September 28, 2014
Yesterday one of my friend Kayla she wanted to kill herself, and repeatedly threatened to cut herself. You and I went to the office to get her some help. Today she was perfectly fine.My brother got ¨the Talk¨ today. Not the sex talk that most people get at his age. The race talk. About how a black boy is killed every 28 hours in America, regardless of having a black president. The talk that if you run into a police man it is ¨Yes sir¨ and ¨no sir¨ and ¨am I free to go sir¨. And it makes me wonder about how much we have really progressed from racism. People think it is over, that this is the land of the free and the home of the brave. Screw that. Black people killed for wearing hoodies, for looking at the police the wrong way, for picking up a toy gun. It is so sad.It really puts things in perspective you know. What do I have? I am not book smart. I do not play a sport competitively anymore. I have nothing. The only thing I have going for me is that I love helping people, I love reading, and I love writing. That is not going to get me anywhere. Especially not with my 2.3 GPA. What’s worse is that I am totally in love with you, but why would a guy like you ever want to date a girl like me? You are smart, talented. You know what you are doing and you are going to get into a good college. I wish I could tell you all this...you know in person, but everytime I see you, you are smiling and happy. And I close up, and do not tell you because honestly who would want to ruin that? Seriously who?
October 1, 2014
Perks of Being a Wallflower is like officially my favorite book. I do not like the sex/drugs/parties etc part. I like the part about feeling free. The whole idea of being infinite. The feeling of being so happy you feel at one with the world. In the book Stephen Chbosky (the author) writes ¨And in that moment we were truly infinite.¨ I do not know why, but that one sentence holds a lot of power to me. Like what does he mean? I mean I have interpreted it the way I want to, but I cannot help wondering what exactly the author was thinking when he wrote that. There are a lot of great quotes in that book. ¨We choose the love we think we deserve.¨ Funny. I chose you.