect. I do not get the best grades, and I am not really the best at anything, but I am trying Luke. I’m trying so hard, and he cannot see that. He says I will end up eating from a garbage can. ¨You make the bed in which you will lie¨ he says. But that is just it. He will not allow me to make the bed, he wants to make it for me. I feel trapped you know? Like a slave.

I am reading Poison Princess by Kresley Cole. IT is a post-apocalyptic story. It helps to read; lose myself in the pages, pretend I am in their world and not here. I wish I could tell you this in person, but I cannot. I am sorry.

Your friend,

Raine

January 23, 2014

Dear Luke,

I watched a very disturbing video today. Your friend Dylan sent it to me. You know Dylan, totally obsessed with dolphins? Anyway, I almost barfed. It showed men stabbing the poor creatures. The water was completely red with their blood and the men were still stabbing them. When they pulled them into the boat, they sat them and starting laughing and high-fiving each other while they ate their lunch.I love dolphins. For me they symbolize innocence, peace love, intelligence. They always seem to be smiling and happy. To see them so brutally murdered and disrespected like that...I cried. You know I never cry, but I did. I banned Dylan from ever sending me such a horrible picture ever again, and then muted him on Facebook. I mean I am glad he is bringing awareness to the issue, and trying to protect the dolphins, but that was just too much.

Your friend,

Raine

February 21, 2014

Dear Luke,

I am sorry I have not written for such a long time. School has been rough and you know so has home life. My brother left for God knows where without my Dad today. He will be gone for three weeks. I thought being an only child for month would be cool. I could not be more wrong.My dad picks a fight about literally everything. He calls me disrespectful, rude. He says I am ungrateful. Worst, he compares me to my brother. I want to scream at him, but all I do is cry like the pathetic wimp that I am. ¨Who is it,¨ I want to scream, ¨that picks up after all of you?! Who is it that you call whenever you do not want to do something? It is me! It is always me! You would be nowhere without me. Whose bank account do you drain to fund my brother’s travels? To pay the mortgage? It is me! I am always the one who has to suffer!!¨ But I do not. I cry. Cause apparently that is what I do when I am too angry to form words. He beat me across the back with a stick today. There is no mark, so I guess that is a plus. The pain is subsiding.

Your friend,

Raine

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